Sometimes, things don't happen the way we hope......

Posted by Unknown On Saturday, August 21, 2010 24 comments
When I fall in love, it will be forever....that is what I believed when I was a little girl and still believe as one approaching my sunset years. However, some things are not meant to be for some people. One may have found the man/woman of her dreams and because of shortcomings or circumstances beyond their control, may also lose that person...

Regardless, sentimental me believes that once we fall in love with someone, we never ever stop loving that person for the rest of our lives.

That is why I always tell my older son never to fall in love easily and to be careful when losing his heart to a girl and to only fall in love if he knows for sure she is the one. Impossible for teenagers but you never know....(I started dating my husband when I was 16!!!)

In 2008, I saw a photo of my boy with a university course mate. They are both music majors - my son is majoring in violin and she is a voice major. My sixth sense told me that she is a very good girl and I asked him if he had any interest in her. And he laughed it off for he was with another girl then...

Months later, after he broke up with that girl, he called me and told me that he was with that girl.

Two months ago, they broke up. And my heart broke into a million pieces.

Honestly, I do not know who cried the most - my son or me :-). And I am still crying so much as I write this post.

The reason for the break up was that she was going to Japan for her studies and would be graduating soon. At that time, my boy was busy with his band and did not spend enough time to give her the attention she deserved or needed so things changed... Also, in his free time, DOTA was a main obstacle standing between the two of them. Sighs.

At 4.am. one morning, he called me up to tell me that it was over.

I tell you, the world came to a standstill that night and things have never been the same again. We all feel as though we have lost a part of our family. My son and my whole family love her so much and always miss her.

She comes from such a lovely family and in 2008, her parents came all the way from Kelantan for my 25th wedding anniversary. Politically too, her parents and I are from the same camp :-).

Sighs.

My son told me that he will wait for her even if it takes ten years....I know how much he loves her and we all do too!

I still keep in touch with her very often via FB or Skype and will always love her and hope and pray for a miracle that perhaps the two of them will be together again. That is why I put up my post on GIVE IT WINGS.

The point that I want to make in this post is simple. When we have someone in our lives, we must treasure that person and not take him/her for granted. I just watched her graduation concert videos and she is spectacular to say the least and I know she will become famous one day!

Yes, my son lost her. A very big loss indeed. But those 1 year ten months or was it 1 year months a beautiful period for all of us. How I wish I could turn the clock back...

Love is like a rose...it has to be nurtured, watered with love, attention, tender loving care, tolerance and understanding. Without all that, love will wither away....

I know I love to put up jokes about men and women and laugh over them but the truth is, if we have someone in our lives, we really have to cherish, treasure, honor and love that person for always.

Love never dies. We can never stop loving someone once we lose our heart to them.

And whoever you are with, whoever you have married or whoever you love, really love them with all you have, who you are, all you can give.

Some things are not meant to be...but we can treasure the memories, the moments and know that deep in our hearts....love never dies and will live on...I know we will always love her.

Here she is singing one of my FAVOURITE songs by Edith Piaf : La Vie En Rose in her graduation concert last week.




We love you, dearie!! And we are so proud of you...Sometimes, things are not meant to be but we can always hope for miracles while treasuring those memories. You have a very special place in our hearts and we will always love you!!!

24 comments to Sometimes, things don't happen the way we hope......

  1. says:

    Anonymous Dear MWS,

    Parents must never carry their children's school bags...and I'm sure you understand this symbolic significance.

    ~wits0~

  1. says:

    Cassie thank u auntie~ thanks for the lovely post. =)
    i do miss u all, and i appreciate what jon and u all did to me. thanks for the loves and cares =)
    Jon and I are friend now~ next sem wil b his graduation. he will do it well. =)
    i will sing la vie en rose for u when we meet ok? =)thanks for everything auntie~ i mean it :)
    keep in touch! loves and hugs!

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear ~wits0~

    Of course I do, after all I have two boys and never carried their bags.

    Here, I am talking about how love never dies...and I am sure you as well as many, would understand that.

    Ties of love, once bound, will always be there.

    Take care and may love surround you always.

