This evening, my friend T.O. sent me the following link about how two schoolgirls were part of a 'shocking' family plot to kill their own grandfather and steal his inheritance early, a court heard.
According to THIS ARTICLE, the sisters, aged 14 and 15, scoured the internet with their 48-year-old mother, 18-year-old brother and his 16-year-old girlfriend for 'the easiest way to kill an old person', it is alleged.
They are accused of hatching a number of plans and carrying out a savage attack on the 89-year-old dementia sufferer using bricks in plastic bags.
CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST OF THE ENTRY (who photographs).
My heart goes out to the grandfather. Why in the world did they do such a heartless thing to an old man? Is money more important than the life of a loved one?
Sighs...I am truly shocked beyond words!
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale'. He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever lying there.
'You talk?' he asks.
'Yep,' the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down.
I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
'Ten dollars,' the guy says.
'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'
'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that sh*t.
-Author Unknown-
*Thanks to Angela who sent me this post. I posted this joke last year but just am reposting it to dispel the gloomy clouds looming above us. Take care and do swing by later for the next post. Keep smiling and believe change will come, one day!
Growing old is a difficult process. I am half a century old. Gosh! I can be a museum artifact. Some of you may be older or younger but whatever stage you may be in, I am sure you have had to take care of an older member of the family, be it your parents, grandparents or relatives.
This morning, I was chatting with my former classmate via FB and we were reminiscing about our school days and how in time to come, each of us will go, one by one. Both of us agreed that this is the time to reconnect with our friends and loved ones so that before we die, at least we have mended bridges or said whatever we did not say but should have said in the past.
Then we started talking about our parents. Alexandra used to sit in front of me in class and as I visited her often, I remember her mom and grandmom fondly. So that put me in a very sentimental mood as I have been thinking of my parents a lot. It has been 37 years since my mom passed away and I still remember the last week of her life as if it just happened yesterday. And it has been almost four years since my father died. And I really miss them so. :-(
The dam burst when I watched this video that Angela sent me today. It really made me realize what might befall me when I get old, feeble, and cannot blog any more, cannot talk or walk etc. I sent it to my sons. My older boy was very touched and messaged me on FB and then I called him. My younger one will only be home at 5pm.
Watch this VIDEO AT THIS LINK and be touched.
Cherish, treasure the moments/memories ....
Live, love and touch others with your life....
We only have one life. Let's live it to the fullest and always love, respect, cherish our parents, grandparents, children and loved ones.
Take care and do share your thoughts. Thanks!
"It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit."
Noël Coward, Blithe Spirit
"The big thieves hang the little ones."
Czech proverb
"Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority is not using his intelligence; he is just using his memory."
Leonardo Da Vinci (1452-1519)
"Patriotism is when love of your own people comes first; nationalism, when hate for people other than your own comes first."
Charles De Gaulle
"...the world is governed by very different personages to what is imagined by those who are not themselves behind the scenes."
Benjamin Disraeli (1801-1884) Prime Minister of Britain
"Much less evil would be done on earth if evil could not be done in the name of good."
Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach (Aphorisms)
"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it."
Albert Einstein
"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice."
Albert Einstein
"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity."
Albert Einstein
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us."
Ralph Waldo Emerson, 19th-century American essayist and poet
"If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea."
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"All wars are civil wars, because all men are brothers ... Each one owes infinitely more to the human race than to the particular country in which he was born."
Francois Fenelon
"Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one."
Malcolm S. Forbes
"The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking."
J. K. Galbraith
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."
Galileo Galilei (1564-1642)
"Non-cooperation with evil is as much a duty as is cooperation with good."
Mahatma Gandhi
"The society which scorns excellence in plumbing as a humble activity and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exaulted activity will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy ... neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water."
John W. Gardner
"We look forward to the time when the power of love will replace the love of power. Then will our world know the blessings of peace."
William Gladstone
"A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you have."
Barry Goldwater, Presidential candidate
"I don't want yes men around me. I want everyone to tell the truth, even if it costs them their jobs."
Samuel Goldwyn
"I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. What I can do, I should do and, with the help of God, I will do!"
Everett Hale
"Education would be much more effective if its purpose was to ensure that by the time they leave school every boy and girl should know how much they do not know, and be imbued with a lifelong desire to know it."
Sir William Haley
"Liberty lies in the hearts of men and women; when it dies there, no constitution, no law, no court can save it."
Judge Learned Hand
"You cannot discover new oceans until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore."
Hawai'ian saying
"The only thing we learn from history is that we learn nothing from history."
Friedrich Hegel
"Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny."
Robert Heinlein
"Even in an evil world we can so live our lives as to merit the protecting care of our Father in Heaven. We can be as the righteous living among the evils of Sodom and Gomorrah. Abraham pleaded that these cities might be spared for the sake of the righteous. (see Genesis 18:20-32)"
Gordon B. Hinckley
"It is easier to find a score of men wise enough to discover the truth than to find one intrepid enough, in the face of opposition, to stand up for it."
A. A. Hodge
"A man is usually more careful of his money than of his principles."
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., speech, Boston, 8 January 1897
"A ship in port is safe, but that's not what ships are built for."
Grace Hopper. (The computer term "bug" is also due to Grace Hopper)
"Honesty pays, but it don't seem to pay enough to suit some people."
Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard
"Why worry about what threatens our heads or purses? Let us think instead of what threatens our souls."
Victor Hugo
"What does a man seek in this world? A position, or a throne? Man seeks peace of mind and the fear of Almighty God. As long as one knows that there is a judgement day, he tries to keep his conscience clear and do what he can."
King Hussein - Late King Of Jordan
"Facts don't cease to exist because they are ignored."
Aldous Huxley
"The majority never has right on its side. Never I say! That is one of the social lies that a free, thinking man is bound to rebel against. Who makes up the majority in any given country? Is it the wise men or the fools? I think we must agree that the fools are in a terrible overwhelming majority, all the wide world over. But, damn it, it can surely never be right that the stupid should rule over the clever!"
Henrik Ibsen, An Enemy of the People
"When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends."
Japanese Proverb
"Men willingly believe what they wish."
Julius Caesar
"If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands."
Douglas Noel Adams - Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, 1987
"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so." Douglas Noel Adams
"Until lions have their historians, tales of the hunt will always glorify the hunters."
African proverb
"I cannot afford to waste my time making money."
Jean Louis Rodolphe Agassiz (1807-73), Swiss-American zoologist, geologist
"What man has done to man is the saddest chapter in the history of the world. The story of the peoples of the earth is in large measure the tale of how the world whipped the nonconformist with its displeasure and visited upon him dishonor and ignominy, torture and death."
George K. Anderson, from The Legend of the Wandering Jew
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires."
Susan B. Anthony (1820-1906)
“The quest for riches darkens the sense of right and wrong.”
Antiphanes, ancient Greek dramatist
"The 10 Commandments contain 297 words. The Bill of Rights is stated in 463 words. Lincoln's Gettysburg Address contains 266 words. A recent federal directive to regulate the price of cabbage contains 26,911 words."
The Atlanta Journal
"Practicing the Golden Rule is not a sacrifice, it's an investment."
Byllye Avery
“Only religion can prevent democratic rule from developing into mob rule. A nation can prosper only as its citizens are religious, intelligent, capable of service and eager to render it.”
Roger Babson, economist
“Every great panic we have ever had has been foreshadowed by a general decline in observance of religious principles.”
Roger Babson, economist, predicted the 1929 stock market crash
"Nothing doth more hurt in a state than that cunning men pass for wise."
Francis Bacon
"A caged canary is secure; but it is not free. It is easier for free men to resist terrorism from afar than tyranny from within."
Chuck Baldwin
"For the past two centuries, those who do not prize freedom have chipped away at every major clause of our Constitution until today we face a crisis of great dimensions."
Ezra Taft Benson
"The God of heaven sent some of His choicest spirits to lay the foundation of this government. And he has sent other choice spirits to preserve it."
Ezra Taft Benson
"Could many of our ills today have resulted from our failure to train a strong citizenry from the only source we have -- the boys and girls of each community? Have they grown up to believe in politics without principle, pleasure without conscience, knowledge without effort, wealth without work, business without morality, science without humanity, worship without sacrifice?"
Ezra Taft Benson
"When they give a person a Bachelors degree, they take away their mouth, when they give them a Masters degree, they take away their brains, and when they give them a PhD, they give them back their mouth."
Helen K. Billings, PhD (1901-1995)
["In Robert Bolt’s "A Man for All Seasons," Richard Rich offers the perjured testimony that would send Sir Thomas More to the executioner. As Rich passed by the defendant’s dock, More noticed a new chain of office around Rich’s neck, and asked what it was. Thomas Cromwell answered that Rich was now Attorney General for Wales. Looking at his false accuser with a mixture of pain and amusement, More said:"]
"For Wales? Why, Richard, it profits a man nothing to give his soul for the whole world ... but for Wales!"
Robert Bolt in "A Man for All Seasons"
"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."
Napoleon Bonaparte
"We have grasped the mystery of the atom and rejected the Sermon on the Mount. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants. We know more about war than we know about peace, more about killing than we know about living."
General Omar Bradley, U.S. Army
"If you think we are free today, you know nothing about tyranny and even less about freedom."
Tom Braun, Radio Show, Spirit of '76 -- Voice of Warning
"The government is good at one thing...it knows how to break your legs, and then hand you a crutch and say 'see if it weren't for the government you wouldn't be able to walk.'"
Harry Browne
"It is proof of a base and low mind for one to wish to think with the masses or majority, merely because the majority is the majority. Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people."
Giordano Bruno
"In looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if they don't have the first, the other two will kill you."
Warren Buffet, CEO, Berkshire Hathaway
"No one understood better than Stalin that the true object of propaganda is neither to convince nor even to persuade, but to produce a uniform pattern of public utterance in which the first trace of unorthodox thought immediately reveals itself as a jarring dissonance."
Alan Bullock, in Hitler and Stalin: Parallel Lives
"First they burn books, then they burn people."
Bumper Sticker
"It is necessary only for the good man to do nothing for evil to triumph."
Edmund Burke
"Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them."
Samuel Butler
"In such a world of conflict, a world of victims and executioners, it is the job of thinking people, not to be on the side of the executioners."
Albert Camus
"Integrity has no need of rules."
