Contrary to what some may think, I did not push my younger boy to study. Neither did I pore over the books with him. I did not mark his work with the exception of the occasional write-ups he did just before English exams.
The moment of reckoning will dawn soon and I am biting my nails and wondering if I did right.
From the time he went to nursery till the present, I told my boy that the best gift I can give to him apart from love and all the mothering he needs without smothering him, would be the gift of education. And I always impressed on him that he must study not for me, his dad or anyone but himself and his own future.
I do not believe in pushing children or students to work for the sake of results but I believe in teaching children/students to realize that education must make them a better person, change their perspective, honor their parents, morals and values and not forgetting ensure a better future for them.
The litmus test will come tomorrow.
My son asked me this morning...Mom, if I don't do well, will you scold me?
"Of course not," was my response. "You tried your best and that is what matters."
Honestly, it has not been easy for me to reach this point in my life. Years ago, I pushed my older boy LOTS cos I guided so many former students to ivy league universities and I thought I could do the same with my older boy! It was tough as I had not factored in his personality and how insensitive I was NOT to have considered his emotions. Being demanding and pushy, I drove him away from me when he went through his teenage angst while coping with my endless nagging for him to study!
And if I could turn the clock back, I would. I would want to do it all over again...but I cannot. Yet, I am thankful that despite my failings, my older boy and I have a great relationship now and he is doing what he loves best. It was not easy letting go of my dreams but what matters is that he is chasing his own dreams.
With that lesson learnt, I adopted a different parenting style with Nick who has turned out differently.
And yet, I shudder nervously as I know he is moving into his teens and things might get rough sometimes...
Here I am, waiting and waiting for tomorrow to come and to be there to tell my son that no matter what he gets, I love him and I always will...regardless!!!
Parenting is certainly not for cowards and is definitely the most difficult job in the world but one that gives lifetime dividends!
To all other parents whose children will be getting their UPSR results tomorrow, I wish you and yours every success.
Take care and God bless you all always!
Cat-from-Sydney Hie Nick! Good luck! Whatever it is, it's not the end of the world, OK? purrr....meow!