masterwordsmith-unplugged

As mentioned in my earlier posts, I have had to make major changes in my life. Following a delicate health condition, I resigned from my part-time position and have had to realign my life accordingly. Despite the drop in an already dismal level of income, I refuse to just sit at home, stare at the pc and merely blog. No. That is not my style. With time on my hands safe for household and family (plus canine) responsibilities, I thought it would be good to be on the other side of the court - as a student - so my journey began. And, it has been a very refreshing one indeed.

My younger boy has been propelled into my world of books and mugging. Behind the facade of a we-must-save-electricity campaign, he now sits beside me as I pore over my books, making copious notes. I cannot explain how this has impacted mother-son bonding positively. Instead of me ever persuading him to use the many post-it notes I bought for him, I now have a good collection of highlighters, page markers, bookmarks, stickers and all the study paraphernalia to enjoy.

As I plan my work schedule, I also asked him to do the same and naturally he had to comply. Previously, he used to say it was ok as he knew what to do but now with momsy here setting the benchmark, he seems to have run out of excuses so he complied quietly.

There is always so much to do and I do confess that at my age, it is a conscious effort to remain focussed, to make an effort to understand, remember, recall and be able to write good answers.

Studying can be such a reclusive activity for now I say no thank you to most dinner invitations - even from my own husband who really has to drag me out of the house and see the sun. OK. I do see the sun when I hang the laundry.

I daresay falling asleep is one of the hazards of studying as an older person. Eyes get tired easily, font size is enlarged to 150% and tidbits (OMG) have to be at arm's distance. Unbelievably, I devoured a whole bar of almond chocolate yesterday :-(. Thank goodness that was the last bar and the house is now devoid of any tidbits safe for some preserved lemon peels which are absolutely yukky. So, the downside of being a kiasu student is - one can gain weight cos all I seem to do now is sit, read, study, understand, meditate, analyze, think. The tougher the topic, the more I need to understand a topic, the more stressful it is and hence - the more I go on a hunting spree to forage for snacks especially peanuts and chocolates in the house but alas, the last time I stocked up was three weeks ago and all I have left are healthy snacks such as oatmeal bars (groan), oatmeal crackers (yuks), muesli with fruit and tasteless yoghurt (arrgh!). Still, all the inactivity of sitting down is not good for my waistline and I kid you not when I say I am typing this with my ukimono wrapped around my waist in kneading mode!

Blogging is a good distraction and of course, reading jokes. Hence, in between (like now since the last break at 11.30am) I just surf the net briefly for jokes :-) and a chance to unwind (not by reading local news for that is a hazardous act!!!).

It is no exaggeration when I confess I fell asleep last night during my bedtime reading with my notes in my hand. :-( It was Tiger who woke me up when he tugged at the papers which he assumed was his supper! Yes, my beloved Tiger sleeps in my room :-).

At the same time, I am way behind in my Mandarin homework and sewing projects. I have yet to do the copious handwriting exercises and have given up on writing with the brush. As for my bag sewing project, my sixth and most ambitious hand-made bag project is 80% completed and I doubt I can find the interest or energy to finish it.

I have had to give up a few activities. Gone are the days when I worshipped the floor i.e. I no longer sweep the floor three or four times a day but only do so once a day. Neither do I baptise the floor by mopping it twice a day for now it has been reduced to once a day or once in two days.

Seriously, I ask myself why I did not do this earlier.

Fear.

Yea.

Fear of exams and the fear of not being at the top.

So what? Taking an exam is a process whereby we study, prepare ourselves for a gruelling examination and at my age, I should realize that it does not really matter how well I do as long as I put my best effort. Easier to type this than to live it out.

Having been a kiasu student for the greater part of my life, it is very difficult not to be hard on myself.

I guess I just have to let go.

And to immerse myself in the absolute joy of learning, self-discovery and allowing the newly gained knowledge to transform my mind and life.

Gone are the days of aimless wandering or talking but now, I have to remain focussed.

My better half thinks I am insane and does not sit with us when we study because he says the atmosphere is just filled with so much tension in the silence. Even Tiger behaves himself and does not manja.

Honestly, now that I am on the other side of the court as a student, I cannot fathom why students balk at the idea of studying or doing work. The best part is actually doing what I tell students to do :-) and it is so heartening to note that the standards/processes I laid down for them are workable and practical.

But then again, some have said I am quite mad. :-)

So for now, break time time is over. 2.30pm. Back to books.

Till we meet again in another post, this is mws signing off to hit the books, note cards and summaries. Next post will be up before 6pm.

Have a great day!!!