masterwordsmith-unplugged

• Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
• Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
• Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
• Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
• Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
• Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)
• Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
• Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
• Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
• Law of Bio mechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
• Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
• Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
• Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
• Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
• Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
• Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
• Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's really ugly.
• Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
• Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

I have received a few 'ingenious' excuses that the smarter students have tried to give when they failed to meet my deadlines. Amongst the unforgettable ones would be from A.K. who is now a gynaecologist in New Zealand

1st unforgettable excuse:

A.K.: Miss, I can't hand in my Economics homework today.
Me: Tell me why.
A.K.: My house was flooded last night.
Me: It was not even raining. Where do you live?
A.K.: 1, Persiaran Gurney
Me: There are 30 floors in 1, Persiaran Gurney so on which floor is your apartment?
A.K: 16th floor
Me: Hmm.....
*Turns out that it was just a clogged bathroom which had no bearing whatsoever on her homework

2nd unforgettable excuse:


A.K.: Miss, I can't hand in my Economics homework today.
Me: Tell me why.
A.K.: One of the rooms in my apartment was on fire.
Me: Really?
*It was just a short circuit in her home which caused a power failure for half an hour.

Anyway, just for laughs, here is a possible appeal letter that a creative student could submit to request for a a higher grade. :-) I am posting this for laughs and am not endorsing this letter at all! :-)

Do share your experiences/encounters. Thanks! Have a lovely evening!

________________________________


Date:

Dear Professor/Mr./Mrs./Madam/Ms

My grade in ____ should be raised from _____ to ____ because:

• There must be a mistake somewhere.
• I was not well at the time of the examination.
• My mind always goes blank during an examination.
• This mark ruined my prospect of getting a scholarship.
• This is the only course in which I received a poor grade
• This mark grieved my mother (or Father). whose pride I am.
• Conditions in the room were not conductive to concentration.
• The examination was unfair and unfairly distributed over the subject
• I have to work after school and nights; therefore I should be given a break.
• I am married; therefore, I should be given a break.
• I would have done much better if I had taken the examination give to one of the other sections.
• Several people around me copied from my paper during the examination yet they received higher marks than I did. Surely this is not fair.
• The reason I did not do better is because I am very honest. I do no wish to say anything against any other members of the class.
• I know many of the class members who do not work as hard as I do an who got a better grade. I am recognized among my classmates as a good student - you just ask any one of them.
• The question were ambiguous, and therefore, my answers should be graded according to the reasonable interpretations that I made of your questions.
• Many of the questions could not be answered with straight facts; they were matters of opinion. I do not believe I should be penalize just because my opinions differ from those of the instructor.
• I have studied this subject from the broad philosophical viewpoint and therefore, I was unable to answer your technical-based question
• I am philosophically oriented to the realm of ideas; I respond to the sweep and scope of great intellects. My work is beyond the interest in petty details and parrot-like memorizing of those who are merely students
• At the time of the exam, I was suffering from a severe case of cognitive dissonance and was incapable of coping with the stress of the hour.
• It is not a higher mark I seek; I care nothing about marks; I think marks are wicked and I disapprove of them. However, this pernicious system of which I am a victim requires marks for achieving success and therefore, I seek a higher mark.

Thank you.

Name:


-Author Unknown-

I believe that Wayne Dyer may have been the first to coin the phrase, “An attitude of gratitude,” and so it is with great admiration and respect for him that I, too, honor this wonderful saying.

Gratitude is so much more than just the words “thank you.” It is the very core of a soul affirming its connection to the greatest and highest power in the Universe; and it is my belief that the power of this connection is what miracles are made of.

So many of us “ask” and then “wait” and then “thank.” What gratitude really is, however, is a constant state of thankfulness; a constant affirmation that what is already before us is the gift. As Albert Einstein said, “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

Reality is whatever we believe it is. And when our reality is a certainty of miracles, miracles are the only things we will ever see. In other words, we can choose to live in a constant state of wishing and waiting, or we can choose to be thankful for every miracle that is before us wherever we are.

Miracles are as much a human responsibility as they are a divine accomplishment. When we do not feel connected to the everyday accomplishments of Infinite Grace, we experience the opposite of connection and abundance, and we live in a constant state of separation and lack.

There is nothing “over there” that is not right here, right now. Even if we cannot yet see it, when we trust and are grateful for all Divine Accomplishment, every miracle we can imagine will emerge directly from a miracle that already exists.

