Three young women are at a cocktail party......Their talk turns to their position in life, and it's clear that they are trying to one-up each other.
The first woman says, "My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks," and then looks at the others with a superior demeanor.
The second woman says,"Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes," and looks about with considerable pride.
The third woman says,"Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we don't have much money and we don't have any material possessions.....But thirteen canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder on my husband's ere*t p****."
The first woman looks shamefaced and says, "Girls, I've got a confession to make. I was just trying to impress you.......We're not really going to the French Riviera......We're going to my parent's house for two weeks."
The second woman says, "Your honesty has shamed me.....To be honest, my husband didn't buy me a Mercedes......He bought me a Ford."
"Well," the third woman says, "I also have a confession to make.....Canary number thirteen has to stand on one leg."
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Thanks to Freddie for the following joke!
Paddy and Murphy were talking one afternoon when Paddy tells Murphy,
"Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii ... I went to Hawaii and Molly got pregnant.
Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas and Molly got pregnant again.
Last year you suggested Tahiti and darn me, if Molly didn't get pregnant again."
Murphy asks Paddy, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"
Paddy says, "This year I'm taking Molly with me."
Enjoy the evening! Cheers
Cat-from-Sydney Woohoo! Risque! purrrr....meow!