Albert Camus
"I'll tell you a big secret, my friend: Don't wait for the Last Judgment. It happens every day."
Albert Camus (1913-1960) The Fall, 1956
"The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants."
Albert Camus
"Throughout history government has served as a vehicle for the organization of hatred and oppression, benefiting no one except those who are ambitious and ruthless enough to gain control of it."
Doug Casey
"Ah yes, truth. Funny how everyone is always asking for it but when they get it they don't believe it because it's not the truth they want to hear."
Helena Cassadine
"Those who steal from private individuals spend their lives in stocks and chains; those who steal from the public treasury go dressed in gold and purple."
Marcus Porcius Cato - (Roman Statesman - 190 B.C.)
"When morality comes up against profit, it is seldom that profit loses."
Shirley Chisholm
"If you will not fight for right when you can easily win without bloodshed; if you will not fight when your victory is sure and not too costly; you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a precarious chance of survival. There may even be a worse case. You may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves."
Winston Churchill
Have you ever heard of Upton Sinclair and his book called "The Brass Check"? According to Wikipedia:
The Brass Check is a muckraking exposé of American journalism by Upton Sinclair published in 1919. It focuses mainly on newspapers and the Associated Press wire service, along with a few magazines. Other critiques of the press had appeared, but Sinclair reached a wider audience with his personal fame and lively, provocative writing style. Sinclair called The Brass Check "the most important and most dangerous book I have ever written."
The University of Illinois Press released a new edition of the book in 2003, which contains a preface by Robert McChesney and Ben Scott. The text is also freely available on the Internet, as Sinclair opted not to copyright the text in an effort to maximize its readership.
For much of Sinclair's career he was known as a "two book author": for writing The Jungle and The Brass Check. Sinclair organized ten printings of The Brass Check in its first decade and sold over 150,000 copies. To maximize his readership, he did not take advantage of the opportunity to copyright the book.
..........
Sinclair criticizes newspapers as ultra-conservative and supporting the political and economic powers that be, or as sensational tabloids practicing yellow journalism. In both cases, their purpose is to promote the business interests of the paper's owners, the owner's bankers, and/or the paper's advertisers.
This is accomplished in several ways; among them:
The publishers tell the editors what can and cannot be printed.
Journalists routinely invent stories.
To stimulate circulation, newspapers sensationalize trivial stories and destroy lives and reputations.
Errors and slanders are never retracted, or the retraction is buried in the paper months later.
CLICK HERE for more.
At this point, I wonder if you have watched THE MEDIA AS THE HANDMAIDEN OF WAR. According to the Massachusetts School of Law that uploaded the video:
"Freedom of the press belongs to whoever owns the press." In this presentation of The Massachusetts School of Law's program, Books of Our Times, Dean Lawrence R. Velvel interviews American Historian Howard Zinn on his books: You Can't Be Neutral on a Moving Train - A personal History of Our Times, and Failure To Quit - Reflections of an Optimistic Historian.
The Massachusetts School of Law also presents information on important current affairs to the general public in television and radio broadcasts, an intellectual journal, conferences, author appearances, blogs and books. For more information visit THIS SITE.
Watch THAT VIDEO ON THE MEDIA AS THE HANDMAIDEN OF WAR.
Take a look around you today. Consider what you can read in the MSM and many online portals.
Does it seem to you that someone or some quarters are fanning away selling a negative picture of what might happen? Are they amplifying what they perceive to be deviance simply because something is not congruent to their ideals? What ARE they trying to sell to us?
They can fan, fan, fan away but the truth will prevail, especially amongst those who can see beyond deceit, lies, fabrication/distortion of truth.
I have had a very busy day today with various chores and also sessions with my insurance agent with regards to my policies. :-( I will have to update my blog later as I am on my way out to take my son to his rehearsal with his accompanist for his violin exam. It has been such a busy day that I have not even kept my laundry :-(.
In the mean time, it is my pleasure to share this beautiful and educational video clip. It is very cleverly done - a wonderful lesson put to music - sit back and enjoy it like I did.
CLICK HERE TO ENJOY THIS BEAUTIFUL VIDEO CLIP.
Thanks to my brother-in-law BT who sent me this clip. Have a pleasant evening, everyone! Swing by later ok? Take care!
ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing n the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS: The only creatures you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.
HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.
TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES: Something other people have. I have character lines.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it's two-tired.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway)
A backward poet writes inverse.
In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
Show me a piano falling down on a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor
'
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine? He's fully recovered.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart
You feel stuck to your debt if you can't budge it.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted. Taint yours and it taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large
Those who are too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
Bakers trade bread secrets on a knead to know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.
Marathon runners with bad footwear will suffer the agony of defeet.
Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah's Ark...
Don't miss the boat.
Remember that we are all in the same boat.
Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
Build your future on high ground.
For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
When you're stressed, float a while.
Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.
Two Red Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods.
All of a sudden one of the Red Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave.
'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo!' He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.
The Irishman was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about, 'Was the other Indian crazy or what?'
The Indian replied 'No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there's a beautiful squaw in there waiting for us.'
Just then they came upon another cave.
The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered, 'Wooooo! Wooooo!Wooooo!'
Immediately, there was the answer. 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' from deep inside. He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.
The Irishman wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, 'Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!'
