The following post was sent to me by Angela. I hope it brings a smile to your face regardless of whether you are in retirement, contemplating retirement or never ever want to retire! Have a nice day!
And they ask---Why Retire? Those of you who have not, can see why we love it!!
Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.
Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.
Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 50% percent discount..
Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.
Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.
Question: What is the common term for someone who continues to work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!
Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.
Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal
Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.
Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer : If you cut classes, no one can call your parents.
Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
Question: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday to Friday; Nothing, Saturday & Sunday I rest.
Share this one with all the retirees that you know. I'm sure they can relate to some of them!
AND, If you have not yet retired, look what you have to look forward to. Happiness is a voyage, not a destination, there is no better time to be happy than.. NOW! Have a nice day!
19 comments to THE RETIREE'S VIEW OF LIFE *humor*
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Catherine Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer : If you cut classes, no one can call your parents.
Well, that reminds me of your saxophone class, hehe!
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Anonymous I read blogs all day long from Mon-Fri. Sat & Sun I read and I blog as well. There is no retirement in one's life if we are mindful of the many needs out there.
"Happiness is a voyage, not a destination and there is no better time to be happy than NOW"! This statement is so profound as we can never wait for the perfect time to be happy. It depends entirely upon an individual whether he/she looks at the situation from the angle of hopelessness or opportunity.
There is no real formula to happiness but there are simple guidelines as follows:
1) Free your heart from hate.
2) Free your mind from worry.
3) Live simple.
4) Give more.
5) Expect less.
The happiest people Do Not necessarily have the BEST things. They simply APPRECIATE the things they have. Let us choose a simpler and smarter way to live,......make what's left, right from today!
~ahoo~
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Unknown Dear Cat-in-Sydney
I knew I could count on you to share a fantastic comment to this post and you certainly did not disappoint :-).
Take care and lots of hugs to you.
Salam
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Unknown Dear Catherine
Haha!! In my case, I contacted two sax teachers...one chickened out cos he is much younger than I am while the other agreed to teach me...Supposed to start on Friday but last Fri was a public holiday so I'll be starting soon! :-) Pity the neighbours LOL!
Cheers
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Unknown Dear ahoo
Wow! What a wonderful active and stimulating life you lead!! Do let me know your blog site as I would love to visit your site.
Thanks for sharing your formala for happiness. Very practical and wise advice.
May you be well and happy always. Happiness can be quite elusive to some but it is the key to a purposeful and fulfilling life!
God bless you always, ahoo!
Shalom
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Anonymous Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 50% percent discount..
You help me, I help you!
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Apa Nama Many of my friends have never ever wanted to retire...
They are actually not workaholic, but rather 'money crazy'!
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Anonymous If one does not look forward to retirement, one could be having too long a train to pull(own self made error) or if one is from the higher echelon, too kinda greedy for more and/or having am inflated attitude of indispensability to society.
If one is unable to enjoy the freedom from the stipulated daily grind, it could also be a sort of personal imbalance. The profound person enjoys his individual freedom to the fullest!
Like Ahoo wrote, there are plenty of stimulation enough in the Net for the thinkers. So much to learn and gain from it. Woe to the unevolved extroverts though, haha!
~wits0~
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Unknown Dear Anon @ 11.16am
Wow! That is sharp thinking on your part! Thanks for making that link :-).
Cheers
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Unknown Dear Apa Nama
I believe they caught the bug from the higher-ups in our society!
Take care and have a blessed life!
Cheers
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Unknown Dear ~wits0~
Many thanks for your wise response to my post and the gentle alert to what might happen if one were to completely retire mentally :-)..
I always believe that we stop learning the day we expire :-).
Take care and may each day of your life bring you wonderful new learning experiences.
Cheers
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Anonymous Thousand apologies! Monday morning blue leh. Aiyah, with the speed of snail for our internet connection, where got so much time to surf from one end to the other ?
The comment as below was suppose to be a tongue-in-cheek response for the retirees to read blogs and have a funfill day but overshot lah.
"I read blogs all day long from Mon-Fri. Sat & Sun I read and I blog as well."
But I do enjoy every moment of bringing cheers to the poor and needy. More so for the people of the jungle,... the true sons of the Malaysia soil.
~ahoo~
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Unknown Dear ahoo
No worries! Thanks for constantly inspiring us with you elegant and wise comments. Take care and please keep in touch! God bless you always.
Shalom
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Anonymous All your answers are wrong as far as the-yet-to-be-dead-Mahathir is concerned. His definition of retire is this:
R-Renew
E-Energy
T-To
I-Inflame
R-Racist
E-Emotions
That, is his idea of retirement.
StraightTalking
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Anonymous Q:how often do retirees have sex?
A:almost everyday!
well he almost have sex on monday
and he almost have sex on tuesday
and he almost have sex on wednesday
and so on...
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Unknown Dear StraightTalking
Wow! Amazing acronym that rings eerily true! Thanks for sharing.
Cheers
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Unknown Dear Anon @ 1.46pm
Haha! Good illustration :-). Thanks for sharing. Have a great day.
Cheers
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Anonymous In my office, my boss ask an Engineer how long he nees to fix a problem. The Engineer estimate 5 days (which is normal to everybody). The boss boomed, "You belong to the old folk's home!" Finish it in 1 day or you are out!.
Being an Engineer myself, what happen if even all the Engineers brain put together could still not find a solution to fix it?
Cat-from-Sydney Question: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday to Friday; Nothing, Saturday & Sunday I rest.
This can describe a cat too. har har har evil laughs*