masterwordsmith-unplugged: Realistically Speaking...Just for smiles

Realistically Speaking...Just for smiles

Posted by Unknown On Thursday, August 9, 2012 0 comments

I am sharing the following post which Freddie just sent me for laughs and not to make a mockery of the marriage institution. My sincere apologies if I offend any one with this post for that is certainly not my intention at all. Sometimes, it is better that we spell it out clearly ...er perhaps not that clearly :-) but regardless...may those who are married view and uphold their vows seriously and live in marital bliss. Have a wonderful day.

Just for smiles...

We are gathered here in the presence of God and men to join these people in holy matrimony. We know they have been living together in secret but now they can do it with the knowledge of everyone.

And as marriage is holy, at least in theory, I put it forth that if there is anyone in this gathering who has a valid reason why these two should not be joined, speak now or forever hold your peace. Anyone.....

Is there anyone.....? C'mon, don't be shy!

Someone....? Anyone....? Good. No one night stands.

Moving on swiftly. Mr Groom, do you take this woman as your lawfully wedded bride:

to love to cherish and to hold
to listen to her whinning halfway through the night
to always suck up to her father
to always lose an argument or else...
to give all your pay without reservations
to be the worker while she is the minister of finance
to ignore your relatives while taking care of hers
to listen to unending lies about her having a headache when you really need to release steam, to put up with PMS or the sometimes faked...

till death do you part?

Groom: I do.....?

Very well.

And do you Miss Bride, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband:

to love to cherish and to hold
to be willing to ... for whether tired, or not, willing or not
to cook for, clean up after, give up watching soaps and anything interesting when there is
football
to be patient when you find the toilet seat up everytime
to clean the toilet seat of p**
to take care of kids alone
to house his in-laws
to bring beers for his friends during any
important game for all the days of your life?

Bride: I do.................?............???

Well then, theres nothing more that I can say that will change your minds ...I pronounce you husband and wife. What God has joined, let no man, neighbour, handsome workmate, barmaid, beer brand, ex's, in-laws,
milkman, shamba-boy, wet dreams , driver or sexy secretary, football game, computer, Facebook, Twitter etc put asunder.