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dearest Cassie

    You are welcome, sweetheart. Thanks for all the love, the times we shared and the love and care you have shown Jon and us.

    I hope Jon will do well in his grad concert...and yes, I would want to hear you sing La Vie En Rose for me.

    Edith Piaf had such a sad life and your skilfully conveyed both the pathos and beauty in the song most effectively.

    Of course I will keep in touch always.

    Love you lots and hugs to you

  1. says:

    Anonymous Dear MWS,

    In the affairs of the heart, your children need to carry their own cross, too, the stunbling, the hurt and all. The way of Nature here where love cannot intervene.

    ~wits0~

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear ~wits0~

    Of course I am NOT intervening. If you read the post carefully, I wrote:

    The point that I want to make in this post is simple. When we have someone in our lives, we must treasure that person and not take him/her for granted....

    I know I love to put up jokes about men and women and laugh over them but the truth is, if we have someone in our lives, we really have to cherish, treasure, honor and love that person for always.

    Love never dies. We can never stop loving someone once we lose our heart to them.

    And whoever you are with, whoever you have married or whoever you love, really love them with all you have, who you are, all you can give.

    Some things are not meant to be...but we can treasure the memories, the moments and know that deep in our hearts....love never dies and will live on...I know we will always love her.


    This post was put up for two reasons:

    a) to remind all of us who have someone to love that we should cherish, treasure and really love our spouse/partner/girlfriend

    b) to say that no matter what, Cassie will always have a big place in our hearts.

    In all my conversations with her, I do NOT persuade her wrt my son.

    I may be old and forgetful but I have not lost my marbles and I do have much experience counselling kids for over 25 years to know what I am doing.

    When I love someone, it is for always. And that goes across the board for friends and students or relatives.

    I hope that clears the air.
    Cheers!

  1. says:

    KoSong Cafe What a coincidence wrt the song - on our way back from PJ, I pointed out to my daughter that the song by Louis Armstrong (a compilation cd playing it then) is the tune used by Enchanteur advertisement!

    I wish I can comment on my children's in and out of love, but I have been told that I have been too open with many things I wrote. So it is better to comment on others in a light hearted way. It is already difficult for two persons to decide if they were meant for each other, so as parents our role is best to just wish them well. If his or her choice happens to be also parents' choice, then consider yourselves extremely lucky, bearing in mind the usual classic in-law problems.

    After a son's relationship which turned sour, a mother actually told him to 'bring back your girl friend only if you are certain'! How could he be?

    Then there was this mother coming down the stairs and nearly tripped and fell upon seeing the boyfriend was actually an African!

    Anyway, there are enough examples of parents' unfair discrimination against certain race yet their children seem to choose from those discriminated against!

    Then there are those with a list of criteria (mostly mandatory) which effectively shut out half the market! And they wonder why their son or daughter is still single!

    I believe in 'que sera sera' in relationships.

  1. says:

    Anonymous Dear MWS,

    Catch you at a very sentimental moment once again. Your opening line reminds me of Nat Cole's song and the magical spell of meeting that someone special. That feeling is just incredible isn't it?

    Edith Piaf has such a beautiful voice and every song she sings you can actually see her life story enfolds before you. She had loved that professional boxer so much that when he died she died along with him (am I correct as I can't remember the whole story?). You see sometimes its not wise to love another forever because then you cannot move on and love again.
    Jon and Cassie will be fine and they will look back with fondness and cherish the times they had shared together. The important thing is they still remain as good friends.

    Good nite,
    edward

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear KoSong Cafe

    Great to hear from you again. It is rare to find one like you who is uninhibited in your writings - please don't lose that part of you. Spontaneity is a rare trait and evidence of sincerity.

    Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom. I appreciate what you wrote and am totally against racial discrimination of any sort, even when it comes to marriages.

    I do agree with you that what will be, will be.

    Parenting is one of the most difficult jobs in the world and certainly not meant for cowards. The journey seems to be an unending one but one that is peppered with memorable and melting moments.

    My son is holidaying now with his friends and will be coming home next week so it will be one glorious week together.

    May you have a blessed time with your loved ones too! Take care and do keep in touch!

