masterwordsmith-unplugged

Back in university, I had a terrific Social Psychology lecturer who stirred my interest in Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development. Looking back, I smile as I realize how true is his psychoanalytical theory. I am no in Stage 7 and am taking stock of my life to prepare for stage 8 and realize, more than ever before, how little things matter after all.....To understand what I mean, do take a look at the following explanation of his theory at Wikipedia.





When I was a teenager, I dreamt of finding the “perfect” partner, the ultimate job, the “dream” home or wedding and living life to the fullest. Little things didn’t matter much as I thought they were unnecessary distractions that I treated as accidentals which I either ignored or considered much later. Older and wiser, I can see how deeply I was affected by the mass media and music. I was always waiting for the sweeping climax that would bring a resolution to a particular problem, my knight-in shining armour riding on a white horse to whisk me to a brand new life. In short, I got married a day before I turned 23, six months after I graduated. I was young and eager to fit together the largest pieces of the puzzle of life or so I thought, foolishly believing that little things in life didn’t matter - little things such as health.



Now that I am in my late forties, I have a different perspective as though someone has given me a brain/eye transplant. Little things in life DO matter after all. Every little stroke makes a difference in the landscape painting of my life. What I eat, whether I exercise, my parents' medical history, my mental state, my lifestyle etc all matter and these are factors which I seldom considered when I made major decisions in my life. Whereas in the past, I stayed focused on the big picture, the grand payoff at the end of my life, now, I consider how the little things in life make a big difference to my life and how it ends.

These days, when I meet my friends or relatives, we seldom ever talk about investments or movies or music anymore but we compare blood pressure readings and the findings of our latest medical report, the latest discoveries, new breakthroughs in treatment/exercise, deaths, illnesses and so on. A far cry from the good ol' days indeed.

Then there are other days when I wonder whether my perspective keeps shifting from macro view to micro and back again, or whether it grows more refined as the days go by. I honestly do not know how and when the changes occur.



Looking at Erikson's theory, I ask myself whether the big things cease to matter at a certain stage in life? I guess it makes a big difference if we include a spiritual perspective. I am not a religious person - used to be though. I still have my faith but I have my doubts about institutions and man-made laws. To be honest, I am not a perfect person with the perfect family, social relationships etc. The accomplishment of my dream seems to elude me but on a rainy day like this evening when I’ve got nothing to do, I do feel a big surge of happiness welling up from within me as I look back on the years gone by and the sum of my life experiences reminds that even though I may be an insignificant person in this world, it is how I live, how I keep healthy and how I touch lives that will make the difference....little things do matter after all.