SATURDAY MORNING HUMOR

Posted by Unknown On Saturday, April 10, 2010 12 comments
Well, it is Saturday morning and for a change, I thought I'd post something light and easy for us to rest and relax over coffee. Here are some funny one-liners that may bring a smile or two to your face. Do share your thoughts/views in the comment box if you have the time. Thanks! Have a lovely Saturday!



There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count, those who can't and those who modify figures!
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all of its students.
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationship.
Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?
We were born naked, wet and hungry. Then things got worse.
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
What's the speed of dark?
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.

FLOWERS Pictures, Images and PhotosFLOWERS Pictures, Images and PhotosFLOWERS Pictures, Images and Photos

When there's a will, I want to be in it.
When you don't know what you are doing, do it neatly.
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
Who stopped payment on my reality check?
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
You are depriving some poor village of its idiot.
You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!
Your gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Have a lovely day!

12 comments to SATURDAY MORNING HUMOR

  1. says:

    Kampung Girl There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

    Only 2 kinds, sis!

  1. says:

    Ting To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

    Exactly what Ibrahim, Zahrain, Mohsin, Zulkifli, Tan Tee Beng, Chua Soi Lek, Hee Yit Foong & her two hopping frogs from Perak did!

  1. says:

    Anonymous You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

    BN politicians always use this as an excuse to avoid questions!

  1. says:

    Apa Nama G. Palanivel pleaded for another chance to serve the Hulu Selangor voters.

    "Give a second chance, try again. If not satisfied, dump in the next election in 2012."

    Saturday afternoon humor?

  1. says:

    Anonymous What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

    A very good question.

    "The Man Who Died Twice" by Edwin Arlington Robinson is one of the most unforgettable poems I have ever read.

  1. says:

    Penangite Noh Omar's recent racial remarks are proving to be heaven sent for the PKR - the opposition coalition has turned them into fodder for their campaign.

    ~~ Malaysiakini

    Padan muka, Noh.
    You reap what you sow...

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Kampung Girl

    Alamak! I meant to add in ...those who are good at changing figures - and forgot! sign of ageing!

    Thanks for the alert. Was away on vacation and am back again!!! YAY!

    cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Ting

    I believe to be respected, one has to stand firm on high moral ground and not to compromise at all...

    They can justify all they want but seen through tainted glasses, whatever arguments will not hold water.

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anon @ 1.21pm

    Ah - some are masters at mysteries and excuses ...and who knows - there could be enough for a joke book!

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Apa Nama

    Definitely!! We can either laugh or choke from surprise!

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anon @ 5.58pm

    Thanks for that recommendation. I will surely check it out.

    Have a lovely weekend!

    cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Penangite

    From the way things are moving, many do not give much thought to what they say and the long-lasting effects if their words.

    Saddening indeed.

    Take care and have a lovely weekend!

    Cheers

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