masterwordsmith-unplugged

It's that time of the year when many of us are mulling over new year resolutions. For a change, enjoy this list of practical new year resolutions. As this year draws to a close, remember the tears, kiss goodbye to your fears and welcome the new year with courage, vision and expectation. Have a nice day, everyone!

This year, I resolve to...

Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.

Stop exercising. Waste of time.

Read less. Makes you think.

Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.

Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.

Spend more time at work, surfing the net.

Take a vacation to someplace important: like, to see the largest ball of twine.

Not jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.

Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.

Not have eight children at once.

Get in a whole NEW rut!

Start being superstitious.

Personal goal: bring back disco.

Not bet against the Minnesota Vikings.

Invest in a really loud stereo system.

Get the windows tinted. Buy some fur for the dash.

Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabicwords.

Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt.

Spend my summer vacation in Cyberspace.

Not eat cloned meat.

Create loose ends.

Get more toys.

Get further in debt.

Not believe politicians.

Not drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice.

Avoid transmission of inter-species diseases.

Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet.

Stay off the International Space Station.

Not swim with pirhanas or sharks.

Associate with even worse business clients.

Spread out priorities beyond my ability to keep track of them.

Wait around for opportunity.

Focus on the faults of others.

Mope about my faults.

Never make New Year's resolutions again.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!! Cheers! If you are out for the countdown to 2011, drive safely!