WHO IN THE WORLD UNDERSTANDS MEN?

Posted by Unknown On Friday, July 30, 2010 20 comments
Thanks to Angela who sent me the following post that I am putting up for smiles and not to insult any men! Smile a lot and have a lovely day!

Do you understand men?




It's not so complicated!

The nice men are ugly.

The handsome men are not nice.

The handsome and nice men are gay.

The handsome, nice and straight men are married.

The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.

The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after
their money.

The handsome men without money are after our money.

The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat straight, don't think we are
beautiful enough.

The men who think we are beautiful, that are straight, somewhat nice and have money, are rogues.

The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank
God are straight, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!

The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

NOW, WHO IN THE WORLD UNDERSTANDS MEN?

Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.

No offense to any one reading this! It was posted just for laughs!

Take care and have a lovely day!
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20 comments to WHO IN THE WORLD UNDERSTANDS MEN?

  1. says:
    July 30, 2010 at 7:37 AM

    Captain Obvious Dear masterwordsmith,

    I only understand one thing and that is, ugly man who hits on girls gets hit on the face.

    Cheers!

  1. says:
    July 30, 2010 at 8:46 AM

    Wan Sharif Ouch..not only you stomp on them.. you also have to keep them in the dark

  1. says:
    July 30, 2010 at 8:53 AM

    nick Sis,

    Even men themselves don't understand other men. BTW please have a look at my answers to the question in your post.

    1. Nice men are ugly - not true for AI's PERKERBAU members. They are not nice and ugly too.

    2. Handsome men are not nice - My God, are you implying that all cabinet members are handsome ??? Granted some of them use botox but that doesn't make them handsome!!!!

    3. Handsome and nice men are gay - I think that our Homely minister will take offense on that statement. He is not nearly as nice (I don't want to add further..)

    4. Handsome, straight and nice men are married - NOT according to their wives!!!

    5. Men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money - they DO have money BUT not the amount that a woman consider as "having money"!

    6. Men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think women are only after their money - well, who wouldn't think that, when they know exactly the definition (a woman's definition) of "having money" !

    7. The handsome men without money are after woman's money - unless they are gay. Then they are after another man's money!

    8. Handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat straight don't think that you're beautiful enough - that's just a polite way to say that you don't have any money, right?

    9. Men who thinks you are beautiful,that are straight, somewhat nice and have money, are rogues - If you're talking about the BN backbencher MPs then you are absolutely correct!

    10. Men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank GOD are straight, are shy and WILL NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE - and that's why they are extinct!

    11. Men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest when we take the initiative - of course, an extinct being don't have any interest anymore ...they're DEAD!

    Have a great weekend Sis and GOD bless!


    Nick.

    7.

  1. says:
    July 30, 2010 at 9:01 AM

    zara Exactly. I have this exact newspaper cutting back in '96 and I make 2 copies - one for myself, and one I paste it on the notice board at the lectures hall. No one knew who pin it up. But most people will stop and read and girls, well, they love it.

    Well, I guess it rings a bell. Who in the world understands men? Hehe..No offense guys!

  1. says:
    July 30, 2010 at 9:48 AM

    Tiger Men are from Mars, that's why!

  1. says:
    July 30, 2010 at 10:24 AM

    Stanley Goh Masterwordsmith,
    Are you involved in wine-making or just following the latest local fad of making fruit enzymes, with men as the main ingredients? Anyway if you consider men as grapes, may I venture to ask, "What type of grapes are we?" Grapes Of Wrath??
    Since you are into trying to understand men, please try and help categorise me.
    I think I am handsome from far but actually everyone else says I am far from handsome. How do I fit into the grand scheme of things in relation to the ladies. For your additional information, I am an old grape that has already existed for 56 years.

  1. says:
    July 30, 2010 at 10:40 AM

    johnnie lim Dear Paula,

    ha ha nice one. I like the last one about men being good wine, and to think men does not understand women.!
    anyway here's some to add to your collection.

    Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
    A: Puppies grow up.


    Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?
    A: Because they are...


    Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
    A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.


    Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit the ground first?
    A: Who cares?????.....


    Q: What did God say after he created man?
    A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!


    Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO?
    A: I don't know, I've never seen either.


    Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
    A: i) no mind ii) no business


    Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
    A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink...


    Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
    A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no
    intention of driving.


    Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
    A: Exchange him!!


    Q: Why do men like smart women?
    A: Opposites attract.


    ps: another one from my lady friend

    Signboard outside a prostitute's house:
    Married MEN not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy...

    have a good weekend.

  1. says:
    July 30, 2010 at 10:58 AM

    Anonymous There was this couple back in Scotland that was celebrating their 80's wedding anniversary. The reporters asked the wife, what is the secret to such a marriage ?

    She answered in seven words : Keep him in line all day long.

    They asked the man the same question and he answered that no matter who started the quarrel always end it in two words : yes dear !