He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might 'Wooooo! Wooooo!Wooooo!' Like the others, he then heard an answering call, 'WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!'
With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave,tearing off his clothes as he ran inside.
The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read................
You'll like this …
NAKED IRISHMAN RUN OVER BY TRAIN!!!
-Author Unknown-
Posted for laughs with grateful thanks to Angela who sent me this joke.
She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She does not GET YOU EXCITED - She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
She is not KINKY - She is a CREATIVE CARETAKER.
She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is MAMMORALLY SUPERIOR.
She is not a TWO BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.
How to speak about a man and be politically correct
He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He has a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
He is not a SEX MACHINE - He is ROMANTICALLY AUTOMATED.
He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.
He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.
He doesn't UNDRESS YOU WITH HIS EYES - He has an INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENT.
-Author Unknown-
10. Fish are friends ... not food. Well, in my case, fish are food too, so maybe this is a lesson I take with a grain of salt—or some herbs and a garlic rub.
9. Always listen to your father; otherwise, he’ll get angry and tear apart your secret room of trinkets with his trident.
8. Cleanliness is next to Godliness—just ask Cinder-elly and her assemblage of aids.
7. Never, ever, go out into a clearing during hunting season. Especially if you look a little game-y....
6. If you sing about your problems, it usually makes life better.
5. Never judge a book by its cover. Or a desk, or dresser ... or chipped tea-cup. You might find out that cup is, in fact, a little boy.
4. Little towns are rarely also quiet villages.
3. Stay true to your best friends. Even if one of you is a fox, and the other a hound.
2. Never accept apples from strangers. Or any fruit, for that matter. Especially if it’s from a creepy old woman.
1. Eyes are the window to the soul. This is why everyone’s eyes are so big.
Next time you pop open that bottle of red and pop in your favourite character flick, ask yourself, “What has Disney done for me?”
-Author Unknown-
Thanks to TO who sent me this post.
Have a pleasant evening, everyone. Do swing by for the next post. Have had a busy day and will be writing later. Take care!
Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
Procrastinate Now!
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
I'm not a complete idiot - - Some parts are just missing
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes
NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
God must love stupid people; He made so many.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
The trouble with life is there's no background music.
The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
-Author Unknown-
Have a great day!
Now, Therefore THE GENERAL ASSEMBLY proclaims THIS UNIVERSAL DECLARATION OF HUMAN RIGHTS as a common standard of achievement for all peoples and all nations, to the end that every individual and every organ of society, keeping this Declaration constantly in mind, shall strive by teaching and education to promote respect for these rights and freedoms and by progressive measures, national and international, to secure their universal and effective recognition and observance, both among the peoples of Member States themselves and among the peoples of territories under their jurisdiction.
Article 1
All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights.They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.
Article 2
Everyone is entitled to all the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration, without distinction of any kind, such as race, colour, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status. Furthermore, no distinction shall be made on the basis of the political, jurisdictional or international status of the country or territory to which a person belongs, whether it be independent, trust, non-self-governing or under any other limitation of sovereignty.
Article 3
Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person.
Article 4
No one shall be held in slavery or servitude; slavery and the slave trade shall be prohibited in all their forms.
Article 5
No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.
Article 6
Everyone has the right to recognition everywhere as a person before the law.
Article 7
All are equal before the law and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law. All are entitled to equal protection against any discrimination in violation of this Declaration and against any incitement to such discrimination.
Article 8
Everyone has the right to an effective remedy by the competent national tribunals for acts violating the fundamental rights granted him by the constitution or by law.
Article 9
No one shall be subjected to arbitrary arrest, detention or exile.
Article 10
Everyone is entitled in full equality to a fair and public hearing by an independent and impartial tribunal, in the determination of his rights and obligations and of any criminal charge against him.
Article 11
1. Everyone charged with a penal offence has the right to be presumed innocent until proved guilty according to law in a public trial at which he has had all the guarantees necessary for his defence.
2. No one shall be held guilty of any penal offence on account of any act or omission which did not constitute a penal offence, under national or international law, at the time when it was committed. Nor shall a heavier penalty be imposed than the one that was applicable at the time the penal offence was committed.
Article 12
No one shall be subjected to arbitrary interference with his privacy, family, home or correspondence, nor to attacks upon his honour and reputation. Everyone has the right to the protection of the law against such interference or attacks.
Article 13
1. Everyone has the right to freedom of movement and residence within the borders of each state.
2. Everyone has the right to leave any country, including his own, and to return to his country.
Article 14
1. Everyone has the right to seek and to enjoy in other countries asylum from persecution.
2. This right may not be invoked in the case of prosecutions genuinely arising from non-political crimes or from acts contrary to the purposes and principles of the United Nations.
Article 15
1. Everyone has the right to a nationality.
2. No one shall be arbitrarily deprived of his nationality nor denied the right to change his nationality.
Article 16
1. Men and women of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family. They are entitled to equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution.
2. Marriage shall be entered into only with the free and full consent of the intending spouses.
3. The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State.
Article 17
1. Everyone has the right to own property alone as well as in association with others.
2. No one shall be arbitrarily deprived of his property.
Article 18
Everyone has the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion; this right includes freedom to change his religion or belief, and freedom, either alone or in community with others and in public or private, to manifest his religion or belief in teaching, practice, worship and observance.
