How do men and women change the oil for their cars? Let's take a look.
Women:
1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil change.
2. Drink a cup of coffee.
3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.
Money Spent:
$20.00 Oil Change
$1.00 Coffee
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$21.00 Total
Men:
1. Go to auto parts store and write a
check for $50 dollars for oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and scented tree.
2. Discover that the used oil container
is full. Instead of taking it back to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
3. Open a beer and drink it.
4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking
for jack stands.
5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7. Place drain pan under engine.
8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
10. Unscrew drain plug.
11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.
12. Clean up.
13. Have another beer while oil is draining.
14. Look for oil filter wrench.
15. Give up; poke oil filter with screwdriver and twist it off.
16. Beer.
17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.
18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.
19. Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil to gasket first.
23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24. Remember drain plug from step 11.
25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh oil drains onto floor.
27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.
28. Bang head on floor board in reaction.
29. Begin cussing fit.
30. Throw wrench.
31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December (1992) in the left breast.
32. Clean up. Apply Band-Aid to knuckle.
33. Beer.
34. Beer.
35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.
36. Beer.
37. Lower car from jack stands
38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands
39. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during step 23.
40. Test drive car
41. Get pulled over; arrested for driving under the influence.
42. Car gets impounded.
43. Make bail. Get car from impound yard.
Money Spent:
$50 parts
$12 beer
$75 replacement set of jack stands; hey the colors have to match!
$1000 Bail
$200 Impound and towing fee
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$1337 Total
*Posted for laughs and not to insult any man or woman. Have a nice day!
3 comments to Another Difference Between Men and Women
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Unknown Dear Kosongcafe
:-) We are blessed that you have so many tales to share with much candid humor! FYI, I have this phobia about filling the gas tank :-).
Take care and have a great week! Thanks for sharing too!
Cheers
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Anonymous We have simpler task nowadays with drive-in and collect car when ready.
Just leave the car at the service centre and go through with them what needed to be done. Come by again when it is ready, pay by creditcard, collect your bill and of you go.
One word of caution though, ensure you remove all items of value before leaving the car at the service centre. Upon collecting your car have a quick inspection instead of rushing of.
I lost my steering lock (abloy) of over 10 years on one occassion when I was rushing of after my bill without rechecking. I thought I'd removed and left it at home but just too bad, it was missing and untraceable as too many people were involved including car washing.
~ahoo~
kosongcafe More than 40 years ago, Mrs. Goh of Asia Insurance (Country Manager's wife) called us for help because she poured water into the engine opening meant for oil!
There was also a wife who used her new car for a few days until it stopped somewhere. The mechanic came with husband, did some routine checking, said 'No fuel seems to flow.' Husband asked wife, 'Did you put petrol?' Wife said, 'What petrol? You bought the car, I drive lah!'