    No men can win in a domestic war. Let's live to fight another day, ya. For women are from Venus and for that we as men can't never fully understand them.
    ~ahoo~

  1. says:
    July 30, 2010 at 11:28 AM

    KoSong Cafe I see the problem with the sexes as people with different looks, personalities and wealth (or lack of), trying to match each other. Of course, if one can choose from his or her own criteria, so can the other, and there lies the problem of matching.

    Generally, men has no problem when they could not find a mate, whereas women worry as they age - in terms of beauty and child-bearing ability.

    From woman's viewpoint, they might start off with being very choosy, then reality sets in, and if still unmatched, likely to settle for less! Somehow, the perception seems to be: settle for an average guy (in terms of looks, earnings, wealth and so on), but secretly admiring and fantasizing dishy guys they meet.

    For every perceived rotten guy who commits adultery, he needs a gal to do so. The latter does not seem difficult to persuade to make it possible.

    Sexually, a guy can easily be satiated, but an over-sexed gal can handle many.

    The examples of how easy it is to please a man as compared with how difficult it is to please a women, are well documented in the net. So what is so difficult to understand a man?

    Your list describes practically all types of men, the problem lies in the women who are being choosy. Many believe women has this problem of wanting someone chosen by another woman. For every man hunted by a woman, it is likely to start a competition from another. Otherwise, the man does not seem appealing!

  1. says:
    July 30, 2010 at 7:38 PM

    Unknown Dear Captain Obvious

    :-) That is not really true if the guy is a sweet talker! LOL!

    Cheers

  1. says:
    July 30, 2010 at 7:39 PM

    Unknown Dear Saudara Wan Sharif

    :-) Haha!! Hope you enjoyed this post!

    Salam

  1. says:
    July 30, 2010 at 7:44 PM

    Unknown Dear Nick

    Many thanks for such a detailed and unexpected response to this post :-). I appreciate how you can make allusion so easily to you know who's of this land! You ARE the expert here...weaving humor, wit around painful facts to make it less painful for us as we look smack at reality.

    Take care and have a blessed weekend!

    Salam

  1. says:
    July 30, 2010 at 7:45 PM

    Unknown Dear Zara

    Haha! Glad we love the same things and seasons in life!

    Take care and continue to live life to the fullest.

    Have a blessed weekend and keep smiling.

    Salam

  1. says:
    July 30, 2010 at 7:45 PM

    Unknown Dear Tiger

    And women are from Venus LOL!!

    Cheers

  1. says:
    July 30, 2010 at 7:49 PM

    Unknown Dear Stanley Goh

    Haha!! Thanks for your very witty comment!

    Actually, I still remember my mom was NOT amused when I crushed her grapes to get grape juice and then fermented it in the fridge in a bid to make wine. She was wondering what was the frothy stuff in a jam jar LOL!!!

    Well, men are precious grapes treasured by the people who love them. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder!

    I have seen very beautiful women married to average looking Joe's and Adonis-like hunks married to plain Janes!

    What matters is the love that binds the hearts, that goes beyond appearances.

    Here's wishing you a lifetime of love and happiness always! Keep in touch. If you are from Penang, see you at the Anti-ISA event on Sunday!

    Take care!

    Cheers

  1. says:
    July 30, 2010 at 7:50 PM

    Unknown Dear Johnnie

    Thanks so much for your additional jokes! Brilliant. They go very well with the post haha! Love the last one best!

    Take care and keep smiling. Have a blessed weekend!

    Shalom

  1. says:
    July 30, 2010 at 7:51 PM

    Unknown Dear ahoo

    Ah - Now I know the secret to your happy marriage :-). Thanks a lot for sharing this nugget of wisdom that is simple, practical and so relevant to our lives today.

    Take care and may the Lord continue to bless you and your family always.

    Shalom

  1. says:
    July 30, 2010 at 7:55 PM

    Unknown Dear Kosong Cafe

    Many thanks for that wise response to the post. You have shared so honestly and relevantly to the times that we live in.

    At the same time, I have met some men who (despite their below average looks) still want to marry knockout beauties and think it wrong of the woman to reject them. So while there are some choosy women, there are also choosy men.

    At the end of the day, we all have to find peace and fulfilment in ourselves and learn to accept one another, remembering that we ourselves are imperfect beings.

    Life is not an easy journey to travel but it makes it easier when we can share our experience and learn from each other in such open sharing.

    Thank you for infusing your wisdom in my humble blog. It is always lovely to hear your views.

    Take care and here's wishing you a blessed weekend!

    Cheers

  1. says:
    July 31, 2010 at 12:43 AM

    Anonymous Looks like I'm the only honest bloke...it's true..what they say about men are all true...

    I'm the handsome, nice, and straight man and I'm married...(sigh)


    StraightTalking

  1. says:
    July 31, 2010 at 2:52 AM

    Unknown Dear StarightTalking

    Haha!! God bless you for your honesty! Take care and have a great weekend!

    Cheers

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