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Have a great day!

The best way to feel better about yourself is by making a positive difference in someone else's life.

We are all citizens of the same planet and we should always remember that one man's collateral damage is another man's son or daughter.


You might have seen this before but it is still worth watching it again especially for teachers.

It will touch your heart & indeed there's a lesson to be learned !!

Don't miss this one... you won't Forget This Lesson !!!

CLICK HERE to watch the movie and then make a difference today....for someone...anyone.

Thanks to Mr SKT who shared this link. I only posted the text version years ago. This version is much more effective. Happy viewing!

I hope my blog posts/classes have made a tiny difference to your life....God bless you.

A voyaging ship was wrecked during a storm at sea and only two of the men on it were able to swim to a small, desert like island. The two survivors, not knowing what else to do, agree that they had no other recourse but to pray to God. However, to find out whose prayer was more powerful, they agreed to divide the territory between them and stay on opposite sides of the island.

The first thing they prayed for was food. The next morning, the first man saw a fruit-bearing tree on his side of the land and he was able to eat it’s fruit. The other man’s parcel of land remained barren!

After a week, the first man was lonely and he decided to pray for a wife. The next day, there was a woman who swam to his side of the land. On the other side of the island, again there was nothing!

Soon the first man prayed for a house, clothes, more food. The next day, like magic, all of these were given to him. However, the second man still had nothing!

Finally, the first man prayed for a ship, so that he and his wife could  leave the island. In the morning, he found a ship docked at his side of the island. The first man boarded the ship with his wife and decided to leave the second man on the island. He considered the other man unworthy to receive God’s blessings, since none of his prayers had been answered.

As the ship was about to leave, the first man heard a voice from heaven booming, “Why are you leaving your companion on the island?”

“My blessings are mine alone, since I was the one who prayed for them,” the first man answered. “His prayers were all unanswered and so he does not deserve anything.”

“You are mistaken!” the voice rebuked him. “He had only one prayer, which I answered. If not for that, you would not have received any of my blessings.”

“Tell me, O God,” the first man asked the voice, “What did he pray for that I should owe him anything?”

“He prayed that all your prayers be answered.”

For all we know, our blessings are not the fruits of our prayers alone, but those of another praying for us.

My prayer for you today is that all your prayers are answered. Be blessed.

“What you do for others is more important than what you do for yourself.”

-Author Unknown-

A boy ran home to his mother, wailing because he had not made it to the final sports team.

“They said I was too short for it. My stature is not enough for the sport.”

The mother embraced the sobbing child and whispered into his ear, “In sports, my dear, the size of the individual is not as important as the importance of the sport in the individual.”

The message was subtle, but it did not escape the boy.

From the very next day, he rose early and went for practice. His intense desire to become an expert and his concentrated effort culminated into the desired result.

The stature of the sport grew so large in his life that the next year his small physique was no longer an obstacle. He had secured a place on the team.

This little boy, Michael Jordan, went on in life to become a great basketball player, a champion!

-Author Unknown-

Thanks to Mr. SKT who sent me the following post:

As you probably recall, the Dead Sea is really a Lake, not a sea (and as my Geography teacher pointed out, if you understood that, it would guarantee 4 marks in the term paper!)

It’s so high in salt content that the human body can float easily. You can almost lie down and read a book! The salt in the Dead Sea is as high as 35% - almost 10 times the normal ocean water. And all that saltiness has meant that there is no life at all in the Dead Sea. No fish. No vegetation. No sea animals. Nothing lives in the Dead sea.

And hence the name: Dead Sea.

While the Dead Sea has remained etched in my memory, I don't seem to recall learning about the Sea of Galilee in my school Geography lesson. So when I heard about the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea and the tale of the two seas - I was intrigued.

Turns out that the Sea of Galilee is just north of the Dead Sea. Both the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea receive their water from river Jordan. And yet, they are very, very different.

Unlike the Dead Sea, the Sea of Galilee is pretty, resplendent with rich, colorful marine life. There are lots of plants. And lots of fish too. In fact, the sea of Galilee is home to over twenty different types of fishes.

Same region, same source of water, and yet while one sea is full of life, the other is dead. How come?

Here’s apparently why. The River Jordan flows into the Sea of Galilee and then flows out. The water simply passes through the Sea of Galilee in and then out - and that keeps the Sea healthy and vibrant, teeming with marine life.

But the Dead Sea is so far below the mean sea level, that it has no outlet. The water flows in from the river Jordan, but does not flow out. There are no outlet streams. It is estimated that over 7 million tons of water evaporate from the Dead Sea every day. Leaving it salty. Too full of minerals. And unfit for any marine life.

The Dead Sea takes water from the River Jordan, and holds it. It does not give. Result? No life at all.

Think about it.

Life is not just about getting. Its about giving. We all need to be a bit like the Sea of Galilee.

We are fortunate to get wealth, knowledge, love and respect. But if we don't learn to give, we could all end up like the Dead Sea. The love and the respect, the wealth and the knowledge could all evaporate. Like the water in the Dead Sea.

If we get the Dead Sea mentality of merely taking in more water, more money, more everything the results can be disastrous. Good idea to make sure that in the sea of your own life, you have outlets. Many outlets. For love and wealth - and everything else that you get in your life. Make sure you don't just get, you give too.

 Open the taps. And you'll open the floodgates to happiness.

Make that a habit.

