SWOOSHING AND SWISHING.....

Posted by Unknown On Thursday, August 19, 2010 0 comments
The following post was written by Nick, a regular reader and commenter. He shared it as a comment in my post on How To Live Stresslessly.

The NEP is like the actual and real “goose that lays the golden egg” for a few elite UMNOputeras (and associates) and just like the mythical creature, the Malays are falsely told of its existence that will never ever become real no matter how much faith they may have in its existence!

Talking about NEP creates such a lively debate from many quarters. To some, NEP is a MUST for a race to escape poverty (just like the ever popular “upacara tarik duit” or Skim Pak Man Telo,) and to some NEP is nothing more than a discriminatory policy that not only divides the country but manages to enrich a few chosen (an elite group) ones at the expense of the poor and down trodden Malaysian (every race included).

To me personally, NEP reminds me of THE JOKE that Quentin Tarantino unleashed on the unsuspecting bartender and the bar patron. Here how it goes:

This guy comes into a bar, walks up to the bartender. Says, "Bartender, I got me a bet for you. I'm gonna bet you $300 that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a single, solitary drop." The bartender looks. I mean, we're talking, like, this glass is like a good ten feet away.

He says, "Now wait, let me get this straight. You're tryin' to tell me you'll bet me $300 that you can piss, standing over here, way over there into that glass, and not spill a single drop?"

Customer looks up and says, "That's right." Bartender says, "Young man, you got a bet." The guy goes, "Okay, here we go. Here we go."

Pulls out his thing. He's lookin' at the glass, man. He's thinkin' about the glass.

He's thinkin' about the glass. Glass. He's thinkin' about the glass, glass. Thinkin' about his thingy. Thingy, glass, thingy, glass, thingy, glass, thingy, glass, thingy, glass, thingy, glass, thingy, glass. And then, *foosh*, he lets it rip.

And he pisses all over the place, man. He's pissin' on the bar. He pissin' on the stools, on the floor, on the phone, on the bartender! He's pissing everywhere *except* the ******* glass! Right?

Okay. So, bartender, he's laughing his ******' *** off. He's $300 richer. He's like, "Ha, ha, ha, ha!" Piss dripping off his face. "Ha, ha, ha, ha!" He says, "You ******* idiot, man! You got it in everything except the glass! You owe me $300 punta (ok, in the Malaysian context it’s Macha!"

Guy goes, "Excuse me just one-one little second." Goes in the back of the bar. In back, there's a couple of guys playing pool. He walks over to them. Comes back to the bar. Goes, "Here you go, Mr. Bartender, $300." And the bartender's like, "What the **** are you so happy about? You just lost $300, idiot!"

The guy says, "Well, see those guys over there? I just bet them $500 apiece that I could piss on your bar, piss on your floor, piss on your phone, and piss on YOU, and not only would you not be mad about it, you'd be happy!:)"

Well, that’s what NEP reminds me of and I leave it up to all Malaysian to draw their own conclusion on those people who fits the bill as “ The pissing Guy”,” the bartender”, “the other bar patrons and those pool playing losers” in the Malaysian context!

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