My friend Freddie sent me this list of exam questions from an American exam for 16 year olds (General Educational Development test) which were set in last year's GED examination. These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed. :-) Have a good laugh and a great start for the day! Cheers :-)
Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)
Q.. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death
Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (wtf!)
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby
Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)
Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)
Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas
Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
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14 comments to FUNNY ANSWERS TO SERIOUS QUESTIONS
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Anonymous It may be just as bad or even worse if we were to post it to our students of similar age.
Q. Name the four seasons :
A. Dawn, Morning, Noon and Night.
A. Child, Youth, Adult and Oldman.
A. Cute Baby, Young Girl, Sweet Teens and Wow,..... men.
A. Single, Married, Pre menopause And Post menopause, hahaha!
On a more serioue note, why we are placed in a mono season land with occassional rain ? Imagine living in places with extreme cold weather
-30 to -40 degree. Woner how many of us will survive such a condition, ya.
Thus, we need to count our blessings one by one and whatever that is not right with the current govt, let us be determined to make it right by changing it to a more balance one. Register to vote wisely.
~ahoo~
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Anonymous I haven't laughed so much for a long time now. Real or faked, this one is simply outrageous!!!!
StraightTalking
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Unknown Dear Nick
Hey I've missed your comments. Great to hear from you again! Hope all is well with you...
Thanks so much for your trademark humor :-) which is really sooooooo funny!!
ROTFL!! May I repost this one day???
Thanks so much for sharing! Take care and have a blessed week with you and yours.
Salam
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Unknown Dear Saudara Wan Sharif
LOL!! Glad you like it. Each time when I read it, I still laugh :-p.
Take care and have a pleasant evening!
Salam
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Unknown Dear ahoo
Haha!! Actually you are right.I have been asked to write a book of anecdotes based on my teaching experiences and you cannot imagine the funny experiences I have gone through hehe..
Thanks for sharing those jokes and points. Time is certainly running out and we have to mobilize as many voters as possible.
Take care and let's stand in the gap to pray for Malaysia.
Shalom
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Unknown Dear StraightTalking
Hehe! Glad you like this post! Take care and keep smiling!!
Cheers
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Unknown Dear Tiger
:-p Glad you enjoyed this list hehe! Take care and have a pleasant evening.
Cheers
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PeedMyselfLOL Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
shouldn't it be
A. When the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull?
unless you are referring to the saifoology of sexual orientations!
and thank you for the stomach cramps i suffered from laughing so much!
have a nice evening
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Unknown Dear PeedMyselfLOL
Thank you so much for not suing me wrt the ahem accident you had while reading this post LOL as can be seen by your nickname haha!!
Yes, you are right...it was an allusion to the famous drama and you picked it out!!
Well done LOL!! You get A*
Thanks for stopping by to spread some cheer!
Have a lovely evening! Do keep in touch.
Cheers
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nick Hi Sis,
Sorry didn't get back to you sooner. As always, my comment is yours to do as you pleased, Sis (BTW I'm quite proud with the Artificial insemination part...it is so true to life I think).
My apology for not commenting much Sis but sometime it feels that I'm repeating myself over and over again (actually not my and the Malaysian people's fault when "Our" gomen and "leaders" keep on doing disgusting and despicable thing). And sometime even TDM's comment re the blogger ethics (even though it is my great hobby of blasting him to pieces) did not really merit any comment from us cos as we all know he and all UMNO leaders are hypocrite of the highest order. So what ever comes from his mouth I treat it with contempt.
Hope you will forgive me for being stingy with my comment Sis....
Have a great day Sis and GOD bless.
Nick.
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Unknown Dear Nick
I fully understand how you feel. I also feel the same way. Sometimes I get so fed up and don't know what to blog about any more but continue to highlight issues even though often times, they are the same problems only at a greater intensity!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and humor. You have been a tremendous blessing to me and to my blog and I want you to know that you know you are a treasured friend.
Take care and have a blessed weekend.
nick Sis,
Funny Answers to serious question and my take on those questions with generous sprinkling of 1Malaysia warped perception.
Q- Name the four seasons.
A (1Malaysia political toads answer)- I no longer believe PR can make me a millionaire,
The opposition is bankrupt and unable to bring me cash development, I’m the most
popular man in Kulim and PAS hates my baldness and my kopiah (skull cap) and lastly, BUMNO is the most righteous partying animal..err.. political party in Malaysia.
What??? 4 Seasons??? NOT reasons for defecting to UMNO??? Oh..My bad!
Q- Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A (1Malaysia Ex Doktor gigi and exMB’s answer) – By flirting and (using your fertile imagination) with the female interpreter supplied by the crony water treatment company, water concession is given to cronies dirt cheap and on top of that all the documents regarding this deal are marked “confidential and top secret” under the OSA. Therefore the water deal is now SAFE! Anymore question??? Want me to explain about the sand next?.
Q- How is dew formed?
A (1Malaysia transport minister answer)- Dew payment to KDSB is the responsibility of KPA and furthermore we already lost billions! So what’s 225 million more, I say!
Q- What causes the tides in the ocean?
A (1Malaysia Frog King answer)- The tides are caused by our newly commissioned Unsubmarine making it’s way patrolling the Blue ocean. BTW I wonder when will the
Blue Sea book be published?
Q- What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A (1Malaysia BUMNO warlord answer) With our connection with no 1 man in the country, we can have unlimited loans without any guarantee and if a mortgage or a bank wants a guarantee, we will ask the Finance minister to revoke their license? So…ada berani ka????
Q- In a democratic country, how important are elections?
A (1Malaysia ex Information minister answer) Every 5 years Malaysia have erection,
So it is very important for a democratic country to have erection. Is this live TV???
How my face??? Not too much white foundation ka?
Q- What are steroids?
A (1Malaysia Ex Doktor gigi and Ex MB answer) steroids are chemicals that keep my face young and shiny. Psstt…. Is Botox a steroid? Call the Miami doctor,now!
Q- What happens to your body as you aged?
A (Malaysia Boleh Ex PM and Old man Grumpus answers) When you get old, so does your vowel, your brains and especially the memories. That’s why I am always
Dribbling, talking nonsense and develop selective amnesia. Do you agree that Avatar is real?
Q- What is artificial insemination?
A (1Malaysia Absolutely Gila answers) When the prosecutors does it to the Si FOOL’s behind and the Si FOOL abstain from going to the toilet hoping to conceive something!
Q- What is the common form of birth control?
A (1malaysia First trolley answer) Look at my body! Do you think I have a need for birth control???
Have you tasted C4 before??? Want to try?
Have a great day and GOD bless Sis.
Nick.