To share.  To give. And experience life.

-Author Unknown-

This inspiring story is about Bruce Lee, a legendary martial art master.

“Bruce had me up to three miles a day, really at a good pace. We’d run the three miles in twenty-one or twenty-two minutes. Just under eight minutes a mile [Note: when running on his own in 1968, Lee would get his time down to six-and-a half minutes per mile].

So this morning he said to me “We’re going to go five.” I said, “Bruce, I can’t go five. I’m a helluva lot older than you are, and I can’t do five.” He said, “When we get to three, we’ll shift gears and it’s only two more and you’ll do it.”

I said “Okay, hell, I’ll go for it.” So we get to three, we go into the fourth mile and I’m okay for three or four minutes, and then I really begin to give out. I’m tired, my heart’s pounding, I can’t go any more and so I say to him, “Bruce if I run any more,” –and we’re still running-” if I run any more I’m liable to have a heart attack and die.”

He said, “Then die.” It made me so mad that I went the full five miles.

Afterward I went to the shower and then I wanted to talk to him about it. I said, you know, “Why did you say that?”

He said, “Because you might as well be dead. Seriously, if you always put limits on what you can do, physical or anything else, it’ll spread over into the rest of your life. It’ll spread into your work, into your morality, into your entire being. There are no limits. There are plateaus, but you must not stay there, you must go beyond them. If it kills you, it kills you. A man must constantly exceed his level.”

Taken from The Art of Expressing the Human Body by Bruce Lee, John Little

There was once a farmer who discovered that he had lost his watch in the barn. It was no ordinary watch because it had sentimental value for him.

After searching high and low among the hay for a long time; he gave up and enlisted the help of a group of young children playing outside the barn. He promised them that the person who found it would be rewarded.

Hearing this the children hurried inside the barn, went through and around the entire stack of hay but still could not find the watch.

Just when the farmer was about to give up looking for his watch a little boy went up to him and asked to be given another chance.

The farmer looked at him and thought “why not? After all this kid looks sincere enough.” So the farmer sent the little boy back in the barn.

After a little while the boy came out with the watch in his hand! The farmer was both happy and surprised and so he asked the boy how he succeeded while the others had failed.

The boy replied,”I did nothing but sit on the ground and listen. In the silence I heard the ticking of the watch and just looked for it in that direction.”

MORAL: A peaceful mind can think better than a worked up mind. Allow a few minutes of silence to your mind every day, and see, how sharply it helps you to set your life the way you expect it to be…!

A crab was once running on the sea shore, and was admiring its beautiful footprints…

Just then a huge wave splashed and washed away the footprints.

The crab said to the wave, “I considered you as one of my best friends, then what made you do this?”

The wave replied, “A fisherman was following your footprints; that is why I cleared them off.”

Things are not always the way the seem on face value… 

Relationships bring caring beyond the other's imagination!

Author unknown-

More than 14 years ago, I sat patiently I sat in the waiting room of my gyny's clinic waiting for my turn. Before me was a leggy beauty who looked quite familiar...I was not sure who she was until it was my turn to see the doctor.

As always, I greeted my doctor and after the usual procedures, she asked me if I knew the patient. Naturally, I said she was vaguely familiar and that she could be an undergraduate. Later on, I was told that the beauty was studying in Australia and was pregnant. However, her boyfriend had abandoned her and she had decided to go through the pregnancy and put up her baby for adoption to barren couple who wanted to adopt the baby. She did not come home for a year and stayed at a friend's home to hide her pregnancy. Apparently, she graduated, became very successful in the corporate world in another Asian country and recently married an expatriate. She is smart, lucky, successful and most importantly, gave that love child a chance to live. But not all have such happy endings.

Last Sunday, a twenty year old unwed mother flung her newborn out of the window of her third floor apartment at the Desa Mentari Apartments in Petaling Jaya after hiding her pregnancy for months. Who killed the baby?

Check out the following editorial taken from HERE.

SHE hid her pregnancy for many agonising months. But when she finally gave birth, her “secret” unravelled in the most horrifying way when she flung her newborn out of the window of her third floor apartment.

On the surface, the infant was killed by her 20-year-old unwed mother. But look deeper and it is actually shame that took away that little baby's life.

Because this almost unimaginable act which took place on Sunday in the Desa Mentari Apartments in Petaling Jaya is an indictment of how our society treats unmarried mothers and babies born out of wedlock.

The 20-year-old, a factory worker, is not the first mother to kill her child in such a horrifying way. Last October, a 19-year-old restaurant trainee also threw her baby out of her second floor apartment in Selayang. That baby too was alive when he was thrown out. Other women have resorted to trying to flush their infants down toilets, throwing them into dumpsters or simply abandoning them.

Each time it happens, we start our litany on declining morals, lack of religious knowledge and negligent parents.

Then, we follow up with a chorus on the need for spiritual guidance, sex education and vigilance. We even set up a few baby hatches for mothers to leave their unwanted offspring.

If the “soft” approach didn't work, the authorities can threaten to charge these young mothers with murder, and judges can mete out heavy deterrent punishments.

We have done this song and dance repeatedly, but the same scenes keep playing a girl hides her pregnancy, gives birth alone and the baby is abandoned or dies. The child is either discovered mercifully alive or tragically dead and then the ensuing uproar.

In the last five years, more than 400 cases of abandoned babies have been reported and the mothers are almost always teenage girls.

