masterwordsmith-unplugged

Dear Noah,
I finally landed in New York. Knew I should never have undertaken that second journey.
Signed, The Dove

Dear UN,
Please find attached my unbeatable formula for peace. No charge.
Signed, John LeMorte, President, Undertakers Guild

Dear Christchurch,
Sorry, you built in the wrong place, the wrong time. I was here first.
Signed, the Pacific Fault Line

Dear Mr. Bush,
We all knew you couldn’t spell.
Signed, The weapons of Ms Destruction.

Dear skin,
Thanks for the pheromones.
Signed, Mosquitoes

Dear Rapper,
Crappa Nuppa this Pappa Throwuppa.
Signed,
The English Language

Dear Facebook,
Yes, I’m 90% below the surface too.
Signed, Icebergs

Dear Photon,
Thanks for showing me the light,
Signed, the brain

Dear Winner,
I may represent your success, but remember, I’m a success in my own right. Always nominated as The Statue of Choice. I deserve RESPECT!
Signed, Oscar

Dear Albert,
Your formula is correct. Excuses = Mindless Connivance squared.
Signed, Barak

Dear Walruses,
Thought we’d better let you know that we are adopting your image for our new corporate logo, as we needed something gentle and informative. It was the teeth that did it for us. We both have them long and sharp.
Signed, Dracula Inc.

Dear Professor Smallmind,
A student of yours has sent me a question from your recent exam paper: ‘The question is, to be or not to be. That is the question.’ Discuss. I have been plagiarized, misquoted and trashed over the centuries, but no one has had the temerity to try to top me. The green eyed monster that doth mock the meat it feeds on is still alive, I see – and sweet revenge grows harsh!
Signed, William S

Dear Pooches everywhere,
Lost your sense of smell? Dependant on humans? Overfed and made to feel worthless? We can help. Leave a message on the nearest lamp post,
Signed, Real Dogs Recovery Program

Dear Pythagoras,
Do you realise how disheartening it is living next to a couple of right squares? They keep calling me ‘slope’ or ‘slide’, even ‘slippery’. I’m going to square up to them one day and tell them I’m their equal.
Signed, the hypotenuse.

Dear Teens,
So, you twitter? You live in a nest and eat worms? Watch out for hawks? Crumbs are a luxury? Stop encroaching on our territory!
Signed, The Birds

Hey Albert,
I don’t care where you are in your space time thingy, an apple still hurts when it falls on your head.
Signed, Isaac

Dear Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel, and Sleeping Beauty,
Get real, all you ever wanted was a roll in the fantasy hay, and I gave it to you. Some stud, Hey?
Signed, Prince Charming

Dear Gardener,
Imagine, if you will, how you would feel if you had been brought up on the wrong side of the tracks. Then you’d have some appreciation of our plight.
Signed, The Weeds

Dear Forehead,
Yes, I’ll keep falling on you, but existential is not my style.
Signed, Raindrops

Dear Clint,
Talk to us all you want, but we won’t listen. We only understand rustle.
Signed, The Trees

Dear Computer,
Just because I thump the table and scream at you doesn’t mean I don’t love and respect you. And you really are the only computer in the world for me. I love you, baby.
Signed, Me

Dear Schrodinger,
The cat is not in the box, you idiot, it’s in the hat.
Signed, Suess

Dear Cream,
Please, get on with it. You know I’m nothing without you.
Signed, Strawberries

Dear Human,
Take a zero, add a decimal point and a million trillion zeros, and you are still microscopic in the scheme of things. But even then, I guess you might matter.
Signed, The Universe

Dear Nose,
We have perfume so we can procreate, but if it brings pleasure to you, be our guest.
Signed, Flowers

Dear One,
You are only as important as you think you are.
Signed, your Ego.

Dear Appaloosas,
Flighty, fancy, fastidious. That’s you. Dependable, determined, decisive. That’s us.
Signed, Mr. Ed Equus,
President, Clydesdale society International.

Dear Reader,
Thanks for your enjoyment.
Signed, The Smile

-Author Unknown-

Ever since I hit the big five, I have been fighting the middle age spread which is still spreading. :-( However, TO sent me an article which cheered me up greatly! For once, I am glad I'm not slim...(*sour grapes haha*)

According to THIS ARTICLE:

Wallis Simpson, the Duchess of Windsor, was at best only half-right when she said: ‘You can never be too rich or too thin.’

In fact, being too thin can be seriously unhealthy.

Scientists revealed last week they’d discovered a ‘lean gene’ that puts thin men in danger of developing diabetes.

This is just the latest piece in a growing body of evidence that shows how being skinny can expose people to a range of serious problems.

These include a raised risk of miscarriage, lung disease, male infertility and even death in car accidents.
So what counts as underweight?

