THINGS THAT EVERY GIRLFRIEND SHOULD KNOW - *humor*

Posted by Unknown On Tuesday, October 27, 2009 6 comments
Recently, I had the chance to hang out with some friends to celebrate someone's birthday. It was not easy being the only female there but it was not a problem to the guys cos they said I am not the regular woman having missed the hoopla of being chased by guys as I went steady with my husband at the age of 17! It was a lovely and most educational evening as we talked for over 8 hours non-stop over dinner, dessert, cappuccino, latte and later, teh tarik. Their verdict : women never really know how men think - they think they do but they don't!!! After listening to them for such an extended period of time not forgetting the usual banter here and there plus a discourse on politics, I believe that it is more difficult to understand men than women! Here are some pointers...I have posted some before but it is worth another read. Have a lovely start to the week, dear reader!

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* Don’t make him hold your purse in the mall.
* Despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary in many of the fine bars and fraternities throughout the country, not all men are cretins deserving your contempt.
* Shopping is not fascinating.

* If you REALLY want a nice guy, stop dating good-looking jerks.
* Trying to provoke a large, dangerous-looking felon from across the room is not funny.
* Any attempt by a man to prepare food, no matter how feeble (ie: Microwaving a burrito, fixing Spaghetti, etc) should be met with roughly the same degree of praise a parent might shower upon their infant when it walks for the first time.

* He heard you the first time.
* You know, you can ask him out too. Let’s spread the rejection around a little.
* If you truly want honesty, don’t ask questions you don’t really want the answer to.

* Dogs good. Cats bad.
* “Fine." is not an acceptable way to end an argument.
* Do not question a man’s innate navigational abilities by suggesting he stop for directions.

* He was not looking at that other girl. Well, okay… maybe a little. Okay, so what! He was looking at her. Big deal. Like you’ve never looked at another guy...
* He is the funniest, strongest, best-looking, most successful man you have ever met.
* And all your friends think so too. Especially the cute ones.

* Yes, Sharon Stone/Pamela Anderson/Cindy Crawford is prettier than you. Just like Brad Pitt/Antonio Banderas/Keanu Reeves is better looking than him. But since neither one of you is going to be dating any of these people, love the one you’re with.
* Of course size matters, and boy does he have the grandaddy of them all.
* He does not just want to be friends.

* Don’t demand a precise time when he’ll call.
* Nagging is not sexy.
* If you’re always right, stop asking his opinion.

* Two words: turn signal.
* An “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” is not an acceptable answer to every question.
* Televised sports are more important than stories about your friends.

* Despite what you think, sometimes he is happier left alone.
* “No" means no, and “Yes” means yes. Silence means he can’t get a word in edgewise.
* Unlike you, he essentially want to dress just exactly like all his friends. Thus, you need not go much further than the Gap, J. Crew or the local Patagonia store.

* You probably don’t want to know what he is thinking about.
* Silence does not need to be filled with discussions about “us” and “the relationship”.
* Socks never constitute a gift.

* Department stores and malls were designed so that when you want to look at bed linen, shower curtains or handbags, there are always some speakers, tires or sporting equipment nearby for him to look at.
* He doesn’t know anything about handbags. Don’t even ask.
* He did water the plants. They died anyway. Nobody knows why this happens.

* Curley is the bald one.
* Compromise does not mean that he should abandon his position in favor of yours.
* Sports Illustrated is a better magazine than Cosmopolitan. Just accept that.

* It’s in neither your interest nor his to take the Quiz together.
* Unless you are willing to follow the careers of Mo Vaughn, Cal Ripken, David Robinson, Michael Jordan, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Chris Farley, don’t expect him to know what Helen Gurley Brown, Hilary Clinton, Naomi Wolf or your mother are up to.
* Dinner out is a pretty good birthday present. Two tickets to a ball game are even better.

* No, you can’t have the remote control.
* Sometimes, he’s not thinking about you. Live with it.
* Check your oil.

* Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work.
* Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don’t expect him to like it.
* Don’t cut your hair. Ever.

* Don’t make him guess.
* If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
* He’s never thinking about “The Relationship.”

* Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
* Anything you wear is fine. Really.

Have a nice day!

6 comments to THINGS THAT EVERY GIRLFRIEND SHOULD KNOW - *humor*

  1. says:

    Anonymous Sometimes he cannot perform and hold him and say it is OK
    Sometimes you don't feel like having sex....NEVER TELL HIM!

  1. says:

    Unknown :-) They say the truth always hurts ...and yet, in loving a person, we have to be sensitive to their feelings and ensure we continue to nurture them in more ways than one.

    Thanks for sharing!

  1. says:

    nick Sis, a small insignificant addition...

    Let him have the remote control... you control everything else in his life!

    BTW..."Sayang, can I have the remote control? No? Please?? Pretty please??? Still no? Err..you look ravishing today, did you just dyed your hair brunette? Oh..Last month is it? Still, you look extra gorgeous and now, can I have the remote? Not on your life??? Ok, can I go to the mamak shop for a few minutes, then? I'll be sleeping on the sofa if I do??? Hmm, a tough one! Ok, I'll snuggle up with you and watch this drama on Astro Ria... ( WHO named this channel RIA anyway? All the dramas are damn depressing!)... Nope, I didn't say anything... This drama is soo fascinating!". End.

    P.s- to all the wife, your husband may not say this but life without all of you is like a broken pencil .... POINTLESS! ( stole it from BlackAdder II). Have a nice day Sis. God Bless.

    Hamba.

  1. says:

    Cat-from-Sydney O Wise Master,
    Lucky our Dad didn't subscribe to the "dogs good, cats bad" line. Phew! One of Mama's pick up lines was: are you partial to felines? hehehe...if it's in the negative, bye bye! Guess Dad survived that. purrr....

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Nick,

    Thanks so much for your witty addition. Very Malaysianised context indeed!

    That is the beauty of our better halves - we cannot live without them because they are such an important and complimentary part of our lives :-).

    Take care and have a great day!

  1. says:

    Unknown O Cat-in-Sydney,

    I knew that line would generate a witty response from you hehe!!

    You and your feline family are really incorrigibly cute and adorable!

    Your mama and papa are blessed to have you to brighten their lives.

    Puuurrrfect family!!!

    Take care and have a great day!

    Salam

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