masterwordsmith-unplugged

by Dr. Sheri Rosenthal

How many of us grew up with the fairy tale ideal of romance where love sweeps us off our feet? One where someone comes along pledging their eternal love to us, with the single goal of making us happy? A romance where our partner does everything with us in mind, and whose life revolves around us? Even if you said, “Yuck!” when you read this, chances are that in the deepest recesses of your subconscious programming; you believe every word of what I wrote.

One clue to figure out if what I’m suggesting has any truth to it, is to think about how you react to romantic movies. If you tend to get teary or you are deeply moved by those types of films, chances are you are touching upon some old beliefs about love. The movie producers are well aware that we have these beliefs – if we didn’t we wouldn’t react to these kinds of films and we wouldn’t be interested in seeing them.

Another way to test this theory is to observe your behavior in relationship. Ask yourself if you get upset when your partner doesn’t do what you want, when you want it, with you first and foremost in their mind. Do you become frustrated when your partner doesn’t see things your way, or when they make plans that don’t revolve around you? Do you find yourself trying to control them and having them behave the way you want them to behave, dress the way you want them to dress and talk the way you want them to? Have you been known to abdicate your happiness to your partner, making them responsible for cheering you up, entertaining you or making you happy?

If any of these things are true for you, it’s time to consider looking at what you believe about love. The truth is no one can make you happy, solve your loneliness problems or make your life entertaining. If you’re unhappy it’s not because of anything outside of you, it’s because of your lack of love for yourself and your desire to look for love and comfort externally. The best relationships in life are found between people who are already happy and fulfilled and are not looking for their partner to do anything for them. Instead they create a partner who they can share their life and express their love audaciously with.

This is very different from neediness, where we are looking for a partner to save us from boredom or to complete us in some way. First and foremost, love is never neediness. Truly, unless you love yourself first, it’s unlikely that someone else is going to love you. (If you are needy it’s more likely that they’ll take advantage of you.) If you love yourself completely and fully then your partner will follow suit. As my teacher don Miguel Ruiz used to say, “Life is nothing but a dream, and if you create your life with love, your dream becomes a masterpiece of art.” Again – that’s your love I’m talking about, not a partner’s love.

The best Valentine’s Day from my point of view, is one where I honor, respect and love myself fully and grandly. It doesn’t matter if I have a partner in the moment or not, as I am never alone – Spirit is always walking with me. I am complete and whole and I live to express my love, not to hunt love like a beggar. I encourage you to make this year the best Valentine’s Day ever in your life. Celebrate yourself and your expression of unconditional love in the world grandly and deliciously!

Author's Bio
Sheri Rosenthal DPM is a master Toltec teacher and author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Toltec Wisdom and Banish Mind Spam!. Having trained with don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements®, she currently takes students on spiritual journeys journeysofthespirit.com works with personal apprentices and enjoys being extremely happy. You can reach her at info@sherirosenthal.com or sherirosenthal.com and withforgiveness.com

To me, the most handsome men in the world (in no particular order) are Harrison Ford, Robert Redford, George Clooney, Ben Affleck, (my husband haha!) and Brad Pitt so when I heard about "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button", I made haste to watch it and to add that movie to my collection.

Mind you, this movie has THIRTEEN Academy Award Nominations and I have seen many rave reviews and ratings for "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". Click at this link here to enter the official movie site and be enthralled by the moving original score and fascinating story line. For a slide show of 104 unforgettable scenes from the movie, please click this link here.

My advice is for you to read the original short story written by another of my favorite authors, F. Scott Fitzgerald which is available online at this link. Believe me, it is a highly entertaining tale...and one that will surely bring many smiles to your face.

According to Wikipedia:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is a 2008 American drama film, inspired by the 1921 short story of the same name written by F. Scott Fitzgerald. The film was directed by David Fincher, written by Eric Roth and Robin Swicord, and stars Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett. The film was released on December 25, 2008, by both Paramount Pictures and Warner Bros. Pictures. The film received 13 Academy Award nominations, including Best Picture, Best Director for Fincher, Best Actor for Pitt^[3] and Best Supporting Actress for Taraji P. Henson.

I was quite surprised that after Fincher's previous violent movies such as Fight Club, Zodiac and Se7en, the violence, desolation, obsession, rage and anarchic seething humor that so artfully disfigures his previous work are now forgotten because in this movie, Fincher radiates warmth, romance, (fleeting) fulfilment, sentiment and magical realism. To be honest, as a die-hard romantic and sentimental old lady, I regard this movie as a gorgeous-looking fable spun from F Scott Fitzgerald’s 1921 short story. Of course, Button flirts with whimsy, skirts schmaltz, at times teetering on the edge of a misty(-eyed) abyss but pulled back by Fincher’s cerebral disposition and meticulous technique.