Article 19
Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.
Article 20
1. Everyone has the right to freedom of peaceful assembly and association.
2. No one may be compelled to belong to an association.
Article 21
1. Everyone has the right to take part in the government of his country, directly or through freely chosen representatives.
2. Everyone has the right of equal access to public service in his country.
3. The will of the people shall be the basis of the authority of government; this will shall be expressed in periodic and genuine elections which shall be by universal and equal suffrage and shall be held by secret vote or by equivalent free voting procedures.
Article 22
Everyone, as a member of society, has the right to social security and is entitled to realization, through national effort and international co-operation and in accordance with the organization and resources of each State, of the economic, social and cultural rights indispensable for his dignity and the free development of his personality.
Article 23
1. Everyone has the right to work, to free choice of employment, to just and favourable conditions of work and to protection against unemployment.
2. Everyone, without any discrimination, has the right to equal pay for equal work.
3. Everyone who works has the right to just and favourable remuneration ensuring for himself and his family an existence worthy of human dignity, and supplemented, if necessary, by other means of social protection.
4. Everyone has the right to form and to join trade unions for the protection of his interests.
Article 24
Everyone has the right to rest and leisure, including reasonable limitation of working hours and periodic holidays with pay.
Article 25
1. Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family, including food, clothing, housing and medical care and necessary social services, and the right to security in the event of unemployment, sickness, disability, widowhood, old age or other lack of livelihood in circumstances beyond his control.
2. Motherhood and childhood are entitled to special care and assistance. All children, whether born in or out of wedlock, shall enjoy the same social protection.
Article 26
1. Everyone has the right to education. Education shall be free, at least in the elementary and fundamental stages. Elementary education shall be compulsory. Technical and professional education shall be made generally available and higher education shall be equally accessible to all on the basis of merit.
2. Education shall be directed to the full development of the human personality and to the strengthening of respect for human rights and fundamental freedoms. It shall promote understanding, tolerance and friendship among all nations, racial or religious groups, and shall further the activities of the United Nations for the maintenance of peace.
3. Parents have a prior right to choose the kind of education that shall be given to their children.
Article 27
1. Everyone has the right freely to participate in the cultural life of the community, to enjoy the arts and to share in scientific advancement and its benefits.
2. Everyone has the right to the protection of the moral and material interests resulting from any scientific, literary or artistic production of which he is the author.
Article 28
84
Everyone is entitled to a social and international order in which the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration can be fully realized.
Article 29
1. Everyone has duties to the community in which alone the free and full development of his personality is possible.
2. In the exercise of his rights and freedoms, everyone shall be subject only to such limitations as are determined by law solely for the purpose of securing due recognition and respect for the rights and freedoms of others and of meeting the just requirements of morality, public order and the general welfare in a democratic society.
3. These rights and freedoms may in no case be exercised contrary to the purposes and principles of the United Nations.
Article 30
Nothing in this Declaration may be interpreted as implying for any State, group or person any right to engage in any activity or to perform any act aimed at the destruction of any of the rights and freedoms set forth herein.
Taken from HERE.
A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work..
A man usually feels better after a few winks, especially if she winks back.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
If at first you don't succeed ... well, so much for sky diving.
Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
Don't worry about the world ending today... It's already tomorrow in Australia. (unless you're in Australia -- then start worrying)
Character is what you are. Reputation is what people think you are.
Drive carefully It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn't understand two things:
1. WOMEN
2. FRACTIONS
Keep smiling and have a nice day!
The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office.
"What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked the new guy.
"John," the new guy replied.
The manager scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone by his first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is John Darling."
"Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is..."
Thanks to N.K. who sent this to me.
Dave and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in Melbourne, Australia .
One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.
Dave said, 'Man, I wish we had something to drink!'
Jim says, 'Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz.
You wanna try it?'
So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane booze and get completely smashed.
The next morning Dave wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels.
In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects.
Nothing!
Then the phone rings. It's Jim. Jim says, 'Hey, how do you feel this morning?'
Dave says, 'I feel great, how about you?'
Jim says, 'I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?'
Dave says, 'No that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often..'
'Yeah, well there's just one thing.'
'What's that?'
'Have you farted yet?'
'No.'
'Well, DON'T - cause I'm in New Zealand.'
-Author Unknown-
Thanks to Angela who sent me this joke!
Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
There is great need for a sarcasm font.
How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
Was learning cursive really necessary?
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
Bad decisions make good stories.
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
-Author Unknown-
Smile! Have a great evening and do swing by later for the next post! Thanks!
If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."
If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, are they married?, kids?, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
This works great if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company..." You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"
Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my goodness! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.
Say "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends .... would you be my friend?"
If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out GOAT blood? How about HUMAN blood?
After the Telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often can't sell to employees.
Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream, "Oh NO!!!" and then hang up.
Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her HOME phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their HOME numbers you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me, either!" Hang up.
Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.
Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I will listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."
Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up .... louder ... louder...louder...
Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.
-Author Unknown-
Just as there are four seasons in some countries, there are also seasons of our lives which we experience at different times, for different reasons.