    Cheers!

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Edward

    Yes, actually I had just finished watching another of Cassie's videos of "When I Fall In Love" when I started writing that post haha!

    Actually, I only fell in love twice in my life and the first time was the most magical, splendid and long-lasting one ...Indeed, an incredible feeling never to be duplicated or experienced again.

    I wept when I watched La Vie En Rose. Edith Piaf had such a tragic life and lost the love of her life and your are right - something in her died when he died and she could not bear to live without him.

    Moving on is very important once we can pick up the pieces again but I don't know - sentimental me believes one cannot stop loving another. When we end up with the one we finally marry, we pledge our all and that is what makes the difference.

    Yes, the two of them are fine and are still friends - very important. Both are about to graduate and the world is waiting for them....

    Thanks so much for your words of comfort which are certainly very reassuring. I am touched by your kindness and hope Jon will get to meet you one day.

    Take care and God bless you and your family.

    Shalom

  1. says:

    Anonymous I will pass all the lovey dovey issues here and focus on Cassie’s singing. Here goes...

    After watching and listening (without watching) to the original by Edith Piaf and Cassie’s a few times, below is my score card for Cassie’s recital of “La vie En Rose”:

    Vocal Range (5/10)
    She delivers the range, but lacks power and clarity with the high notes. She has some timing issues.

    Vocal Quality (6/10)
    Needs more expression in her vocals while certain lines need more definition (6/10)

    Subtext (8/10)
    This song is about love and passion. She needs to connect her mind and emotion when telling the story within the song. This “personalized ownership” is the meaning of subtext. She does this quite well and manages to convey the meaning of the lyrics to the audience so that they can feel and believe her.

    Stage Presence (5/10)
    Good dress sense; very French. The song is about love and passion, about a girl who is hopelessly in love with a boy, where he takes her in his arms. Turning to the pianist for cue, rubbing her nose, and wiping her mouth and face in between takes killed the romance.

    Total score: 24/40 (Good effort, Cassie)

    StraightTalking
    p.s. Beautiful love song, but I personally prefer the English version “Take me to your heart again”. BTW, I know I’ve no business saying this, but Aunty Paula is obviously REALLY fond you, sweetheart.

  1. says:

    ismi agree. yup love for always..nvr dies.
    i cn c n feel dat cassie is truly special n i sure she feels ur family's love..if it's nt meant for her 2 b ur daughter in law, i believe, her special place in ur heart wil always accomodate her 2 b ur god-daughter :)
    she sings fr her heart :) haha me no expert cn gv any scores, i cn only say i m impressed :)
    and i wana add..only true love nvr dies..i think smtimes we do chance upon fake loves n we regretted nt noticing the faking :)
    praying that my children find true love :)

  1. says:

    HotDogg Dear Aunty Paula,
    "...I may be old and forgetful but I have not lost my marbles..."

    Excuse me, Aunty Paula ma'am, but since when did you realize you have marbles? I thought only men have marbles. You must say I have not lost my "that" next time...

    OK, I'm outta here.

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear StraightTalking

    You are multi-talented lah!! LOL!! Can write, can scold, can inspire and now hey presto...you are the refined version of Simon and I would nominate you for the next season of American Idol or Malaysian Idol (if it comes our way again).

    Thanks for the constructive comments, dear pal! I appreciate your honest and candid opinion and your fair comment.

    Yup - we love Cassie lots!!!

    Take care and know that you are a delightful pal too!

    Have a great weekend. Btw, I dare not sing with u at krk LOL!!! Holy Straightsinging LOL!!

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear ismi

    Many thanks for your frank and sincere comment and for empathizing with me. Since the first time you started commenting in my blog, each input of your has been very precious to me because you speak your mind openly and candidly. Thank you for being an open and honest person.

    I guess we are both sentimental ladies :-).

    With your wonderful parenting, I am sure your kids will find true love when the time comes.

    Take care and may you and yours be blessed always.

    Salam

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Little Corgi

    "Marbles" has three meanings, dearie...Hehe..

