masterwordsmith-unplugged

We learn best by making mistakes, but too many mistakes can have negative effects on your relationship. Here are some tips to avoid mistakes:

• Don't wait, express your love right now!
• Never lie, honesty is the best policy and the truth frees people
• Don't worry, be happy
• Don't wait before it's too late before you apologize to your partner, always learn how to give in even if you are right
• Don't gloat when you are right
• Don't sulk when you don't get your way
• Don't make the same mistake twice
• Don't spend your prime time watching TV
• Don't interrupt when she/he is talking
• Don't take one another for granted
• Don't hold grudges , forgive and forget
• Don't let your mind wander during conversations
• Don't wait for your partner to read your mind
• Don't be judgemental
• Don't leave lovemaking until just before sleeping
• Don't always let your partner take initiatives, they will be sick of it if it becomes a habit
• Don't make love the same way every time
• Don't be afraid to share your feelings
• Don't try to change your partner
• Don't be late for meetings although patience is a virtue

Love can be improved and made sweeter and sweeter; the more you do it, the better it becomes...

Some people may think I am a gregarious, loud and noisy person. I am not. You may find that a tough pill to swallow but it is the truth. Apart from being timid, I am also uninitiated in many areas, particularly in driving along the PLUS highway, even across the Penang Bridge!!! Have you fainted already? Perhaps.

Last weekend, we drove to KL to visit my beloved older boy who is in his second year at university. Upon arrival, we met up for dinner with CK Saw, Dr. Saravanan and his lovely wife at Venezia Restaurant in Cheras. We really had such a wonderful time talking nineteen to a dozen and enjoyed the treat given by CK Saw. Thanks a million CK for your generosity! Thanks also to CK and Dr. Saravanan and Sangeetha for coming all the way to meet us. I am so sorry that in my excitement and tiredness, I forgot to take a pic of us yakkity-yakking away!

Anyway, we had a lovely time with my son and his girlfriend. Most of the time was spent eating at different places as my son does not get to eat 'proper' meals and the rest of the time was spent at Borders, MPH and Plaza Low Yatt.

Here's yours truly at Gardens with my hero.
My boy with his girlfriend...
My two boys...

On Monday afternoon, we took my boy for lunch and then after a very tearful farewell, we made our way home....We really wanted to visit Antares but we were hard pressed for time...

By the time we passed Rawang, the sky was heavy with rain clouds and the weather changed. The heavy downpour made it difficult for my hubby to drive and I was stepping on the brakes - er mind you...hubby was driving..know what I mean?

*sigh* Sadly, my hubby does not have good night vision as he is due for cataract operation for BOTH eyes and there was no other choice - hubby said I had to drive!!!

Horror of horrors!!!! Me? Drive? Gosh!!! The furthest place I have ever driven to is just Teluk Bahang and back home again. I have never even driven round Penang island! I nearly fainted at the suggestion but there was no way out.

When I started driving, my muscles started to tense up - all the muscles in my shoulder, upper torso, back, upper arms and even my fingers. I am quite sure that my blood pressure must have been easily 160/100.

For your information, I had just finished reading "Twilight" and as I made my way along the dark highway, I half-imagined vampires flying out to greet me - so much for my fertile imagination. Along the way, my head started to pound in rhythm with my already palpitating heart and I had to beg my younger boy to massage my shoulders while hubby massaged my already stiffened upper arm. Gosh - I felt as though rigor mortis had already set in!!!

At one point, it was so tensed. On my left was a lorry that was moving at a regular speed while yours truly was trying to maintain a respectable speed while the car behind me was flashing at me and the reflectors on the road divider were screaming for my attention. Phew! Most stressful. As I stepped on my accelerator, my boy said most politely, "Mom, I would encourage you to keep a constant speed of 80kmph!" I balked! But that would mean my ordeal would have to be prolonged!!!

Anyway, to cut the long story short, we arrived in Penang safely and for the record, after the stressful drive, I burnt a lot of calories and despite eating so much, I did not put on weight! Hurrah! Yours truly celebrated with a few Dunkin Donuts which I bought at the Tapah rest-stop :-).

And so dear reader, I do apologise for not blogging so much today. I am still trying to recover from the gruelling drive and the housecleaning plus laundry. It was an experience that I will never forget but it was worth it because this time, my hubby will not have to face the taxing drive on his own....

I will be back in action by tomorrow!!! I have to catch up on reading all the news I missed for the past few days. So here's wishing you a lovely evening and may God be with you and yours always!

by Lisa Smith, MHt, NLP, CC

For a long time, one's IQ (Intelligence Quotient) was considered the leading determinant of success (financial and personal). However, as more studies looked into the lifestyles and success factors of those with high IQ's, it became clear that this theory did not bear itself out. Many with high IQs had lives that were filled with work and relationship failures.

In 1995, a new concept in success and happiness was introduced in a book by Daniel Goleman called "Emotional Intelligence." In what was labeled "a groundbreaking concept," Goleman coined the term "emotional intelligence" and defined it as the ability to develop and sustain loving relationships with others, be highly self-aware yet have empathy for people and situations outside of themselves, and have a strong sense of altruism--giving back.

Based on brain and behavioral research, people with high EQ were shown to be those who truly succeeded in their work and personal lives, establishing flourishing careers and lasting, meaningful relationships.