We can be outraged all we want, and focus our anger at these young women.

But ultimately, it is we who have failed these girls.

These baby-dumping cases are direct indictments of our failure to recognise and address our blinkered approach to young people's sexuality. We teach and preach to our children that they should abstain from premarital sex, and expect them to obey blindly. Then, we clam up and do not talk about sex to them, as though acknowledging its existence would be some form of consent for them to engage in sex.

It has only created an unforgiving environment where pregnant girls would not seek help for fear of bringing shame to their families, and risk the community's condemnation.

We do this vigorously, even as our children are inundated with sexually-charged messages through the media and Internet, and even with so much evidence of young people being sexually active.

We offer them no strategy other than abstinence. We terrorise our children especially girls into being ashamed of their bodies and sexuality.

It is a scenario that creates a veil of ignorance, and the result are babies born out of unwanted pregnancies.

Sure, we can continue to be in denial and think that engaging in premarital sex is a moral issue. But young people being sexually active really is a public health matter that requires pragmatic policies.

The reality is our young do not have easy access to reproductive health information and services; some of these young mothers didn't even know they were pregnant. There are also few facilities and services for them to learn about and prevent unwanted pregnancies, and protect themselves from sexually transmitted diseases.

But beyond all that, we need to stop the condemnation and do what is right by our children. We need to end the shame, remove the stigma and instead offer compassion and support when they need it most.

What makes people happy? Happiness is perceived differently by every person. Here is a very good article by D.K. Matai on What Makes People Happy? Ten Key Trends that was first posted in The Market Oracle. Thanks to Angela who sent me the article. Have a happy day today and everyday!

What Makes People Happy? Ten Key Trends by D.K. Matai

What's happiness? Does it really exist? Can happiness last? How does one become happy? How many people do you know that are really happy? What are the habits of happy people and the principles that might be at the root of their happiness? We asked ATCA 5000 distinguished members over the last several months and here are some of the results that we distilled from those one-to-one conversations around the world.

1. Happy people say YES more than they say NO

Happy people always seem to be doing something new and interesting. When invitations come their way, happy people have cultivated the habit of saying yes. The more they say yes, the more opportunities are presented to them.

2. Happy people LAUGH, JOKE and have a SENSE OF HUMOUR

Happiness can come in the form of a quiet smile yet it is bound to burst out into a laugh occasionally. Happy people appear to appreciate the lighter side of life. They don’t take themselves or anything else too seriously. They laugh often and wholeheartedly. They joke, laugh about every little thing and make themselves the butt of their jokes more often than anybody else. Happy people are easily amused.

3. Happy people say THANK YOU! They Live with a Feeling of GRATITUDE

Happy people have the habit of saying thank you: a regular gratitude practice that helps them to make note of their blessings and what others have done for them. Other happy people are just constantly saying thank you for small gifts, favours, well wishes or compliments. They may give thanks before every meal or send you texts after every lunch or dinner engagement. When they focus on actually feeling true gratitude, they are already open and fluid in regard to receiving and welcoming absolutely new perspectives. Instead of slipping into negative thinking about what they don’t have, happy people appear to stay positive in regard to what they do have. They constantly recognise the blessings and gifts in their lives. Another good reason for people to be grateful and focus on their blessings is that all it takes is three negative thoughts in a row before that triggers a "fight-or-flight" chemical response in most human beings.

4. Happy people SPEAK WELL of OTHERS more often than not

It is not a coincidence that happy people also tend to be remarkably polite, considerate, punctual and non-judgemental. Does being nice feel better than being nasty? Indulging in negative gossip with a friend or work colleague may be fun for a little while, but in the end the result can be a residue of resentment and guilt. All the remarkably happy people ATCA 5000 distinguished members have cited appear constantly to say positive things about other people behind their back. They also want to make their colleagues a part of their lives and want them to meet their friends and loved ones including their families.

5. Happy people LISTEN

The favourite people of ATCA 5000 distinguished members appear to be very good listeners. They don’t rush to offer judgment or help and they might not even tell their colleagues that they know exactly how they feel – especially if they don’t! They just listen, openly without any assumptions. This gift-of-listening that they give to their friends and work colleagues also seems to contribute to their own happiness. It would appear that the best thing we can all do to enrich our own life and our relationships is to listen more closely and to be attentive more often. Taking the time to listen helps us also to learn and to evolve our own understanding of this world and the people around us. It keeps our mind open to wisdom and to new perspectives at all times. When we focus on deep listening, we automatically take our own ego out of the equation and are less likely to be hurt or offended by what we hear.

6. Happy people BELIEVE IN SOMETHING and they LET GO OF CONTROL

CLICK HERE to read the rest of the entry.

I was one of more than 300 runners in the NSA Armed Forces Week 5K run in Fort Meade, Maryland. It was pretty crowded at the start, but things thinned out after about five minutes or so, and I took my bearings.

Perhaps 200 yards ahead of me was a group of maybe eight Marines or so who were obviously running together. I decided that a good goal would be to beat them, which seemed reasonable, as I am a macho Air Force Chaplain and they were only a bunch of United States Marines.

I kept them in sight for the next couple of miles, but the longer the race went on, the younger those guys got. It became apparent to me in the last half mile that I was not going to catch them, and I resigned myself to finishing well behind them.