Spring
This is the time when we are young and needful of teaching. Our parents teach us in ways that build our character and we slowly begin to understand ourselves. Slowly but surely, we develop our moral ethics and codes.And as we go to school, educators teach us until the more we study, the more we learn in which ability we are stronger.
SummerAfter we graduate and get a job, we get married and raise a family.
Autumn
"A time to pluck up" - Harvest times comes in the Autumn of life. We draw on the resources we have 'planted', just as we harvest the vegetables from our garden to be put up for "another day". In the 'autumn' of our journey down the path of life, and the way we have lived, learned, shared, and have been taught will have a bearing on where we spend eternity after the 'winter' of our lives - and on the rewards which each of us hope we have laid up for eternity.
Winter
Hold on to that which we have learned, give of it freely to others. We have become more aware of our destiny - a time that each of us has to face.
I am in the winter season of my life now and am still learning many lessons about life, myself, people and am thankful for all I have gone through. I am sure you feel the same way...
If you have the time, please watch this beautiful slide presentation THE SEASONS OF LIFE that Freddie sent to me today. Exquisitely beautiful and touched me deeply. May it touch you too.
Take care and may the Almighty bless you and yours always.
During the "anyone caught smoking or tampering with a smoke detector in the lavatory will be prosecuted...." spiel, a creative Southwest Airlines attendant added., "Said individual will also be treated to a private screening of "Gone With the Wind.......from the wing"
On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
"Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child pick your favorite.
Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."
"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
"Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop down from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children ... or other adults acting like children."
"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Delta Airlines is please to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"
Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault... it was the asphalt!"
Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way thought thewreckage to the terminal."
Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of US Airways."
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax ... OH, MY GOD!"
Silence followed and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was speaking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in coach said, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"
-Author Unknown-
Posted for the sake of HUMOR with no intention to offend anyone.
Here's something different that Freddie just sent to me. As always...a picture paints a thousand words....
Have a lovely Friday evening!
Whole eggs contain more essential vitamins and minerals per calorie than virtually any other food. They're also one of the best sources of choline, a substance your body requires to break down fat for energy. In addition, eggs provide lutein and zeaxanthin, antioxidants that help prevent macular degeneration and cataracts.
They may even be the perfect diet food: Saint Louis University scientists found that people who had eggs as part of their breakfast ate fewer calories the rest of the day than those who ate bagels instead. Even though both breakfasts contained the same number of calories, the egg eaters consumed 264 fewer calories for the entire day.
However, you've probably been told at one time or another to avoid eggs because they're high in cholesterol and fat. This is the same thinking that led to low-fat diets - and a mindset that has probably made us a lot fatter over the past decade. It's simply a leftover recommendation from the low-fat legacy that was never forgotten.
In a recent review of dozens of scientific studies, Wake Forest University researchers found no connection between egg consumption and heart disease.
The benefits derived from taking eggs are:
1. Eggs and milk are among the best foods for the body especially to a growing child.
2. Eggs do not cause an elevation of blood cholesterol
3. Eggs do not clog up the coronary vessels as once thought. In fact the opposite is now true
4. Eggs are low in energy value, and is a factor to consider in the formulation of a caloric-restriction diet
5. Eggs protein quality is extremely high, and has a very high nitrogen-retention value. Hence it is extremely useful in post-surgical care, trauma, and in post-management of hypovolemic shock against negative nitrogen balance
6. Eggs contain vitamin D in its natural form. The benefits of vitamin D require several chapters on human nutrition in medicine to discuss.
7. Eggs are cancer-protective, especially for breast cancer
8. Eggs are very rich in sulfur-containing amino acids methionine which is a very crucial amino-acid in blocking damaging free radicals. These are directly linked to the pathogenesis of heart disease, cancers, all degenerative disorders, and accelerated aging.
9. Eggs protect against fatty liver, slow growth, macular degeneration (degeneration of the macula area of the retina in the eyes. This is responsible for central vision for reading, face recognition and detailed vision), edema (water retention), and various skin lesions
10. Eggs promote healthy growth of nails, hair and skin
11. Eggs are rich in tryphophan, selenium, iodine, and riboflavin (vitamin B2)
12. Eggs selenium content is cardio-protective against Keshan disease, cardiomyopathies (diseases involving the heart muscles, cardiomegaly (enlarged heart), myocardial dysfunction (poor heart function) and death from heart failure.
13. Eggs are protective against Kashin-Beck disease (osteoarthropathy), myxedematous endemic cretinism (mental retardation)
14. The list goes on…on!
An egg a day will do you good in the long run.
-Author Unknown-
Have an eggsellent day! Thanks to Angela who sent me this information!
They say a picture speaks a thousand words so here goes....
Thanks to TO who sent me this illustration. Have a restful evening!
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:
Dear Mrs. Harris,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
9.. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least:
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
If you don't send this to 12 of your dearest friends, you will be depriving them of some good humor.
-Author Unknown-
This is an oldie which has made its rounds in the net and I could have posted this before but I cannot remember when. Anyway, I am posting it again for the sake of humor and with grateful thanks to Angela who sent this to me recently. Have a pleasant evening.
In the 1970's, dating was a simple event where the couple could just go to the movies, fishing, walks in the park, cycling etc. However, the times they are a-changing and one may not know what the future holds for those who are keen on going for a date ...Take a look at the following illustration that T.O sent to me...Let's hope we do not face such a scenario! Take care and have a lovely day!
