If Men and Women Could Swap Places...

Posted by Unknown On Wednesday, December 1, 2010 6 comments
Here's a list of top ten things MEN would do if they woke up and discovered they were women...Posted for HUMOR and not to offend anyone. This is a late-night posting...kids are asleep LOL!!



10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes...BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple org**ms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too...

And, the NUMBER ONE thing men would do if they woke up as a woman...

1. Finally find that damned G-spot.

Top ten things WOMEN would do if they woke up to find they were now men:

10. Get ahead faster in corporate America
9. Learn to stare with that "I'm undressing you" look.
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.
5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging or**sm.
4. Touch/shift yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.
3. Jump up and down naked with an e***tion to see if it feels as funny as it looks.
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.

And, the NUMBER ONE thing women would do if they woke up as males...
1. Get a b*** j**!!!

Smile a lot and please don't get offended!!! Posted for HUMOR!!!!

6 comments to If Men and Women Could Swap Places...

  1. says:

    Anonymous The natural difference between men and women....

    The Husband Store

    A store that sells new husbands has opened in Manchester , just off Deans gate where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

    You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

    So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

    Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

    She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

    Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
    'That's nice' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

    So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

    Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

    'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

    She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

    Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework...

    'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
    Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

    Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

    She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

    Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor.. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

    PLEASE NOTE:
    To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street with the same rules.

    The first floor has wives that love sex.

    The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

    The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

  1. says:

    Anonymous haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahaha

  1. says:

    Anonymous Just live and let's live ! We cannot change the sex we were brought up with,..... unless one decides to go under the knife ? For what would it benefits us then ?

    We cannot complain that the Sun is always rising from the East for that is reality. Neither can we complain why we aere born in Malaysia and not in some rich countries into super rich families.

    It is not the wealth that maketh a man. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

    Everyone of us are a perfect match and are made in His image. So there is no reason to reject ourself and to change that whcih was given unto us. Live well this life before the breath of life is gone.

    ~ahoo~

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear all

    Thanks for the variety of responses to this post! I appreciate what you have written and for the wisdom and humor shared. Take care and have a good week! Do keep in touch.

    Cheers

  1. says:

    kokcheng You are a very interesting gal.Have been reading your posts and writings for quite sometime and have never failed to be tickled,touched,educated,excited and so forth.Just to let you know, you make my days.Thanks.

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear kokcheng

    Thanks so much for such a heartfelt comment! It is the first time I have received such a positive and encouraging comment like yours and I am really touched and deeply encouraged. Indeed, it is a joy to know that my blog posts can elicit different responses from you. Haha..Thanks for saying I am interesting - MAD more like it hehe :-). You have made my evening too! Take care and do keep in touch!

    Wishing you a great week ahead.

    Best wishes

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