Then I noticed that one of their number was struggling and was gradually dropping off the pace. I panted out a word of encouragement as I caught him and realized that he was not about to give up.

Within 100 yards of the finish line I saw a strange sight. The entire group of Marines made a U-turn in the road and was running back towards me. As they ran past me I noted their well-chiseled muscles and the determined set of their jaws.

I glanced over my shoulder in time to see them rally around their buddy to provide the emotional support of the team so that they could all finish together. I was impressed. No way would they leave a struggling comrade behind.

As I entered the finishing chute I murmured a prayer. "God, I'm glad those guys are on our side."

And so it was that I learned a theological truth from the U.S. Marines that is as vivid as any my seminary professors ever taught.

"If anyone sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."

I witnessed "a few good men" in action. They reminded me of the strength of being a team, and that words without actions are pretty much useless. Thanks, Marines.

~ The author is Chaplain (Lt Col) Dwight Johnson who at the time he wrote this story he was stationed at Fort Meade, Maryland ~

The "Homeless" Man

It was a frigid Sunday morning. The parking lot to the church was filling up quickly. I noticed as I got out of my car that fellow church members were whispering with each other as they walked to the church.

As I got closer, I saw a man sitting against the wall outside the church. He was almost laying down, as if he were asleep. He had on an old crumpled coat with the hood over his head that was pulled down so you could not see his face. He had a blanket wrapped around his legs, and a much used coffee cup in front of him for anyone that would put change into it.

I assumed this man was homeless, and asleep, so I walked on by through the doors of the church. We began to fellowship and someone brought up the man laying outside. People snickered but no one put money in his cup much less bothered to ask him to come in, including me. A few moments later church began. We all waited for the minister to take his place and the service to begin.

When the doors to the church opened, in came the homeless man walking slowly down the aisle with his head down. People gasped and whispered and made faces. He made his way down the aisle. But he didn't take a seat, he kept going to the pulpit and pulled down the hood and took off his coat.

My heart sank. There stood our minister. He was the "homeless man." No one said a word. The minister took his Bible and laid it on the stand.

"Folks, I don't think I have to tell you what I am preaching about today."

~ Author Unknown ~

A California institute demonstrates how people can actually make their heart beat in a healthier way. Through its research, the Institute of HeartMath proves that health starts with love, and that love can reduce stress. It is a method that is used by hundreds of thousands of people worldwide and more than 100 organizations–from global corporations to hospitals to government agencies and schools. This simple method is changing the world. A report from Boulder Creek, California.

Jurriaan Kamp | June 2005 issue

All you need is love, sang John Lennon.

True, according to most people.

The only challenge: how do you create love?

A quite startlingly simple answer was found to that question in the redwood forests of Boulder Creek, California, south of San Francisco. Since 1991, the Institute of HeartMath has generated a large body of convincing scientific evidence that it is indeed possible to create love. HeartMath’s research shows that emotions work much faster, and are more powerful, than thoughts. And that—when it comes to the human body—the heart is much more important than the brain to overall health and well-being—even cognitive function—than anyone but poets believed. Its dominance inside the body is now clearly demonstrated. Thinking clearly with your brain is useful. But feeling positively from your heart provides an amazing boost to health and creativity.

Briefly re-experiencing a cherished memory creates synchronization in your heart rhythm in mere seconds. This increases the release of healthy, energizing hormones, while at the same time decreasing levels of damaging stress hormones, at the same time your immune system is strengthened, blood pressure decreases … and health and focus increase. Using a simple prescription that consists of a number of exercises that anyone can do anywhere in a few minutes—the details are coming shortly—HeartMath is successfully battling the greatest threat to health, happiness and peace in this world: stress.

Stress is the plague of our time, an epidemic that is spreading rapidly. The World Health Organization (WHO) raised the alarm 20 years ago, but things have only gotten worse. Every day some one million Americans fail to come to work due to stress. The European Union estimated in 2000 that the annual price tag of stress, in the form of healthcare costs and lost productivity, amounts to some three to four percent of the EU’s gross domestic product. Stress is one of the most important causes of high blood pressure, which afflicts one in three adults in Europe and North America and is the cause of many serious illnesses such as heart disease and stroke. Stress also lies at the basis of depression and burnout.

“The good news is that the negative effects of stress can be effectively countered more easily than people might imagine. This leads to better performance in every aspect of life. It is therefore a smart strategy for every organization to tackle this source of excessive costs and human strain,” according to HeartMath’s president and CEO Bruce Cryer.

That insight has now permeated many companies and institutions. Managers are sent to stress seminars. Yoga lessons are offered at company headquarters. And there are even companies that encourage their employees to take vacations. But these measures aren’t very effective as long as stress continues to permeate the corporate culture. The sense of relief from a yoga lesson or a weekend at the beach is often lost during the first chat with a frustrated colleague at the coffee machine. A successful anti-stress strategy provides results precisely at the moment the stress is experienced. This is what HeartMath does, which is why its client list now includes such leading companies as Hewlett Packard, Shell, Unilever, Cisco Systems, and Boeing.

