What If Scientists Wrote Nursery Rhymes?

Posted by Unknown On Wednesday, September 1, 2010 8 comments
Have you ever thought of what might be produced if scientists wrote nursery rhymes? Here are some samples to pique your mind. Try to guess what's the nursery rhyme. Scroll down for the answers. Take care and have a nice day!

P.S. I am sure StraightTalking, Nick and other readers can come up with very interesting versions of nursery rhymes :-)...

Here goes...

1. A research team proceeded toward the apex of a natural geologic protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified. One member of the team precipitantly descended, sustaining severe fractural damage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical structure. Subsequently, the second member of the team performed a self-rotational translation oriented in the direction taken
by the first member.

2. Complications arose during an investigation of dietary influence: one researcher was unable to assimilate adipose tissue and another was unable to consume tissue consisting chiefly of muscle fiber. By reciprocal arrangement between the two researchers, total consumption of the viands under consideration was achieved, this leaving the original container of the viands devoid of contents.

3. A young male human was situated near the intersection of two supporting structural elements at right angles to each other: said subject was involved in ingesting a saccharine composition prepared in conjunction with the ritual observance of an annual fixed-day religious festival. Insertion into the saccharine composition of the opposable digit of his forelimb was followed by removal of a drupe of genus prune. Subsequently the subject made a declarative statement regarding the high quality of his character as a young male human.

4. A triumvirate of murine rodents totally deviod of ophthalmic acuity were observed in a state of rapid locomotion in pursuit of an agriculturalist's marital adjunct. Said adjunct then performed triple caudectomy utilizing an acutely honed bladed instrument generally used for the subdivision of edible tissue.

5. A female of the species homo sapiens was the possesor of a small immature ruminant of the genus ovis, the outer most covering of which reflected all wavelengths of visible light with a luminosity equal to that mass of naturally occurring microscopically crystalline water. Regardless of the translational pathway chosen by the homo sapien, the probability was that the fore mentioned ruminent would select the same pathway.

6. A human female, extremely captious and given to opposed behavior, was questioned as to the dynamic state of her cultivated tract of land used for production of various types of flora. The tract components were enumerated as argentous tone-producing agents, a rare species of oceaninc growth and pulchritudinous young females situated in a linear orientation.


1. Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown,
And Jill came tumbling after.

2. Jack Sprat could eat no fat.
His wife could eat no lean.
And so.......(I don't remember the words)
They ate the platter clean.

3. Little Jack Horner
Sat in the corner
Eating his Christmas pie
He stuck in his thumb
And pulled out a plum
And said "What a good boy am I!"

4. Three blind mice, three blind mice
See how they run, see how they run.
They all ran after the farmer's wife
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife
Did you ever see such a sight in your life
As three blind mice.

5. Mary had a Little Lamb
Whose fleece was white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went,
The lamb was sure to go.

6. Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow.
With silver bells, and cockle shells
And pretty maidens, all in a row.

8 comments to What If Scientists Wrote Nursery Rhymes?

  1. says:

    nick Sis,

    If scientist were to write those old favorites, it would no longer be called "Nursery rhymes" (cos it literally doesn't rhyme at all!) but a scientific paper entitled "The application of rhythmic verses in producing naturally recurring altered state of consciousness with relatively suspended sensory and motor activity, characterized by the inactivity of nearly all voluntary muscles in a human being in the stages between birth and puberty".

    When the title is that long, makes you wonder how many pages does "Old McDonald had a farm" requires?

    Anyway, sorry I can't produce a scientist version of the nursery rhymes Sis. BUT I do want to dedicate this one to our grand old man of Malaysian politic.

    Here's to you, Octo:

    There was a crooked man and he walked a crooked mile,
    He found a crooked sixpence upon a crooked stile.
    He bought a crooked cat, which caught a crooked mouse.
    And they all lived together in a little crooked house.

    Have a great week Sis and GOD bless Malaysia.

    Nick.

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Nick

    Wow!! That is an awesome comment with the most suitable nursery rhyme for a senile old fella.

    I deliberately put up the post to hint at how messages are clouded depending on who is the one framing the message.

    Thank you so much for reading in between the lines :-).

    As always, take care and have a great week!

    Selamat berpuasa!

    Salam

  1. says:

    Anonymous nah nah nah O nah nah nah !

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anon @ 10.34pm

    Haha! Have a nice day!

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Anonymous If Seientists wrote nursery rhymes, children will grow up without creativity. Too much unknown theories. All work and no play makes Jack a dull, dumb boy.

    Old mad hater is his name,
    As a doctor in life he became,
    Doctor's life is pathetic he claimed,
    And politic soon becomes his game,
    Riding roughshod over his political enemies,
    With policies the people don't envy,
    Ruling with impunity,
    With even the rulers' at his mercy,
    Whether we love or loathe his ways,
    There at the tower penthouse he stays,
    The man who wanted so much of his legacy,
    But to his nominees, they think is not easy,
    And to me he is just being plain silly.
    ~ahoo~

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear ahoo

    Wow!! The poet in you has been unleashed!!

    *clapping*

    Excellent!! More please!!!

    May I please post this and credit to you? I will respect whatever decision you make.

    Take care and thanks so much for sharing your creativity here.

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Anonymous Just repost if it matters as always, I don't believe in copyright, but just copy-it-right. Hahaha.

    At times the creative juice flows and some extra ordinary word comes along. Thanks and be blessed always from the Almighty.
    ~ahoo~

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear ahoo

    Many thanks!

    Take care and have a great day!

    Cheers

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