masterwordsmith-unplugged

Three partners in an accounting firm go out to lunch. They are the audit partner, the tax partner and the senior partner. One of them sees a brass lamp lying in the gutter.

Curious, they pick it up and give it a rub. Instantly, a genie appears.

'You know the deal,' says the genie. 'Three wishes.

But seeing there are three of you, you can have one wish each.'

'Great,' says the audit partner. 'Take me to the Whitsunday Islands, give me a blonde and an endless supply of XXXX and leave me there for ever.'

Pouf! There is a flash of light, a puff of smoke and he is gone.

'Now me,' says the tax partner. 'Take me to the Cook Islands, give me two blondes and an endless supply of offshore tax schemes and leave me there for ever.'

Pouf! There is a flash of light, a puff of smoke and he is gone.

The genie turns to the senior partner. 'And what do you want?'

'I want those two back in the office straight after lunch.'

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Three tax accountants and three officers from the Tax Department are travelling by train to a conference. At the station the three tax officers each buy tickets and watch as the accountants buy only a single ticket.

'How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?' asks a tax officer.

'Watch and you'll see,' answers an accountant.

They all board the train. The tax officers take their seats but all three accountants cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train departs the conductor comes around collecting tickets.

He knocks on the restroom door and says, 'Ticket please.'

The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The tax officers see this and agree it is quite a clever idea.

So, after the conference, they decide to copy the accountants on the return trip to save some money (after discussing it and agreeing it wouldn't be caught as a scheme under the Tax Act).

When they get to the station they buy a single ticket .

To their astonishment, the accountants don't buy a ticket at all.

'How are you going to travel without a ticket?' asks one perplexed officer.

'Watch and you'll see,' answers an accountant.

When they board the train the three tax officers cram into a restroom and the three accountants cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the accountants leaves his restroom and walks over to the one where the tax officers are hiding.

He knocks on the door and says, 'Ticket please.'

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Three accountants go to the men's room to relieve themselves. The first one finishes and walks over to the basin to wash his hands. He then proceeds to dry them carefully, using paper towel after paper towel until every spot of water is gone.

He turns to the other two accountants and says, 'CPAs are trained to be extremely thorough.'

The second one goes over to the basin, washes his hands and then dries them with one paper towel, using every corner of it until every spot of water is gone. He says, 'Chartered Accountants are trained to be extremely thorough but also extremely efficient.'

The third accountant walks straight to the door. 'Management Accountants learn never to piss on themselves.'

*Posted for laughs with no intention to offend any accountants...

Have a nice day!