    You know two but the third one is an idiom...Check http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/lose+marbles

    It means:

    a) lose your marbles (informal)
    to start acting in a strange way and forgetting things

    Eg. I may be old, but I haven't lost my marbles yet. (informal)


    b) to start forgetting things, behaving strangely, or becoming mentally ill

    E.g. I haven't lost my marbles yet. She's begun to lose her marbles, and there's nothing we can do.

    Woof woof! You owe me a karaoke session LOL!!!

    Cheers

  1. says:

    HotDogg Thank you Aunty Paula for correcting me. I'm not even old yet, but I've already lost it...*sniff* *sniff* :-(


    BUT I CAN SURE CHALLENGE YOU AT THE KRK!!! Humpth!!

  1. says:

    Anonymous The way you describe me, it's like you're describing my ex-principal! Yo Mama!!

    But honestly, I'm not really multi-talented. It's your articles that made me write the way I do. Your articles are all "multi-angled"...some bent to the left, some bent to the right, some make me come out with guns drawn, some make me come out with two angels by my side, some make me come out blazing like a Stage 3 tornado, some make me respond like a gentleman, some make me respond like a cocky bastard, some make me put on my ex-principal's pants, some make me tear away like a punk on a skateboard, some make me weep like a kid, and some make me put halos on my head. All I have to do is put on my best behavior...:-)

    If at all there's anyone multi-talented out there, it's you.

    You can bend and twist and squeeze and smash us into whatever shape you want, and we still can't wait for more in the next instalment of "Aunty Paula says..."

    Like De Niro said, "You are good!" :-)


    StraightTalking

  1. says:

    Anonymous So sentimental are you ... one of the very few,
    So multitalented you are ... like a very very bright star,
    So sweet and beautiful are you ... and so expressive,
    This is simply said ... and not out of mischief,
    You are so good so special ... the only one of its kind,
    Your husband is so very lucky and fortunate to have the rarest of the rarest fine wine!


    "student"

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Little Corgi

    Thanks for being such a gentleman! May you and your corgina have many corgettes LOL!!!

    Ok...when you come to Penang, I will krk with you till you cry and say "Nooooo more of your singing LOL!!!"

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear StraightTalking

    *blushing*

    Thank you so much for your kind comment, dear pal! Actually, I am not good lah - just eccentric and one with many interests, moods and sentimental at heart.

    Just like you, sometimes I feel normal or radical or cheeky or academic or literary or sentimental or sometime just plain crazy LOL. Most of the time, I blog whatever I feel like writing or posting :-) and am glad that readers can tolerate my inconsistencies in theme or focus :-).

    Whatever the case, readers - those known and unknown - like you - have been a tremendous blessing to me, giving me the impetus to carry on blogging.

    Thank you for suffering my nonsense, weaknesses, foibles etc. and accepting me for who I am :-).

    Great to know you this way, pal!

    Have a blessed week and take care.

    Cheers!

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear "student"

    Thank you so much for swinging by to read my post and to share such a beautiful comment.

    *blushes*

    Aiya - it is true I am very sentimental :-(. Think it comes with the age...er but sweet and beautiful - not really - but ageing like old wine and hopefully coming forth better :-) in my blog and in my life - after all I am reaching my twilight years!

    Take care and thank you for your encouragement. I am deeply touched indeed by your sincere response.

    May God continue to bless you and your family always. Please stay in touch.

    Have a great week ahead!

    Cheers!

  1. says:

    LC Teh My mother wanted me to marry a school teacher! She spotted lots of good reasons too. I wasn't about to be tied in by all the conditions she set for me. I was a bit of 'old fashioned'. It had to be love and it had to come freely and naturally. Besides, life has not set any conditions for my existence, therefore love too has to be without any conditions. It was only when I was free of all those restrictive conditions that I found her.

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear LC Teh

    Many thanks for reading my post and sharing so honestly about your experiences. Thanks also for sharing that post which I read in August and left a comment then. Nonetheless, reading it again is certainly inspiring and I pray God will bless you and yours with many more years of wedded bliss. Take care and thanks so much for being a deep person, full of love and care for those around you.

    Do keep in touch. Your comments are really very touching and meaningful each time you share!

    Shalom

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