masterwordsmith-unplugged

1. On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.(and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)


2. On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)



3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."(and that would be how???....)


4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."(but, it's "just" a suggestion.)


5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): Don 't turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)


6. On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)


7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)


8. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get
those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)


9. On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and... I'm taking this because???...)


10. On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to... what?)


11. On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)


12. On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)


13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh... fly Delta?)


14. On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)


15. On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Have a nice day everyone!!!