masterwordsmith-unplugged

Warning: Read at your own peril because it is very funny. My suggestion: cover your mouth with your hand if you have a tendency to laugh out loud. :-) Thanks to Freddie who sent me this poem.

The missus bought a paperback,

Down town on Saturday,

I had a look into her bag,

'Twas "Fifty Shades of Grey"

Well I just left her to it.

At ten I went to bed.

One hour later she appeared;

The sight filled me with dread.....

In her left hand, she held a rope;

And in her right hand, a whip!

She threw them down upon the floor

And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago

I might have had a peek.

But Doris hasn't weathered well.

She's eighty four next week!

Watching Doris bump and grind,

Could not have been much grimmer.

Things they went from bad to worse.

She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet

A couple of minutes later;

She put her teeth back in and

Said....that I must dominate her!

Now if you knew our Doris,

You'd know just why I spluttered.

"I spent two months in traction,

From our last mad sex" I muttered.

She stood there nude, all naked like.

She bent forward just a bit.

So I stepped forward cautiously

And stood on her left tit!

Doris screamed; her teeth shot out.

My god what had I done?

She moaned and groaned then shouted out:

"Step on the other one!"

Well readers, I can't tell no more

About what occurred that day.

Suffice to say, my jet black hair

Turned "Fifty Shades of Grey".

 -Author Unknown-