Officially, it means a body mass index, or BMI, below 18.5. (Your BMI is your weight in kilos divided by your height in metres squared.)


CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST OF THIS INTERESTING ENTRY!

Indeed, what are words if we do not mean them? Are they just masks that we wear to hide our faces or hearts?

Today, I shared my blog post on ONE TO TOUCH YOU with one of my students who was touched and then insisted that I watched Chris Medina's music video on "WHAT ARE WORDS?"

I did and I must admit I am deeply touched not just by his voice or music but the emotions and love behind the writing of this song, his life and all that he is going through at this point of time. Most importantly, I am touched by his devoted love and commitment to the love of his life - that during the worst times, he is standing by her.

Those of you who follow the American Idol (I don't) would be aware that Chris Medina did not make it for the finals. Still, look at the way he has evolved and making waves in the music scene all because he is a sincere young man singing from his heart.

According to THIS SITE:

The achingly beautiful song reminds us a bit of James Blunt. The song features spare instrumentation, but it’s Medina’s big voice that takes center stage. This ballad will definitely have you wondering why he didn’t make the cut.


His words (“I would never leave / When she needs me most / What are words / If you really don’t mean them when you say them / What are words / If they are only for good times”) are a direct reference to staying by his fiancée Juliana Ramos’ side. She suffered brain damage from a car wreck two months before they were to be married. Knowing this back story, the song resonates and strikes even more of an emotional chord.


Medina performs the song this evening on ‘The Tonight Show With Jay Leno,’ proving that you don’t need to be a finalist on ‘Idol,’ much less the winner, to capture America’s heart.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO CHRIS MEDINA SINGING WHAT ARE WORDS?


CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO CHRIS MEDINA'S STORY OF HIS LIFE.  LOVE NEVER FAILS. LOVE ENDURES!!

Take care and may love surround you and yours always.

The Italian says, "Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with the finest olive oil, then we made passionate love and I made her scream non-stop for five minutes."

The Frenchman says, "Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with special aphrodisiac oil, and then we made passionate love. I made her scream for fifteen minutes straight."

The German says, "That's nothing. Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with a special butter. I caressed her entire body with the butter, and then made love and I made her scream for two long hours."

The Italian and Frenchman, astonished, asked, "Two hours, phenomenal! How did you do it to make her scream for two hours?" ...

The German said, "I wiped my hands on the curtains."

-Author Unknown- 

Posted for laughs with no intention to offend anyone. Thanks to Angela who sent me this joke.

Here's a very good story to boost your mood. Thanks to Angela who sent me this post.

As we all know, an Atheist is a person who denies or disbelieves the existence of a supreme being or beings (GOD)

Go ahead and read

ATHEIST IN THE WOODS

An atheist was walking through the woods.

'What majestic trees!'

'What powerful rivers!'

'What beautiful animals!'

He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.

He tripped & fell on the ground.

He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant moment, the Atheist cried out,'Oh my God!'

Time stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.

'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.'

'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?'

'Am I to count you as a believer?'

The atheist looked directly into the light, and said: 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?'

'Very well', said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from Thy bounty, Amen.'

*Posted for laughs. Have a nice day!

The girl knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."

"What is it, child?"

"Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am."

The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, "My dear, I have good news. That isn't a sin... it's simply a mistake."

__________________________________


Ben, Pete and Nick went to a car race one day. Unfortunately, a race car crashed through the fence into the spectators and they were killed.

Being good God-fearing men, they ascended to Heaven where they where met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. He said, "Welcome to Heaven, gentlemen. I'm sure you'll be quite comfortable here, but I must warn you that we do have our rules in Heaven. If you break them, you'll be punished.

One rule is, never step on a duck. If you step on a duck, the duck quacks, then they all quack, and it just goes on and on."

That sounded simple enough. They passed through the Pearly Gates and were surprised to find there were ducks everywhere! In no time at all, Ben stepped on one. The duck quacked, then they all quacked, they made a terrible racket and it just went on and on.

Pretty soon along came St. Peter with a terribly homely woman in tow. "I warned you that if you broke the duck rule you'd be punished." He chained the homely woman to Ben and said, "You will
e together forever," and walked away.

Sometime later, despite his best efforts, Pete accidentally stepped on a duck. The duck quacked, then they all quacked and made a terrible commotion that just went on and on.

Sure enough, along came St. Peter with an even homelier woman. "I warned you that if you broke the duck rule you'd be punished." With that, he chained the woman to Pete and said, "The two of you will be together for all eternity," and walked away.

Well, Nick was very careful not to step on a duck. One day St. Peter came along with a drop dead gorgeous blonde. He chained her to Nick and said, "You will be together now and forever more," and walked away.

Nick exclaimed, "Wow, I wonder what I did to deserve this?"

"I don't know about you," said the beautiful woman, "but I stepped on a duck..."