HeartMath was established in 1991 by Doc Lew Childre. Childre had made a name for himself as a researcher and advisor to companies and scientific institutions. With the founding of HeartMath, he embarked on his mission to demonstrate that the heart was central to human health, success and fulfillment. While HeartMath’s techniques emphasize the importance of emotional self-management, HeartMath is no new age phenomenon. It is a research institute that in the space of nearly 15 years has published a large body of scientific research in established and respected publications such as the Harvard Business Review and the American Journal of Cardiology. Those publications support HeartMath’s central aim of presenting revolutionary scientific discoveries in a solid, “bullet proof” way. It has demonstrated significant cost savings for healthcare organizations struggling with staff turnover, and has shown significant health benefits in an array of studies covering congestive heart failure, diabetes, asthma, and hypertension. As Cryer says, “HeartMath is not based simply on belief. There are proven physiological reactions in how emotion, heart and brain interact.” In other words: HeartMath’s work is kept scrupulously free of the obvious potential for opportunism.

Which is admirable given that financing and survival issues have presented tricky challenges for the organization through the years. HeartMath’s location reflects this cautious strategy. The institute is located in a group of buildings on a lovely retreat-like setting in Boulder Creek, a town that is nearly impossible to find among the tall trees of the ancient Californian forests. Stress and Boulder Creek have little to do with one another, I realize, following a drive through the pouring rain. And yet the decision to locate HeartMath here was not so odd. Forty-five minutes down the road is a well-known hotbed of this “modern plague:” Silicon Valley.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE.

An attitude of gratitude leads to positive thinking. Attitude is absolutely vital for greater achievement in life; maximized motivation for success and peaceful content in life. Truly, it perspective shapes our reality and future. Each of us has the ability to shape our thought processes and the course of action. All it takes is attitude.

Having appreciation for what we have, who and where we are will help us to improve, achieve more and strive for the highest. To do this, positive thinking is really vital.

And it needs an attitude of gratitude. We have to be careful not to be grateful only during a crisis but to be thankful all the time.

Realign Your Focus!

Develop positivity instead of negativity because the latter energizes you while the former cripples you.

Keep a Count Your Blessing list handy and refer to it. Constant reference to this list will help us to have an attitude of gratitude.

-Author Unknown-

Have a great day!

I am sure you would agree that there have been moments in our lives when we wished that we had done or said this and that and peerhaps even blame ourselves for not doing enough in our lives. In such vulnerable moments, it is easy to martyr ourselves. That self-destruction mode must be put to an end! Life is about living and cherishing precious moments, not about the losses or mistakes we made.

Lately, I have so much time on my hands which is why I am writing twice a day in my blog - a sharp contrast indeed to the period when I wrote like maybe once a month because I was too saddened by the events in my country. During my moments of reflection, I realized that the tendency to accentuate the negative and to put ourselves down can be traced to our Asian culture and the attempt to remain modest.

Well, for this evening's post, I am going to lead you down memory lane to think of those unforgettable moments in your life...and hopefully to inspire and to remind you that you are a unique person in this world who has blessed many others with your words, actions, thoughts and most of all....your life solely because of who you are.

Do you remember the time when you were there to help your brother or sister when they fell down, hurt themselves or were hurt by others? The times when you gave up your favorite candy or eraser or something precious for them just so that they could smile again and then when they did, you smiled?

Can you recall the time when you felt so weak and yet courageous enough to be present during the last moments when your loved one passed away and how you cried your eyes out and willed yourself to be strong? Then, you found the strength to hold on to the beautiful memories even though sometimes these made you cry? In doing so, you found peace within yourself and moved on...albeit without them beside you anymore. Still, you could do it because they will always remain in your heart.

If you are a woman, do you remember when you gave birth and when you went through before and after the birth of your children? If you are a man, can you remember how you held your wife's hand when you were there for your child’s birth? What about how we survived conflicts with our spouses, children and family members and could still continue to love them?

What about the way you dealt with the challenges in your life? Some of us may have been raised with certain negative patterns of behavior in the family but chose not to continue the cycle. Then there could be others like me who have been challenged with an illness and became healthy again. Some of us could be pet lovers so let us not forget how we survived the death of our beloved pet and could continue to have acres of love for new pets.

Then there could be some of us who were always there for our friends, listening to their struggles and pains and doing whatever we could to help them through their divorce or when they lost their bearings in life...

I am sure some of us have lived through losing a job and then appreciating that it brought us on a new path, one which we would not have chosen if that had not happened to us...and then as we breathe again at the memory of it all, we realize so much about ourselves, about people....

Others could have been through very bad times such as a natural disaster or a financial crisis and walked out of that situation with a stronger connection to humanity as we learn to value things and to appreciate people at a different level from before.

Perhaps some of us, through disappointments and failure, have mastered the art of acknowledging others who are better than ourselves, because of humility that we developed along the journey of life. I guess we became greater when we stopped putting the blame on others and taking more responsibility for our own lives and to detach ourselves from toxic characters bent on hurting us.

I guess if we sit down and reflect on the years gone by, we can be more aware of how we have achieved personal growth such as in the area of communication, or even the way we look at life, ourselves and to deal with whatever cognitive dissonance which may occur. Then, as we take stock, we will realize that we charted our own lives, gave of ourselves, love so much in spite of what others say simply because we dared, we cared and we want to love....

At the end of the day, it is all up to us to give a resounding “YES” to life and in doing so, we gain so much for ourselves because we will become much wiser, stronger, smarter with a greater sense of humor and a huge capacity to love ourselves and others.

So dear reader, when there are times you feel down and out, remember the melting moments of your life...how you loved, were loved and the love you leave behind in the hearts of others...Don't forget you have found your way to live, to love, to make a difference and to give back to others because you want to and not because you have to...

