masterwordsmith-unplugged

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do however realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with coworkers, therefore, a list of preferred new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.

PREFERRED: Perhaps I can work late
OLD: When the f*** do you expect me to do this?

PREFERRED: Perhaps you should check with...
OLD: Tell someone who gives a sh**

PREFERRED: Of course I'm concerned
OLD: Ask me if I give a s**t

PREFERRED: I wasn't involved in that project
OLD: Its not my fu**ing problem

PREFERRED: I'm not sure I can implement this
OLD: Fu** it, it won't work

PREFERRED: I'll try to schedule that
OLD: Why the h**l didn't you tell me sooner

PREFERRED: Are you sure this is a problem
OLD: Who the fu** cares

PREFERRED: He's not familiar with the problem
OLD: He's got his head up his a*s

PREFERRED: So you weren't happy with it?
OLD: Kiss my a**

PREFERRED: I'm a bit overloaded at this moment
OLD: Fu** it, I'm on salary

PREFERRED: I don't think you understand
OLD: Shove it up your a**

PREFERRED: I love a challenge
OLD: This job su**s

PREFERRED: I see
OLD: Bl** me

PREFERRED: Yes, we really should discuss it
OLD: Another fu***ng meeting!!!!

PREFERRED: I don't think this will be a problem
OLD: I really don't give a sh**

PREFERRED: He's somewhat insensitive
OLD: He's a fu**ing pri**

PREFERRED: She's an aggressive go getter
OLD: She's a ball busting bi**h

PREFERRED: I think you could use more training
OLD: You don't know what the fu** you're doing

-Author Unknown-

*Posted in a tongue-in-cheek mood for laughs with no intention to offend anyone.