Robert Fulghum says, “The grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence. Fences have nothing to do with it. The grass is greenest where it is watered. When crossing over fences, carry water with you and tend the grass wherever you may be.”
The “water” is gratefulness. Use gratitude to tend whatever it is you already have.

Wherever you are there is a miracle happening. Look for it on your own side of the fence, because that’s where your miracles are.

Everything you could possibly desire already exists. Be thankful. Be thankful with your heart and your soul. Perhaps the gift of a magnificent flower is within the tiny seed that you have forgotten to water today and, because it was not tended to, it never blossomed into the miracle of a rare and beautiful saffron rose.

Whatever eludes us in this lifetime eludes us because we are not attentive to it; our focus is on what we are not receiving instead of what we could be giving.

Do not wait for the sun to set before you are grateful for the day that is before you. Do not wait to receive the gold before you give thanks for the sunlit path beneath your feet. Pray in the morning. Give thanks as the sun rises. Let your soul sing out loud; think, speak and see from the eyes of gratitude; and let your heart give more as each miracle arrives.

Be powerful. Use your ability to be able to be grateful.

Be thankful, every morning, that you are being given another day, another chance―another extraordinary pathway of moments. Tend to the coming of a new day. Know that your gold is wrapped in the colors of a sunrise; grateful that you are here, today, to receive the miracle of dawn.


-Written by Heather K. O'Hara-
________________________________________________________________

On December 3rd, I blogged about "The Reason for My Silence" where I explained how and why I gained 30 pounds since I started blogging. I launched my "I must get back my figure" project on November 5th and by Christmas Eve, I had lost 20 pounds. Between December 24th to December 31st, I regained 3 pounds and by January 20th, I lost 4 pounds and shed another pound by January 24th making it a total loss of 22 pounds.

I am writing this post not to boast about my achievements. Far from it. I intend to lose 40 pounds and am barely halfway there. I hope to lose 30 pounds by April and 40 pounds by August.

This post has a two-fold purpose. Firstly, this will publicly document my progress so that I will not fall back and regain what I have lost. Losing weight is fairly easy. It is maintaining the weight loss that is a real struggle.

Secondly, I hope to encourage other readers/friends to join me in my endeavour to keep fit by maintaining a healthy body weight. Health is the most precious gift we can give ourselves. We only have one life and we have to be really responsible for our health, lifestyle and fitness level lest we pay the price in our old age. By then, it would be a tragedy to use whatever savings/wealth to maintain our health!

Believe me - it is NOT easy. The temptation to eat and to enjoy food or drinks not forgetting desserts is there. There is also laziness that we have to cope with - especially with regards to discipline in maintaining a reasonable level of fitness in our workout which means we need to workout till our heartbeats reach fat-burning levels.

I do not starve myself. All I have been doing is to cut out carbs in my diet and to maintain a pescatarian lifestyle. No oil and only 1 cup of coffee a day with little milk. However, I eat lots of fruits, vegetables, salads (with very little dressing), very little salt and hardly any sauces.

Now, I do not sit for hours on end in front of the computer reading almost every single article from MT, TMI, MK, FMT, WSJ, NYT, The Star and other online portals. When I decided to take charge of my life and to develop a healthy lifestyle, I found a life beyond the laptop again :-) and exercised and did more housework in an attempt to burn more calories. I figured that whilst idealism for a better country is commendable, it cannot be at the expense of my waistline and health! My stand remains the same although I do confess I have been quite rattled by certain developments which left a horrible taste in my mouth hence my silence since my last socio-political post in early January. Of course I will write again on issues that are close to my heart but for now, while trying to lose more weight, I am observing the current developments which seem to have too many sub-plots and smokescreens. When things seem clearer, I will certainly voice my concerns again.

It has been very gratifying to be able to wear the clothes which USED to fit me in the 1990's. Yup - I kept most of my stuff. I am no trendsetter or fashion follower hence my wardrobe is evergreen :-) and will seldom be out of fashion. One cannot go wrong with simplicity.

So if you are like me, let's persevere and reach our set targets not just for aesthetics but more importantly for our well-being.

This is my photo taken at a reunion with some schoolmates at an English afternoon tea on Sunday, 29th January 2012 at Suffolk House (former home of Sir Francis Light).

Here's my photo taken before I started my weight-loss project - fat, double-chinned and dull looking.


The following photo was taken just a week after I started my project after I lost 3 pounds - still big and bulky then.