YOU ARE SPECIAL!!!! And please don't forget that!

Have a lovely weekend!

Have you ever been hurt by another person in your life? Have you ever suffered because of a thoughtless remark, rumours or fabrications of truth or the agony of infidelity or betrayal? If you have, then you know what it feels like to be hurt. We are only human and it is natural and most tempting to hold on to such negative feelings and to build a veneer of hardness around yourself to protect yourself from other such incidents that could inflict more hurts and pain. However, the best way to heal is to forgive the person who hurt us, no matter how difficult. For some, it may take years whereas it may be quite easy for others.

Many religions teach us to forgive. And why so? When we forgive others, I believe that it simply means that we consciously decide not to let their actions or words affect us negatively. In other words, we do not allow ourselves to feel anger, pain, bitterness, or resentment. Conversely, if we choose not to forgive, it then means that we are consciously or unconsciously making a decision to hold on to our feelings of resentment, anger, and pain.

Sometimes one wonders why one should forgive - especially when one is not at fault. If we regard forgiveness as a benefit that we allow ourselves to enjoy because it frees us from anger and allows us to restore close and satisfying relationships with others, then it is not a real chore.

Research has shown that many patients with all kinds of ailments or diseases actually suffer from deep unforgiveness that have been developed from different experiences in their lives. Anger is a potently lethal emotion that comes from being hurt. If we are filled with anger and bitterness, we are hurting inside as much as it hurts the person who has harmed us. It is as if we are filled with some toxic element which can devour us from within if they are not dealt with in the right manner so we can either choose to feed those negative and deadly feelings or to forgive the person who harmed us. Actually, when we choose not to forgive, we are hurting ourselves the most because the pain gnaws us and plagues us in many ways.

We are not saints on this earth. I have to admit it is not easy to forgive. It took me years to forgive my mother for dying when I was 11 years old. I was angry because I did not have her with me when I went through my teenage angst. I was hurting when my mother was not there when I got married. I was broken-hearted when I had my kids and she was not there to see her grandchildren. The pain of losing her was and still is very deep and even as I type this, I still miss her and am very misty-eyed.

When we choose to forgive, we must realize that it does not mean we will never again feel the pain or remember the thing that hurt us. The emotionally painful experience is remembered. At the same time, when we decide to forgive, we are not suppressing these feelings of anger, rather, we are acknowledging those feelings and then learning from those experiences while letting go of whatever or whoever hurt us.

We are also not celestial beings and have no right to moralize as to who is right or wrong in a case. I believe we need to recognize our personal responsibility in each situation and to know that when we forgive, it is not that we are closing one eye to a person's act/words or giving that person the license to persist in that form of behavior. Rather, it means we do not want to be bound by that situation and we free ourselves from it and do not allow that person/s to have a hold over our lives be it in the form of fear or resentment. In forgiving, it is also up to us whether we choose to continue the relationship or to keep our distance. The choice is ours.

Sometimes, it pays if we are honest with ourselves. If we are hurt, angry or unhappy, just admit it!

Suppressing such feelings can cause other problems in the future, including a build-up of negative feelings.

To be honest, I do have a fiery temper and may hurt others with my words when I lash out. Older and wiser, I have learnt to and try to control what I say to be sure that I do not hurt others. Thus, the old advice to take deep breaths when one is angry is really most helpful in challenging situations.

Empathy helps a lot. Seeing the situation from the other person’s point of view can help us develop compassion instead of anger. Guess what? I learnt this from my older son. Once, in an argument, he told me, "Mom, you've been telling me how you feel but have you given any thought to how I feel?" I was stunned. Looking back, I wish I had been more patient with him and know that it was not easy to have me for a mother. I don't make the same mistakes with my younger one and my older boy always says that he is the guinea pig of my parenting experiment and his younger brother is enjoying the lessons I learnt.

Yup, my boy and I went through a difficult journey to discover ourselves, to love each other and most importantly, to forgive one another. In my recovery stage, I spent many moments thinking about the ways in which I had erred and had to consciously decide not to blame myself but to forgive myself for the pain I inflicted on my son. Today, he and I have a very beautiful relationship which I treasure very much. I try not to look back at the past which was filled with hurts. Sometimes, I still do and then I am filled with regret. When that happens, I have to steer myself out of the abyss of regret into the road to the future and to be thankful for the many years ahead that I can share with my older boy. In fact, he always reminds me to leave the past behind.

There have been times when I tried to understand why it is so easy to hurt the people we love. We must also realize that our loved ones may not know why too. At this point of writing this post, I remember "Hurting Each Other" by Carpenters.

Can't we stop hurting each other

Gotta stop hurting each other

Making each other cry

Breaking each other's heart

Tearing each other apart

That is why it has to begin with us. When one party forgives, chances are the other party will acquiesce and there will be healing in the relationship. If they do not react positively, it does not matter. What matters is that we forgive that person and also we forgive ourselves.

I am not going to sermonize as to how to forgive, what to do. I am still learning but in this post, I just want to share my thoughts with you, dear reader, from the bottom of my heart....

From my experience, it is only when we have let go of the pain and released ourselves from past hurts that we can feel a greater sense of freedom and well-being. Then only can we be free to move on in life without bitterness and resentment. We would have left the hurts and our past behind and would be able to look forward with expectancy.

