Best of Top Ten Jokes

Posted by Unknown On Monday, March 14, 2011 4 comments
TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND...

10. Cats' facial expressions

9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors

8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds

7. Fat clothes

6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time

5. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell

4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow

3. Eyelash curlers

2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made

1. OTHER WOMEN



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Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty In Law But Aren't

10. Have you looked through her briefs?

9. He's one hard judge!

8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.

7. His attorney withdrew at the last minute.

6. Is it a penal offense?

5. Better leave the handcuffs on.

4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!

3. Can you get him to drop his suit?

2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.

1. Think you can get me off?

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TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN GOLF BUT AREN'T

10. Nuts...my shaft is bent.

9. After 18 holes I can barely walk.

8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.

7. Look at the size of his putter.

6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.

5. Mind if I join your threesome?

4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.

3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.

2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired.

1. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first.

-Author Unknown-

POSTED STRICTLY FOR HUMOR WITH NO INTENTION TO OFFEND/INSULT ANYONE. Any similarities to other situations is purely coincidental. Have a nice day!

4 comments to Best of Top Ten Jokes

  1. says:

    Cat-from-Sydney Huh? Cat facial expression? Dad would put on a blank face when Mama starts saying: "Hmmm....see, this wasn't here yesterday" while showing him my paw, or neck, or any parts of my body. har har har *evil laughs*

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Angelina

    WOW!! That is very clever of your mama!! And then what did dad say??? :-)

    Take care and have a great week!

    Salam

  1. says:

    ahoo Words that sound dirty but it is all in a day routine.

    Yes, Miss X please come in and lay down ya. Please adjust the seat accordingly to ensure you are in the most comfortable position before I start to work on you.

    You look scare and is this your first time doing it ? Miss X, ya lah, is it painful ah ? Can you be gentle a bit and do it slowly and need not rush as I have the time leh. Will I bleed badly ?

    Miss X, please open up gently and I am getting ready my tool to start the job. If it hurts, please just holds tightly onto the side of the seat and I promise to be as gentle as possible to avoid as little bleeding as possible.

    Ouch, says Miss X, that was a quick one and I didn't even feel the tool inside my mouth, Dr. You are such a gentle person and your skill is truly remarkable as I had nightmare just thinking of the dentist chair. You have certainly make my visit a pleasant one and having overcome those perceived fears, I will have no hesitation coming back again should I need any dental care.

    Some crooked minds might have thought of something else but this was truly a scene in a clinic of the dentist room with patient and Dr having the routine conversation. Cheers !

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Ahoo

    Wow!! That is most creative and hilarious LOL!! Yup - it is all about perception. Thanks so much for taking the time to share this with us. I am sorry for this late response. Have been bz with my boy and visitors. Take care and have a blessed weekend!

    Warmest wishes

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