*Should children witness childbirth? Good question.* Here's your answer.
Due to a power cut, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3 year old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby...
Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.
The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed..
Kathleen quickly responded, 'He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place.....smack his ass again'
If you don't laugh at this one, there's no hope for you.
_________________________
THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY A SCOTTISH GIRL
Three friends married women from different parts of the world.....
The first man married a Filipino. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man married a Thai. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man married a girl from Scotland. He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.
He still has some difficulty when he pees.
___________________________
As you slide down the banister of life, remember...
1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called 'Ministers Do More Than Lay People'
2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
3. The difference between the Pope and your boss, the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
4. My mind works like lightning one brilliant flash and it is gone.
5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the ! bathroom.
6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
7. It used to be only death and taxes. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that
he just cleaned the whole house.
9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.
10. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment...for enjoying sex.
11. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way...
Be who you are and say what you feel... because those that matter... don't mind and those that mind...don't matter!
Due to a power cut, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3 year old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby...
Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.
The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed..
Kathleen quickly responded, 'He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place.....smack his ass again'
If you don't laugh at this one, there's no hope for you.
_________________________
THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY A SCOTTISH GIRL
Three friends married women from different parts of the world.....
The first man married a Filipino. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man married a Thai. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man married a girl from Scotland. He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.
He still has some difficulty when he pees.
___________________________
As you slide down the banister of life, remember...
1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called 'Ministers Do More Than Lay People'
2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
3. The difference between the Pope and your boss, the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
4. My mind works like lightning one brilliant flash and it is gone.
5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the ! bathroom.
6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
7. It used to be only death and taxes. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that
he just cleaned the whole house.
9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.
10. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment...for enjoying sex.
11. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way...
Be who you are and say what you feel... because those that matter... don't mind and those that mind...don't matter!
Ckw If you don't laugh at this one, there's no hope for you.
Correct! Correct! Correct!
You are hopeless if you don't, hehe..
Have a nice Saturday!