Have a great day!

You can feel it, something just doesn't feel right. It can happen at any time, you could be having tea with a friend, or in a meeting with your co-workers but you definitely get the feeling that all that is to know is not being shared. Your reaction varies, you first say "no, I am just imaging this" and then that switches to "there is something I just can't put my finger on it, someone is definitely hiding something from me." What do you do?

First, when you get the feeling something isn't right or that someone is hiding something from you, realize you are probably right, it is called intuition. Some people think that intuition is having some sort of psychic abilities and although that can be a part of it, intuition is actually defined by Webster's Dictionary as a comprehension without effort of reasoning; instinctive knowledge. Intuition is a very powerful and real aspect that a person has. Over time it is can be developed and a person can learn to follow it and it will be a great source becoming in tune with your true feelings.

When we learn to trust what our gut is trying to tell us life can become a little confusing. If you feel someone is hiding something or that all the information is not being made available it is ok to ask and be up front about your feelings. It is important to try to stay calm and try not to accuse anyone of trying to be deceitful. Many times when something is being held back it is because someone is trying to protect your feelings or the timing of the information being released isn't right. This does cause some doubt and it is normal.

Try and think about a time when you have held information or something that could cause someone pain. You know you weren't trying to purposefully cause pain, it was actually the opposite. You cared so much about the other person; you felt it was best to hide it. Now there are times when people are being deceitful and your intuition will tell you that. It is really all how you handle the situation.

When you know your inner core values and beliefs, you will know when someone hiding something from you is either in or out of alignment with what you stand for. You are a beautiful unique person. When your core values are being stepped on your intuition will let you know and you can act appropriately. When in a situation where you are trying to decide how to deal with this unsettling feeling do a quick metal check list:

1) Is the information that I feel is being hidden from me something I must know - if the answer is no trust it will be given to you when the time is right. An example of this is "Did this person get a promotion and they just aren't telling me?" This is a question that you don't have to have the answer to right now.

2) If the answer is yes, you want to know the information right now, decide how you want to react to the situation if you do receive information and it isn't pleasant news. An example of this is "I think this person is hiding that they may be sick with an illness." You may want to know this right at the time so you can offer your help. The reality is the person may be trying to come to terms with what they are keeping in before they share with you. Your reaction to the news could actually make them feel worse.

3) Once you decide how to appropriately handle the information you must do a real honest evaluation and decide if you can stay true to how you want to handle the situation. Sometimes when you get news that you are emotionally tied to it is difficult to stay in your higher self mode. You may only be able to react. If you feel the information could set you off it is best to wait until you can honestly say to yourself you will act in a way that honors you and your core values. The goal is to keep your integrity and your self-esteem intact so be honest with how you feel you will react before you start asking for the information. Every one of us is human, sometimes we don't act the way we want to. Try and be honest with yourself and make the "higher" decision and then act accordingly to have you want to be viewed.

To recap, if you feel someone is hiding something from you, take a quick scan of what you want. Do you really need the information now? Do you think you will handle the information appropriately? Can you stay in alignment with the who you are and how you want to be seen by others. When you have clarity on this you will be able to proceed in the best way for you. Remember to always try and reach for the best situation.

Author's Bio
About Mary Owens International LLC

Mary Owens is your Connection Queen~ empowering you to connect to your deep thoughts, feelings, values, and desires so you create the life of your dreams! Mary Owens received a Master's in Social Work from the University of Denver in 1997. She is a part of the Quantum Success Coaching Academy as a Law of Attraction Life Coach and will be receiving her certification in 2009. She helps people go from where they are in their lives to where they want to be by using the laws of the universe. She coaches one on one with the great teacher and one of the stars of THE SECRET, Bob Proctor. She currently studies in group settings with James Ray who is also one of the stars of the movie. She has spent years studying the laws of the universe and how they play a part of our lives and relationships. For more information go to THIS LINK!

When we want to improve our lives we set an intention of what we would like and then we look for results. We may have visualized the result and taken some actions. Why do our intentions fall short of our desired results? Maybe it’s a little thing called “counter intention.”

Counter Intention is a belief we hold in direct opposition to our conscious intention buried in our subconscious mind. We may for example have intent to weigh less. In the subconscious we may have a belief if we look good and attract more partners than we will have to be more intimate, yet we fear intimacy.

So which intent will win? Our subconscious or counter intention always wins because it has the greater power.

The conflict sets up an energy block within us and since our subconscious has the greater power we end up getting the opposite of our conscious intent. The energy system within our body changes polarity - a Psychological Reversal. All self-sabotage results from Psychological Reversal.

We can compare Psychological Reversal to positive and negative batteries in a flashlight. They need to be properly installed for the flashlight to work. Polarity change means the positive and negative energy systems in our body have been switched and we get the opposite of our conscious choices.

Psychological Reversal occurs when our subconscious mind believes it is better for us to keep our chronic pain, extra weight, or bad habit rather than change.
The following explains in brief detail how our inner child, Shadow, or victim consciousness may sabotage our success.

Cathryn Taylor a counselor and author of The Inner Child Workbook explains how our inner child can sabotage us. Our inner child sabotages our efforts to succeed in an attempt to protect us from failure . . . it fears our success! It fears our being too powerful. It is frightened we will get hurt.