1. Teaching Maths In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100..His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
Your assignment: What is his profit?
2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 80% of the price.
Your assignment: What is his profit?
3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80.
Your assignment: How much was his profit?
4. Teaching Maths In 2000
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Maths In 2005
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habit of animals or the preservation of our woodlands.
Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the
logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.
6. Teaching Maths In 2009
A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the
felling licence.
He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach of Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut something. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal. His DNA is sampled and his details circulated throughout all
government agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target.
When he is released he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he is in jail again the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash.
They also have a BBQ of squirrel and pheasant and leave behind several
tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting.
The forester on release is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government contractor.
Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20 profit by hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life?
7. Teaching Maths In 2010
A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a derivative of securitised debt related to sub- prime mortgages in Alabama and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest losses.
The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry - however, as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it.
Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the governments expense.
Following their holiday back home they return to the UK with different names and fresh girls and start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration fees as a gang master.
The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonuses are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the difference on expenses and allowances.
You do the maths.
-Author Unknown-
Thanks to TO who sent me this article. have a restful evening, everyone!
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.
'Is there anything breakable in here?' asked the postal clerk.
'Only the Ten Commandments,' answered the lady.
========
'Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world.
There are those who wake up in the morning and say,
'Good morning, Lord,'
and there are those who wake up in the morning and say,
'Good Lord, it's morning.'
========
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: 'I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses.'
When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note: 'I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation.'
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There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: 'I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets.'
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A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, 'Boys and girls, what do we know about God?'
A hand shot up in the air. 'He is an artist!' said the kindergarten boy.
'Really? How do you know?' the teacher asked.
'You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven... '
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A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.
Reverend,' said the young man, 'I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip.'
The minister chuckled, 'I know what you mean. It's the same in my business.'
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People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center of attention.
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A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, 'I know what the Bible means!'
His father smiled and replied, 'What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?'
The son replied, 'I do know!'
'Okay,' said his father. 'What does the Bible mean?'
'That's easy, Daddy.'The young boy replied excitedly, 'It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.''
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Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about.
The daughter answered, 'Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt.'
Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about. He said 'Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming.'
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VATICAN HUMOR
After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.
'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'
'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'They never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.'
'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
'Who's going to tell?' says the Pope with a smile?
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kph. (Remember, the Pope is German.)
'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph.
'So bust him,' says the Chief.
'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed,' All the more reason!'
'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence.
The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: 'A senator?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: 'The Prime Minister?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Well,' said the Chief, 'Who is it?'
Cop: 'I think it's God!'
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?'
Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'
========
Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk!
*Thanks to Angela who sent me this list of jokes. I may have posted this ages ago because they all sound vaguely familiar. Still, these oldies are goodies and I hope they have made you smile a lot!
Is it possible that up to Malaysians/readers have the technological expertise to manipulate an online poll conducted by an established MSM? Or is it possible that hundreds of thousands of Malaysians took part in that online poll to express their sentiments? Is it not possible that more would take part in the polls than in the actual rally?
According to THIS ARTICLE:
In less than a day, it drew more than a million responses which caused the team to suspect that the results were being manipulated. The Star Online polls attract an average of not more than 30,000 responses over several days.
Furthermore, the total number of unique visitors to The Star Online is about 400,000 per day, lending further credence to our suspicion that there was manipulation afoot.
This could be done in several ways, for example through scripted routines or "bots" that come in to a site to perform the same task over multiple repetitions. Indeed, an initial examination of our site logs showed about one million submissions to the poll page from just one IP address.
If that is so, perhaps The Star should clarify a few issues:
1. Why didn't The Star support this allegation with a screenshot of their site logs to show how ONE MILLION SUBMISSIONS to the poll came from just one IP address? Disclose that IP address and let us see for ourselves the location of that IP to confirm if it is indeed from Malaysia. It can be easily checked via IP trackers such as THIS ONE.
2. Has The Star reported to the Malaysian Communications and Multimedia Commission (MCMC) HERE to report the alleged attack? Then, perhaps they can let us know what are the investigations being carried out and subsequent findings of the investigations and if the alleged attacker/manipulator has been found.
3. The Star's report seems to be contradictory in some areas.
While it says that "the total number of unique visitors to The Star Online is about 400,000 per day", it also said that the one million submissions to the Bersih poll was from ONE IP address.
Is it not possible that a large majority of those 400 000 visitors to The Star Online site voted?
Based on the claim by The Star that one million hits came from ONE IP ADDRESS, does it not imply that NONE OF THE 400 000 daily visitors did not vote? How then can it be possible that such a thing happened?
Did The Star ever think that it is highly possible that TO EXPRESS THEIR SENTIMENTS, MORE MALAYSIANS logged in to TAKE THE POLL? Much to my regret, I did not take part in that poll as I only participate in polls run by Malaysian Digest.
If they have a site log, it should show the IP addresses of those 400 000 visitors and also the activity that each visitor did in the site, including whether they voted!
And if so, why hasn't The Star substantiated their claim with SOLID EVIDENCE instead of mere words?
4. Take a look at The Malaysian Digest poll available HERE.
Once a person has voted, it says:
Should Bersih 2.0 rally be held despite warnings against it by numerous parties?
