A woman & her best friend are shopping for a wedding gown. Surprised at her choice, the friend exclaims, "you can't be serious, how can you wear white?"
The woman asks why not? "Well", said the friend, "this is your FOURTH wedding and you're not a virgin!"
"Oh, but I am" replied the woman. "How can that be? "My 1st husband was a Gynecologist, and all he wanted to do was look at it. My 2nd husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it. My 3rd husband was a contractor & never showed up. But don't worry. This time I'm marrying a lawyer & I know I'll get screwed!"
________________________________
The Lawyer in King Solomon's Court
Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit.
"This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter," said one.
"No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other.
And so they haggled before the King until he called for silence.
"Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young attorney in half. Each of you shall receive a half."
"Sounds good to me," said the first lady.
But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him."
The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The attorney must marry the first lady's daughter," he proclaimed.
"But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court.
"Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law."
.
Anonymous Hahaha ! This is just hilarious lah. Lawyers out there, please know that we just love jokes about your profession but in reality respected your work in bringing justice for all to see.
Let me share a joke on " the lawyer, the bride to be and her mother " :
One day the bride to be came back from oversea and was pregnant with a child. The furious mother was so shocked and scream at her daughter, how can you be such a disgraceful brat ! Who is the child father, huh ?
He will come a calling soon. Later in the afternoon, a suaved old gentleman driving the latest Porshe model was at the doorway. Upon opening the door, the girl's mother was at first screaming her lungs out. The old lawyer managed to quieten her down with apologies and good mannerism.
I came to make a proposal. Firstly, you see I am married and thus cannot take your daughter as my wife since the legal law says that I cannot have more than one wife legally being a non muslim. She almost wanted to eat him up at that juncture BUT hold her composure.
Now tell me you proposal. The old man said, you see I long for a son to take over my many companies and inheritance but I am childless to date. If your daughter gave birth to a son for me, I will hand over five listed companies, five houses, five cars and five fixed deposit.
The woman was all excited and asked, what happen if she bore you a girl. Oh, well for that I will still leave her with all that were expressed BUT just one of each only. That was still acceptable to the lady.
Now I have a problem, says the man. What happen if your daughter has a miscarriage and bore me no child ? Well, the woman replied, that is not a problem sir. You can always continue to have sex with her until the day she bore you your child. Can we have it in black and white sir, says the mother !!!
(no offence to lawyer for this is just a joke ya 1)
~ahoo~