Our Shadow sabotages us when we deny it and push feelings and behaviors we dislike down into our subconscious. As Carl Jung said the Shadow is, The negative side of the personality, the sum of all those unpleasant qualities we like to hide, together with the insufficiently developed functions. For example, intense reactions to others may indicate the same qualities within ourselves we refuse to face.

According to John O’Neill, The Paradox of Success, our Shadow can sabotage success by an imbalanced focus on acquiring power, inappropriate sexual relations, overly pursuing money, or addictive behavior. Do any famous people come to mind?
Finally, our victim mentality sabotages us through subconscious thoughts of being unworthy and powerless. Victims fail to recognize themselves as victims to their own critical thoughts and beliefs.

CREATING STRESS AND SELF-SABOTAGE

Janie Behr, a life coach, talks about ways we create self-sabotage. She says, Over reacting to stressful situations is a form of self-sabotage that causes emotional stress. Do you know people who create unnecessary conflicts and emotional drama?
Do you engage in a lot of negative self-talk inside your head? Do you interpret positive events as negative? Do you sabotage yourself by creating self-fulfilling prophecies to prove your negative beliefs? You can learn how to change the negative self-talk into positive self-talk

Do you sabotage your relationships by being aggressive rather than assertive? Do you know the difference between aggressive and assertive? Do you let others walk all over you for fear of saying no and sabotage your own self-esteem? You can learn how to be assertive and also speak up and say no to begin establishing good personal boundaries.

Do you sabotage yourself by taking a pessimistic view and seeing things worse than they are? This undermines your esteem, health, and success.
Which of the self-sabotage methods apply to you? Do you want to reduce the stress in your life and quit sabotaging yourself? If so break through your denials, discover and express your unmet needs, strive to uncover your unconscious patterns of pain, face your fears, and take back your power.

SABOTAGE: DOUBTS AND FEARS

We all have fears and doubts. Kishori Aird, a professional naturopath and a medical-intuitive, says, It is far better to acknowledge those fears and doubts straight up and use that energy to propel us towards our goals than it is to have that energy, unexpressed, oppose those goals.

Aird recommends the use of any positive statements needs to also recognize our doubts. When we add even if . . . to our statements, this gives our saboteur a voice. An example might be, I choose to improve my self-esteem even if I doubt it will get better.

TIPS TO MOVE BEYOND SABOTAGE

1. Do you tend to focus on what is wrong or missing in your life? Does this attract more of the same? Instead focus on all the things that do work. The Law of Attraction says, Where your attention goes, your energy flows.

2. Do you spend a lot of time worrying about or fearing the future? Instead focus on solutions and take action when you can. Even small actions can make a difference.

3. Do you sabotage by comparing yourself to others and then feel bad? Instead think about, write out, and focus on daily qualities or strengths you have or can develop.

4. Do you feel worthless or less than? Do you make excuses for yourself? Begin looking in the mirror, morning and evening, and say, I love myself. Your critical thoughts will emerge. Pay attention to them and continue the mirror exercise for a minimum of twenty-one days straight. What do you notice has changed? Do you value and appreciate yourself more?

5. Do you live in the past, in past failures? How can you learn from your failures and grow?

OVERCOMING SABOTAGE

We can choose to become aware of our unconscious beliefs through reprogramming methods such as the one explained in Carolyn Ball’s book, Claiming Your Self-Esteem.

We can also use ways to dissolve and release these beliefs once we become aware of them. One way is Byron Katie’s, The Work, which has questions for releasing beliefs which no longer serve us. The four questions include:

1. Is this belief true?
2. Who would I be without the thought?
3. Could I let this go?
4. Would I let this go? When?

Then like Carolyn Ball’s reprogramming choose a new belief.

Joe Vitale in The Key also has a method of reprogramming unconscious beliefs, which block attracting our intents. Joe says, We are unconsciously attracting the wrong things. The Key tells of Joe’s journey out of poverty.

The Emotional Freedom Technique – EFT – also has a method for dealing with subconscious objections or yes-buts that may arise to sabotage the positive affirmations used as part of the EFT. Gary Craig, the founder of EFT, calls the yes-buts “tail enders.”

EFT combines tapping certain acupressure points on the body while repeating a specific choice statement to release physical or emotional issues. The method would include the original statement and an antidote to the tail ender. For example, the original choice: “I choose to be successful in my business.” The tail ender: But if I am successful other people will ridicule me the way my father used to.” The antidote: I choose to feel respected even when I am successful.” The final statement: I choose to feel respected even when I am successful in my business.” See THIS LINK for how to use EFT for negative tail enders.

I believe most of us would like to heal our pain or suffering. We may, however, have been unaware of the causes or methods to do so. Even further, we may be unaware of how sabotage occurs to thwart our best intentions. We may fail to recognize or heal our wounded inner child. We may deny the Shadow parts of our personalities. We may choose to allow our victim mentality to keep us powerless and feeling unworthy.

Author's Bio
In over 35 years of personal-growth/spiritual-growth, Michael David is an alternative energy medicine practitioner who has practiced many healing methods of alternative medicine & distance energy-healing.

Michael, a certified Bowenwork Practitioner, does Bowen Therapy also known as the Bowen Technique or Bowtech, in person, for pain relief. The Bowen Technique,as a form of energetic bodywork, is a gentle soft tissue manipulation of muscles or tendons, which stimulates the whole body to reset and heal itself.