This one is of me after I lost ten pounds:


I still have a long way to go because I barely crossed the halfway mark with a loss of 22 pounds. However, I will not give up and will push aside the temptation to give myself little treats. One thing is for sure - I do NOT ever want to be fat again and to have tyres around my waistline!!!! To all my friends and loved ones who have been encouraging me, thank you. I could not have done it if not for your positive input!

Take care, dear readers. Do share of your experiences by leaving a comment.

Thanks to reader SKTio who sent me this article written by Junji Takano yesterday. Other readers/friends could also have sent me this article before and I am sorry if I did not mention your name because of my forgetfulness.

Backward RunningMany people in Japan practice walking or running backward. In that way, it burns several times more calories than traditional way of jogging exercise. Aside from this advantage, your balance increases, meaning vision and hearing powers increase, too. It is because you do not have eyes behind you, so the senses pick up the needs.

When I was a small boy in 1940s, I grown up with my grandparents at our mountain farm in Mt. Koya (also means Takano-San in Japanese) near Wakayama prefecture in Japan, planting various vegetables and trees everyday.
My grandparents had to bend their bodies backward in face-up position, whenever they finished planting a few plants. Stretching the body is equivalent to backward exercise vs. Your physical work.

Backward Running

I can remember what my grandparents told me as if it was just yesterday: "To extend your life span with healthy condition physically and mentally, do stretching exercises backwards like I do."

Yes, I saw my parents and grandparents did backward exercises everyday. In fact, my grandparents lived up to 98 years old with healthy condition. My father also lived up to 98 years old, and my mother lived up to 97 years old.

Backward walking is practiced since long time ago especially among elderly people as a part of daily exercise to be mentally and physically fit. This kind of practice is also called retro-exercise.

It's a reasonable and a good way to incorporate another means of exercise to lessen the stress on any given part of the body. This kind of backward movement especially running strengthens the heart, lungs, muscles and joints. I have been recommending backward exercise to our friends from the last 40 years.

It's good for the hips, legs, and trunk. When you go backwards, your stomach will work out like your back and creates a nice reaction for your abdominal. Putting it in reverse for a while is a pretty good deal.

Backward RunningAlso, 100 steps backward walking is equivalent to 1,000 steps conventional walking. Doctors recommend us to walk or do jogging everyday as a part of exercise. But it is too time-consuming for busy businesspeople. A physical exerciser told me that 100 steps backward walking is equivalent to 1,000 steps conventional walking. 1,000 steps walking take a half day work. Many have no such precious time to waste just for jogging or walking especially in the morning. It is also hard to continue everyday.

For backward walking, an important point is not to bend the knee, but it is recommended to try to keep your feet straight or in stretched position. Backward walking does not require long distance, which means you can do it anywhere, at your backyard or at the top of your office building during snack time.


The drawback, of course, is a lack of hindsight. We recommend that newcomers to backward walking or running do it gradually on a track to avoid potholes, signs, cars and other hazards.

Let's walk backward and get physically and mentally healthy.

It has been some time since I wrote anything but this morning, I just want to share my thoughts with you because of a music video of Barbara Streisand that I watched AT THIS LINK. In that video, she said:

" A few years later when I was a grown up, I met someone who touched a deeper place in my heart and it was one of those moments when you realize that love at first sight is possible..."

What is this elusive thing called 'love'?



For the greater part of my life as an educator, I have counselled many teenagers and young adults about boy-girl relationships and many have asked me how to know when it is the 'right' one.

My answer: You just know. Just as you will know when it is NOT the right one. A bit simplistic but to me, it is true.

I cannot deny that I grew up reading fairy tale romances such as Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella etc and whilst I do not subscribe to those sexist stereotypes that a woman needs a man to make her complete and all that jazz, I strongly believe that somewhere out there is someone meant for each one of us.

And when you meet that someone, you just know. Yes, I am one of those who saw stars, fireworks and my legs turned to jelly, heart throbbed at an earth-shattering speed and went all giddy and lovey-dovey from henceforth.

The initial stage would be heavenly and in time, things may not roll out as smoothly. When the crunch comes, a love that lasts will see the couple walking down the aisle to exchange vows that would bind them for life till death do them part.

BUT

The greatest tragedy of life is when one meets that someone, and then in a moment of uncertainty or by a cruel twist of fate of destiny, loses that someone either in a tiff/misunderstanding/parental objection/peer influence etc or walks away etc and then marries someone else either on the rebound or because of poor judgement or thought he/she was making the right decision then. Even if it was love at first sight, it was likely a love that was not strong enough to withstand the challenges faced.