Yes - 87.1%
No - 12.9%
You have already voted. Only one vote each 24 hours is allowed.
Tell me - if Malaysian Digest can install such security features to avoid spamming by bots, did the Star do the same? If not, WHY?
Tell us the truth please WITH SOLID EVIDENCE, DATA etc.
Otherwise, it is a case of Manipulation? Really meh? Show us the evidence.
MODERN MATHEMATICS PAPER 2010
DRAFT HIGHER GRADE MODERN MATHEMATICS PAPER 2010
HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL
GLASGOW REGION
Name..........................................
Nickname......................................
Gang Name...................................
1. Shuggie has bought half a kilo of coca*** for large. He wants to make 300% on the deal and still pay Mad Malky his 10% protection money.
How much must he charge for a gram?
2 Wee Davie reckons he'll get £42.50 extra Marriage Allowance a week if he ties the knot with Fat Alice. Even if he steals the ring, the wedding will cost him £587. And he'll have to start buying two fish suppers at £3.95 each every night instead of one.
How long will it be before Davie wishes he'd stayed single?
3. When Rangers play Celtic, their fans sing The Sash every 10 minutes when they're winning and every 15 minutes when they're losing.
How many times did they sing it at last season's Cup Final?
4. Joey and Davie stole a 1999 green Toyota 1600GL with 35,000 on the clock - and got a grand for it.
How much more would they have got if it had been metallic silver, done 29,000 miles and had low profile tyres?
5 Jake the Flake and Fingers got grassed up for dealing speed. The Flake got 18 months but Fingers got 3 years.
How many more previous convictions did Fingers have?
EXTRA CREDIT : Who was Fingers' Brief?
EDINBURGH / BORDERS REGION
Name.........................................
Rugby Club..................................
Daddy's Company........................
1. Gavin has a spare ticket for Julian Clary at The Festival Fringe. But Benji and Adrian BOTH want to go with him.
How long does he cry before giving them the tickets?
2. Half of Peter's friends say that they went to school with Ewan McGregor. Another third say they were Gordon Brown's flat mate at University. A sixth say that their dad played rugby with Tony Blair's dad and the rest say Sean Connery was their milkman.
Only one is telling the truth, so how many friends does Peter have?
3. Todd wants to be a lawyer, but is as thick as Edinburgh Castle . His daddy is a Freemason and a QC.
How long before Todd becomes the Lord Advocate?
4. Tamsin's Personal Trainer charges £250 a week, but has sex with her whenever she wants it. Jasmin's Life Coach charges £50 a week but has refused all sexual advances.
Which one of the women weighs 19 stone?
5. Princes Street is 2467 yards long. On average, there is someone begging for money every 195 yards. You walk at 3.1 miles an hour.
How long will it take if you tell them all to sod off and work for a living?
HIGHLANDS REGION
Name..................................
Glen.....................................
Clan ................................
1. After Hector's death, Archie has to pay Death Duty on Glenbogle. With 25,000 acres, Archie must pay £1.76 for the first 15,000 acres and 90p per acre for the remainder, including VAT.
How many people actually give a toss?
2. An Afro-American called Zachary Obisanjo Kokobobo asks a Tartan Shop in Inverness if he has any Scottish Genealogy.
How long does it take to flog him full Highland dress and matching kilts for his wife and 10 kids?
3 If an Aberdeen supporter laid every sheep in Grampian Region end to end, how many people would be surprised?
4. If you caught a Loch Ness Monster 115 feet long and each foot weighed 27lbs, how much money would you make by selling your exclusive story and pictures?
Sorry, question 5 has been delayed by heavy snowfall and will be here as soon as the Cockbridge-Tomintoul road re-opens in the autumn.
:-)
-Author Unknown-
Thanks to T.O. who sent me this post. Have a nice day, everyone!
One day my Grandma was out, and my Grandpa was in charge of me.
I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys.
Grandpa was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Grandma came home.
My Grandpa made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' Grandma waited, and sure enough, here I came down the hall with a cup of tea for Grandpa, and she watched him drink it up.
Then she said, (as only a Grandma would know), "'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"
IF YOU SEND THIS ON, YOU CAN MAKE ANOTHER GRANDPARENT, AND MAYBE A FUTURE GRANDPARENT, SMILE.
-Author Unknown-
*Thanks to Angela who sent me this post.
The story of this six-year-old boy from Alabama is unbelievable. Gabe Marsh was born with birth defects. He had no legs and only one arm. He was lucky to be adopted by Marshes family, who accepted over 60 children with "special needs".
One thing Ann and Ed Marshes doubted about was the ability of Gabe to swim, as most kids who had been through their home were members of the Guntersville swim team. It took Ann by surprise to see Gabe swimming last summer. Since then he has managed to improve his results, and he now swims for the Guntersville swim team.
-Author Unknown-
You can see more images of Gabe AT THIS LINK.
Indeed, nothing is impossible if one has faith, hope, perseverance, love and all the support and encouragement that one can get to realize one's dreams.
Thanks to T.O. who sent me this information. Have a nice day!
Please note that my feed in Feedburner and on blog rolls are not being updated. I have no idea why and hope that it can be resolved soon. So do swing by to check for the latest posts. Thanks!