I am quite sure this movie will win many Oscars as it is an epic of rare scope and scale in a 167-minute opus that spans 90-odd years in its foregrounding of one man’s peculiar growth against that of a nation in that time frame. Well, we will know soon....

Critics are divided in their opinions of this movie which is a time traveller's tale. My guess is that some of you may see it as an inventive piece of film-making offering much insight into the nature of death and ageing, yet others wonder may whether The Curious Case of Benjamin Button says anything particular about anything much at all. I wonder if this unusual combination of cutting edge techniques and old-fashioned, century-spanning storytelling may be seen in years to come as one of 2009's most notable movies? Or is any pretence at greatness undermined by its strange premise and contrived air of antiquity?

Of course, I must admit that I have a soft spot for that particular era (1920's - jazz age, roaring 1920's and the wonderful fashion, hairstyles, Charleston dances etc. which is why I love Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby and almost ALL his books). It reminds me a bit of Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction and Gaspar Noe's Irreversible (which stars my favorite Monica Belluci) in that the movie is in reverse order.

(Spoiler in the next paragraph so be forewarned) My personal response comes after the synopsis.

Synopsis

Benjamin Button is the tale of a man who lives his life backwards. Born at the tale end of the great war in New Orleans, young Benjamin starts out life as a baby stricken with all the ailments of an 80-year-old man. He is not expected to live longer than a few months, but slowly begins to realise that he is growing younger every day, a condition which eventually allows him to start to enjoy some of the advantages of adult existence. He learns to drink, starts work on a boat, and tentatively begins liaisons with the opposite sex. His life starts to approach some semblance of normality, and yet the great love of his life, Daisy, who he first met when she was a young girl and he a wrinkly five-year-old, is ageing in the opposite direction.

My Personal Response

Don't ask me if I wept during this movie; the answer is pretty obvious. This movie makes me think of life, death and a love that burns bright and yet as brief as a firefly… In many ways, this is a film obsessed with transience, with mortality. I must admit that even though it is flecked with flaws, Button nonetheless stands as a monument to its maker’s talent. And why so?

Well, I could identify with the many scenes of the movie...As Benjamin’s life unwinds, we can all witness a lot of firsts. His first kiss, first love and his first time drinking, whereupon his momma catches him and watches, hands on hips, as the 70-year-old Pitt projectile vomits over the stairs. Almost every scene reminds me of Daisy (played in adulthood by Cate Blanchett). Throughout the tales of Benjamin’s life, it was like a roller coaster ride - while on one hand I was sucked out of the reverie of the scene, on the other hand, I was also plonked back to the present day – a bleak hospital room where Daisy lies on her deathbed as her daughter reads from Benjamin’s diary.

To be honest, I found Blanchett’s barely decipherable croaking really irritating and I could not reconcile that scene with the image that I would rather carry of her - the utterly enchanting, radiating a strength, candour and severe beauty that only befit Blanchett.

When watching this movie, more than ever, I am reminded that everything that happens is sewn into life’s tapestry. I can choose to frown at the knots in life, the snipped threads and the tangles (those of you who do cross stitching like I used to can understand what I mean) or turn it over and gaze at the beautiful pattern they’ve helped to create. Actually, I find it quite impossible to pin down, categorise or even judge The Curious Case of Benjamin Button because this special movie has shown me that whether or not I live life forwards or backwards, the outside is just a shell and it’s what I choose to do with life that matters - and it should be to sift out the best parts from the worst. Indeed, it is particularly real to me in the light of my recent experiences.

I could go on and on but it would only revolve around the same message :

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is an absolute masterpiece and is probably one of the greatest films of all time.

Believe me, I am not the only one who says that. Go to the official website and you can see the rave review for yourself. So dear reader, please watch this movie with your loved ones. This movie can be a trifle slow at times but somehow, miraculously, this delicate, beautiful, involving and fantastical story is utterly enchanting and will warm the smallest, deepest cockles of your heart.

Like what I said earlier in this post, it may NOT be to everyone’s taste but it’s a film that you should make every effort to see because it is an enjoyable, engaging and beautifully made drama with stunning special effects and terrific performances from Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett.This film is not only Brad Pitt’s finest performance ever, it is director David Fincher’s finest work and he is a man with a very impressive CV of first class movies.

LIFE IS NOT MEASURED BY MINUTES BUT BY MOMENTS....

by Rinatta Paries, Relationship Coach

I ran across something on another website the other day that shocked me. It went something like this: Don't be in the doghouse this Valentine's Day...buy XYZ. Later I spoke to one of my single clients who asked me to help her survive Valentine's Day.

The commercialism associated with this holiday often wreaks havoc on both singles and couples alike. For couples, Valentine's Day can be full of unrealistic, unnecessary expectations followed by disappointment. And singles usually see the holiday as an unpleasant reminder of their relationship status and the sadness and disappointment of being alone.

