masterwordsmith-unplugged

Dear readers,

Please accept my deepest apologies for not updating my blog with any socio-political posts. My boy has started school (like what I explained yesterday) and I have to spend lots of time being a chauffeur rushing through rush hour traffic, going to school early to get a good place to park and waiting for school dismissal etc.

On top of that, I am going back to lecturing week after next and have been really busy trying to get my lectures in order before I enter the classroom again. It has NOT been an easy decision to join the academia again, especially at this point of time when the rot is so deep. In fact, it took me the whole month of December to decide! Nonetheless, I have only taken on a once a week (two hours) stint just so I can join the human civilization again instead of being cloistered in my little hole behind the computer screen. It has been quite alienating for the past five years so it is time to challenge and mould minds, dress up, speak to a group of young people and to join in the rat race albeit on a very low-key level.

It has been an especially challenging week as so many former students, relatives and old friends are back and almost everyday, there is a reunion or makan session. Straight after this post, I have to shower and rush to meet a good of soon-to-be gym mates (friends who have been bugging me to join the gym, especially Freddie) for dinner and then I will come back and write a news post!

In the mean time, please accept an oldie but a goodie on political systems. Take care and thank you all for reading and for commenting. Thanks for your patience and connection. Have a pleasant evening!!

Cheers and best wishes
mws

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FEUDALISM:

You have two cows.



Your lord takes some of the milk.

FASCISM:

You have two cows.

The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the >milk.

PURE COMMUNISM:

You have two cows.

Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

APPLIED COMMUNISM:

You have two cows.

You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

DICTATORSHIP:

You have two cows.

The government takes both and shoots you.

Mexican DEMOCRACY:

You have two cows.

The government takes both, shoots you and sends the cows to Zurich.

MILITARISM:

You have two cows.

The government takes both and drafts you into the army.

SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY:

You have two cows.

The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.

PURE DEMOCRACY:

You have two cows.

All your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY:

You have two cows.

Your neighbors pick someone who will tell you who gets the milk.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY:

The government promises to give you two cows, if you vote for it.

After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate", but supports the president. The cow sues you for breach of contract. Your legal bills exceed your annual income. You settle out of court and declare bankruptcy.

BRITISH DEMOCRACY:

You have two cows.

You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.

FRENCH DEMOCRACY

You have two cows.

You feed them human sewage. The government bans British beef as it is unhealthy.

EUROPEAN DEMOCRACY:

You have two cows.

At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

CAPITALISM:

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You retire on the income.

HONG KONG CAPITALISM:

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly-listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the right to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because of bad "feng shui".

TOTALITARIANISM:

You have two cows.

The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS:

You are associated with (the concept of 'ownership' is a symbol of the phallocentric, warmongering, intolerant past) two differently aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non specified gender.

You are torn by feelings of guilt, your psychotherapist recommends a treatment center. You spend six weeks there, paid for by the community health plan, and graduate into Guilty Anonymous.

COUNTERCULTURE:

Wow, dude, there's like...these two cows, man.

Uh, so, like, you have really got to do some of this milk, like, fer shur, it's awesome, man.

SURREALISM:

You have two giraffes.

The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

-Author Unknown-

*This post was put up for the sake of humor and not to offend or to insult any one/country.