masterwordsmith-unplugged

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, they serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become.

You never know who these people may be; your roommate, your neighbor, professor, long lost friend, lover or even a complete stranger who, when you lock eyes with them, you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you and at the time they seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would never have realized your potential, strength, will power of heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments or true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of the soul.

Without these small tests, if they be events, illnesses or relationships, life would be like a smooth paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. Safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life and successes and downfalls you experience, they are the ones who create who you are.

Even the bad experience can be learned from... Those lessons are the hardest and probably the most important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart... forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them.

Make every day count.

Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again.

Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen, let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high.

You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it.

I wish you all the best in your endeavors as well as struggles in life. Have a fighting spirit and never hesitate to get back in the struggle!

~ Author Unknown ~

HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAY TODAY AND EVERYDAY DEAR READER!!!

by Neill Neill

Time and time again, people tell me they are not experiencing real intimacy in their relationships. Sex? Yes. True intimacy? No. They long for a soul connection, a deep, tender love, a satisfying and fulfilling sexual love. They long for a deeper level of communication, not just the chatter of everyday life.

Seeking Communion

Human beings are hardwired to seek a deep love connection with another human being. I call this deep level of connection we all seek “communion.” And communication is the key to keeping us moving in an upward direction toward communion.

When you meet someone, you begin to form a connection by talking with each other. That’s communication. As you talk and listen, you get to know each other. As you get to know each other, you find you like each other. And since you like each other, you want to communicate even more. That is how the upward spiral toward communion begins.

Communication is the key because it is the only part of the process you have any control over. You can’t just decide you’re going to know someone better. You can’t just decide you’re going to like someone. The only decision under control is whether or not you communicate with them.

Accepting Your Partner, Warts and All

While it is true that good communication is the key to moving toward communion, we need to look more deeply into the roots of intimacy. True love is not that all-too-familiar but temporary state called infatuation. Infatuation fades over time. True, intimate love deepens over time.

The foundation of true love is acceptance. Can you accept your partner for who he or she is, warts and all? Acceptance of each other is and always has been the basis for love. Intimate love can’t flourish without it.

When a couple is in trouble in their relationship, at least one of them is probably having difficulty in accepting something in the other. Nonacceptance leads to criticism, judgment, and damaged communication. Nonacceptance provides the road map to alienation.

Accepting the reality of your partner’s shortcomings doesn’t mean you have to like all aspects of that reality. But accepting reality, whatever it is, is the bedrock of good mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. And accepting the reality of your partner is the bedrock of a good relationship.

Your partner’s behavior and its effects on you are both parts of reality. So if your reality is that your partner’s behavior is hurting you, it would be unhealthy to pretend otherwise. You need to communicate this reality with your partner. Do it without judgment, but do it.

Accepting Yourself As You Are

Before leaving a relationship, or for that matter, before entering one, answer this: How completely do you accept yourself? Your inability to accept as reality something in another usually stems from difficulty you have in accepting the reality of who you are and what you are like.

Do you consciously give yourself permission to experience and be responsible for your actions, feelings, and emotions? Do you do this without putting yourself down? Can you be conscious of and be okay with your thoughts, feelings, and behavior, even when you don’t particularly like the reality of some shortcomings you see in yourself?

True self-acceptance is based in consciousness of reality, whatever it is. If you tend to be a bit judgmental, for example, your easiest course would be to deny it and remain unconscious of it. Being conscious might be uncomfortable because as you come to accept who you are, you might decide you have to change and be less judgmental. That might be difficult and uncomfortable. It would be much easier to remain unconsciously judgmental.

Your road map to personal change is self-acceptance because it is based in consciousness of reality. Self-acceptance pays huge dividends in self-esteem and freedom. If you can fully accept yourself, it is easy to accept others. Then your entering or leaving a relationship is guided by the reality of the relationship itself, not by your need to avoid consciousness of things you might not like in yourself.

When both you and your partner can consciously accept yourselves and accept each other, it is possible for love with true intimacy to flourish and grow over the years.

Author's Bio

Neill Neill, PhD, RPsych, D-CEP, maintains an active psychology practice on Vancouver Island, British Columbia, Canada. In addition to serving the needs of his clients in their psychological and spiritual healing and growth, he is Consulting Psychologist to the Sunshine Coast Health Centre, a residential alcohol and drug treatment facility for men (http://www.SunshineCoastHealthCentre.com). Dr. Neill is a columnist, speaker, and author of a new self-help work, Living with an Alcoholic: Dr. Neill’s Survival Guide for Women (http://www.living-with-an-alcoholic.com). For a free copy of his e-book, Codependency and Addiction, visit http://www.neillneill.com.