masterwordsmith-unplugged

* I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

* A day without sunshine is like..., night.

* On the other hand, you have different fingers.

* I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

* 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

* Do 99% of Lawyers give the rest a bad name?

* I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

* Honk if you love peace and quiet.

* Remember, half the people you know are below average.

* He who laughs last thinks slowest.

* Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

* The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

* I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

* Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

* Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

* A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

* Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

* Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

* Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!

* If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

* OK,..... so what's the speed of dark?

* How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

* If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

* When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

* Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

* Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

* If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

* Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

* What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

* The final enlightening thought for the day..... Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

-Author Unknown-