Below are my suggestions to help you survive Valentine's Day. The first section contains tips for people in relationships, divided into subsections of people in a relationship going well and those in a relationship going poorly. The second section is for singles.

Red Roses Pictures, Images and Photos
SURVIVING VALENTINE'S DAY FOR PEOPLE IN A RELATIONSHIP

Many people in relationships feel pressured and anxious about giving just the right gift. Valentine's Day expectations can run high in a relationship. If the gift isn't just right, the receiver may feel unloved and the giver may go into the "doghouse".

And let's be honest. The giver going to the doghouse is usually the man in the relationship. Not always, but usually.

How fun will your Valentine's Day be if you are disappointed with your partner and his or her gift? How close will the two of you feel if he or she spends the whole time feeling badly?

If you are in a relationship and you want your Valentine's Day to turn out well, to bring closeness, joy and intimacy, I suggest an adjustment in expectations and attitude.
Red Roses Pictures, Images and Photos
FOR THOSE WHOSE RELATIONSHIPS ARE GOING WELL

If your relationship is going well, does it really matter what happens on Valentine's Day? Maybe something sweet, fun and loving is enough?

Does it matter if you go out for a romantic dinner or if you have a candlelight dinner at home? As long as you do something for each other, consider your Valentine's Day to be a success.

On the other hand, if you really want something special, give strong hints to your partner and let him or her know how much you REALLY want that certain something. This way you set him or her up to win by giving you what you want. Don't secretly hope for something and expect to get it unless you are sure your partner knows you are secretly hoping for it!

Mostly, make sure it's a day or evening the two of you spend enjoying each other.
Red Roses Pictures, Images and Photos
FOR THOSE WHOSE RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT GOING WELL

If your relationship is not going well, Valentine's Day is probably not going to save it, no matter how special you try to make the day. In fact, if your relationship is in trouble, high expectations may be the last nail in the coffin of your relationship.

In this case, it is even more important to communicate clearly what you want and what you expect. The more discord in a relationship, the less likely that your partner will be tuned into you and know what you want.

The key here is to stop having expectations that Valentine's Day will turn your relationship around, and instead see it as an opportunity to express to your partner how much YOU care.


Red Roses Pictures, Images and Photos
SURVIVING VALENTINE'S DAY FOR SINGLES

Instead of spending the day being sad about not having a relationship or ignoring the day completely, do something powerful for your relationship future.

I have to warn you the exercise I am about to detail here will sound silly, pointless and hard to execute. However, it is truly worth the effort.

But before I explain the exercise, let me tell you why it will be worth the effort. This exercise will allow you to experience true, healthy love. If your history is strewn with broken relationships, you have seldom--if ever--experienced true, healthy love. Experiencing it will give you the ability to recognize someone capable of it, and will give you the power to attract it.

Ready?spinning heart charm Pictures, Images and Photos

1. Go to Hallmark or some other fancy card store, today or tomorrow.
2. Buy a few very nice cards, the kind you would love to get from an intimate partner.
3. Go home, take out the cards and a nice pen, and start writing Valentine's messages to yourself. The key is to write as if a wonderful, caring, generous relationship partner is writing to you. Although you don't have such a partner right now, I'm sure you know just what you'd like to hear. Write exactly that. Write what you most want to hear from someone who loves you. Go overboard with compliments and praise and words of love.
4. Seal the cards and put your name on the envelope. Maybe even draw something on the envelope.
5. Put the cards in different places around the house to be found and opened on Valentine's Day.
6. When you open the cards on Valentine's Day, do not discount what you've written to yourself. It may not be from a current lover; however, it is from someone who loves you--YOU.

The more you allow yourself to feel love, even self-love, the more likely you are to attract true love into your life.

Happy Valentine's Day!happy valentines day Pictures, Images and Photos

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
www.WhatItTakes.com

This article was originally published by Coach Rinatta Paries in "The Relationship Coach Newsletter," a weekly e-zine for people who want fulfilling relationships. For singles, the newsletter will help you attract your Mr. or Ms. Right. If you're in a relationship, you will learn to create more closeness and intimacy with your mate. To subscribe, go to www.WhatItTakes.com.

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Author's Bio
Rinatta Paries is a Relationship Coach and a Master Certified Coach with nine years of coaching experience working with singles and couples. She works with singles to attract their ideal relationship and helps couples create more love and fulfillment. Rinatta is the author of the popular Relationship Coach eNewsletter, designed to inspire, educate and coach both singles and couples in how to attract and sustain a healthy, loving, fulfilling relationship. Visit her web site at
www.WhatItTakes.com or e-mail her at coach@WhatItTakes.com