However, I am not saying that one could not be happy with that decision.

Happiness is a state of mind, I believe. It is a choice that we make to will ourselves to be happy by making rational choices. However, far above all that, the fact remains that had we married that special someone, things might (not would) have turned out more beautifully. So, each of us is responsible for the choices we make in our lives.

Regardless of our circumstances, it is our individual responsibility to make the best of our decision,to love,cherish and to nurture the one with whom we have chosen to share our lives.

At the same time, I have also come across some who have never fallen in love before and married out of obligation or a host of other reasons. They often ask me, "What is it like to fall in love? How does it feel? How do you know?" etc etc. Too often, our perception of love is based on what we have been exposed to in the mass media and literature or even words.

Some of my friends/relatives in match-made marriages are in marital bliss because in time, they learnt to love that someone and eventually fell in love with their spouses. Amazingly, some of these people I know are so loving even in their old age!!! That is the power of love for you.

One cannot deny that along the road of life, sometimes one may come across someone who has a strong magnetic pull that comes with shared interests or inclinations. It is up to each individual to step on the brakes to prevent any untoward incidents and to transform that into a friendship that lasts and built on a platform of shared values or ethics. No disclosure is encouraged and yet, one just knows in unspoken words or even in the absence of body language. Much as one may run away, the fact is there. The attraction and magnetism.

However, I firmly believe that if one really loves....one will not have eyes or the heart for anyone else. That is because the acres of one's heart have been devoted to the love of his/her life.

In other words, no matter how strong the magnetism, nothing will happen because fulfilment has been found in the love of his/her life and there is no space for anyone else regardless of the strength of that magnetism or attraction. Or, it could be that both parties consciously will themselves not to stoke the fire!

Yet, one is human and prone to failings. In a moment of weakness, one may buckle and a Freudian slip here and there or when both lock glances across the room or the look in one's eyes or the tone of voice could reveal far more than what was intended. And that is the time to step on the brakes, failing which it could ignite something dangerous.

And perhaps, the lack of will-power or self control or even the need for validation as a man/woman could propel the start of an affair. And what is done cannot be undone.

Having counselled so many from various backgrounds, I can attest to the fact that any broken marriage has long-lasting consequences on the partners but more so on the children and their individual marital status in years to come.

In closing, I just wish to say that yes, one can fall in love at first sight, swoon at the sight or knowledge of one who takes our breath away but at the end of the day - rational and responsible choices are vital in maintaining stability in one's marriage and family. A love that lasts need not be one tailored to story-book romances. He need not be the type to bring you roses or to whisper sweet nothings into your ear. But, a love that lasts is one who loves regardless of whether you are fat or thin, hairy or bald, beautiful or wrinkled...simply put - a love that endures in all circumstances!

But is it that easy?

What are your views and or observations, dear readers?

Brian had asked Dave to help him out with cutting his rather large garden hedge after work, so Dave went straight over to Brian's home.

When they got to the front door, Brian went straight up to his wife, gave her a big hug and told her how beautiful she was and how much he had missed her at work.

When it was time for supper, he complimented his wife on her excellent cooking, kissed her and told her how much he loved her.

Once they were cutting the privet, Dave told Brian that he was surprised that he fussed so much over his wife.

Brian said that he'd started this about six months ago, it had revived their marriage, and things couldn't be better. Dave thought he'd give it a go.

When he got home, he gave his wife a massive hug, kissed her and told her that he loved her, his wife burst into tears, Dave was confused and asked why she was crying.

She said, "This is the worst day of my life, first, little Nigel fell off his bike and twisted his ankle, then the washing machine broke and flooded the basement.

And now, you come home drunk!"

-Author Unknown-

The Secret

Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared.

"Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled. "I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now."

The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime.

"Well, you see my wife and I were married 75 years ago, on our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge.

Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk."

-Author Unknown-


Posted for laughs

God doesn't give you the people you want; He gives you the people you NEED... to help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be.

Women have strengths that amaze men....

They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.

They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in..

They stand up to injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.

They have compassion and ideas.

They give moral support to their family and friends.

Women have vital things to say and everything to give..

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,

IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

Please pass this along to all your women friends and relatives to remind them just how amazing they are.

To all the women out there, God bless you!!!

To all the men out there, God bless you all too!!