One day a passenger plane on a cross-country trip runs into a terrible storm. The plane gets pounded by rain, hail, wind and lightning. The passengers are screaming. They are sure the plane is going to crash and that they are all going to die.
At the height of the storm, a young woman jumps up and exclaims, "I can't take this anymore! I can't just sit here and die like an animal, strapped into a chair. If I am going to die,let me at least die feeling like a woman. Is there anyone here man enough to make me feel like woman?"
She sees a hand raised at the back of the plane. A muscular man starts to
walk up to her seat. As he approaches her, he takes off his shirt.
She can see the man's muscles even in the poor lighting of the plane. He stands in front of her, shirt in hand and says to her, "I can make you feel like a woman before you die. Are you interested?"
Eagerly, she shakes her head, Yes!
As the man hands her his shirt, he says, "Here. Iron this."
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UNFORGETTABLE QUOTES FROM FAMOUS WOMEN
* I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. - Marie Corelli
* Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths. - Baroness Edith Summerskill
* If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? -Linda Ellerbee
* I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. -Zsa Zsa Gabor
* I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde. - Dolly Parton
* When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler
* Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson
* I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. - Gilda Radner
* In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher
* I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine
marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinhem
* Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Glori
Steinhem
* You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong
* I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. -Rita Rudner
* My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner
* I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman
* Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck
* If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing 'em. - Sue Grafton
* I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. - Roseanne Barr
* I think, therefore I'm single. - Lizz Winstead
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What I Want In A Man, ORIGINAL List
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1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially Successful
4. A Caring Listener
5. Witty
6. In Good Shape
7. Dresses with Style
8. Appreciates the Finer Things
9. Full of Thoughtful Surprises
10. An Imaginative, Romantic Lover
What I Want In A Man, REVISED List
----------------------------------
1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Works steady
4. Doesn't nod off while I'm emoting
5. Usually remembers the punchlines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat lid down
10. Shaves on weekends
HAVE A NICE DAY!!!
4 comments to WHAT YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT WOMEN - jokes
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Unknown Dear Anonymous @ 12.04 pm,
Thanks! I have been told I am not like other women and some say I would have been better had I been born as a man rather than as a woman!
Quips aside, I believe it is important to consider all angles regardless of gender...then we can be liberated not just in such issues, but about life in totality.
Thanks for reading and for taking the trouble to share your thoughts.
Take care and have a good day.
Best wishes,
mws
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Cat-from-Sydney O Wise Master,
I like this one best:
* I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. - Marie Corelli
Woohoo!
Psst...how come your "other" readers politicise everything? Even jokes you posted? Lighten up, people! grrrr......
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Unknown My dear Wise Cat-in-Sydney,
I knew you would like that one...With the jacaranda in full bloom, I am quite certain you are tempted to wander till late at night but you have been well brought up and I am sure you and your friends do not partake in such nocturnal exploits.
:-)
Take care and there are more jokes coming your way...am hunting for jokes on cats!!!
Meeeeeoooowwww
Anonymous You are very liberated to post all these on women; quite unlike those old ladies at MCA vetting the advert on "potong." There should be more women like you accepting appreciation from men admiration of their body curves than the hypocrite religious PAS boys.