As humans, we are highly emotional beings. We tend to run more off of our emotions than our intellect. I see this all the time in my hypnotherapy and coaching clients. Logically, what they are doing doesn't make sense, yet they continue to do it anyway and don't know how to stop.

What we are creating in our lives is the result of actions and our actions are based on our emotions. We tend to act more on things that are charged with emotion (E-Motion = Energy in Motion). Therefore, it makes sense that the ability to feel, identify, communicate, use, learn from, and manage our emotions will allow us to navigate life more easily and create more of what we want in our lives and less of what we don't.

Whether one's EQ is genetic and fixed or can be developed as children or even adults is still under debate. However, I am of the opinion that it can be developed with good resources and training. Why do I believe this? Because I have worked with hundreds of clients to do just that and have seen great transformations occur as a result.

One client recently reported, "As I am remembering more to stop myself when I'm feeling emotional and step back from the situation, I am able to respond instead of react. This is helping me immensely to stop the cycle of anger and resentment that has caused me to have unsatisfying relationships or to go off and indulge in food that is unhealthy or unnecessary."

Before they start working with me, most of my clients are living at the mercy of their roller coaster emotions, based on past programming and external circumstances. They are constantly reacting in unconscious, knee-jerk, habitual ways that create more drama and undesirable outcomes. One of the ideas I emphasize most often and emphatically with them is that the ability to manage their emotions is one of the greatest skills they can ever develop.

If you would like to know more about Emotional Intelligence or determine what your EQ is, you can pick up Goleman's book. There are several on-line tests you can take as well--some free and some paid. Learning to raise your EQ takes time, practice, patience, good tools, and guidance. I would suggest working with a professional who is familiar with this concept and has the tools and experience to be able to assist you with the process.

Author's Bio
Lisa Smith is a Certified Wellness Coach and Master Hypnotherapist, author, speaker, and trainer with a private practice, Life by Design, LLC in Virginia Beach, but serving people across the country. Along with general hypnosis and NLP, she uses the principles of Emotional Intelligence to help people create more healthy and successful lives. For more information and free tools, visit hypnocoachlisa.com or call 757-631-9940.

by Shirley Cheng

What do you see when people dance? Is it how their hands and feet move so gracefully in such unison with one another, yet each of them sparkles individuality? Are the dancers smiling? What does that mean? They may be joyous when they move their bodies to the rhythms of the music, but that is not all. They smile because they are dancing with their hearts.

What do I mean when I say they dance with their hearts? When you are dancing with your heart, you are dancing together with your heart and dancing using your heart, and as a result, you are becoming a dancing heart.

What do you feel when you see them dance? Do you feel like dancing as well? When you dance, you will project how you feel and what you feel onto any onlookers, causing them to have a desire, a need, to mirror your feelings, then finally your actions. You set good examples of life when you dance; you are teaching true things of life, so you must lead others by dancing yourself.

To dance with your heart, you must be pure. Release all the negative feelings hammering inside you and block out the ugly voices the outside world whispers stealthily in your ears. Become friends with yourself. What qualities do you look for in a friend?

Are you ready to become your own friend and dance with your heart? Take the following dance steps on your own before you can hold hands with your heart.

Acceptance.

Accept who you are as a whole. Accept how you feel. Accept how you think. Accept how you look from your head to your toes. You may not like to accept yourself as you are now because you feel you are not perfect. But what is perfection anyway? Is nature perfect? If so, then you must be perfect, too. Take a look—I bet that tall tree in your backyard has at least one torn branch, but is it still majestic? Does it still deserve to be called beautiful? Perfect?

Openness.

Be open, truthful, and honest with yourself. Do not lie to yourself. Do not live with pretense. When something is making you unhappy, face it, do not run away from it. Change the situation with a clear and honest look. By closely examining the situation you are in, you will be able to find the root of the problem and plug it out. By remaining in the dark, you will never find that root, so turn on the lights!

Understanding.

Understand your feelings, thoughts, and why you behave the way you do. Find the purpose to your actions. Learn from your past and those situations that did not go as smoothly as hoped, and utilize what you learn to make your future bright.

Love and appreciation.

Love yourself. Honestly tell yourself, “I know I am not a bad person. I know I do my best in everything I do, and I know I am being my best, so I love myself because I am a good person with good intentions.” Appreciate what you have and whom you have. Appreciate what you are able to do.

Positivity.

Count your blessings. Focus on the good things you do have at the present and the positive side of things. Do not dwell on bad situations, but instead, move forward and have a bright attitude and outlook for the future. You have the ability to make a positive difference to your future just by being positive. Choosing the road to positivity and happiness will give you the strength, the desire, and the motivation to take giant steps forward. Don’t pick the road to misery—it will just glue you to one spot, and you wouldn’t want to get the glue onto others, now would you?

Passion.

Be passionate about who you are and what you do. Value life; cherish every minute that is given to you. Hold on tightly to the happy moments and their memories because when they’re gone, they’re gone forever. Live with conviction; live with vitality.

Happiness.

Smile often. Smile to yourself, even if there’s no good reason. Smiling will warm you up, even when the days seem dreary. Frequently treat yourself to a big smile while working or frolicking; it is the sweetest treat you can give yourself, and the best part is that there are no calories!

Once you achieve calm in your soul, you will be able to spiritually connect with your own self from deep within you, and that is where your heart lies.

What is your heart? No, it is not the muscular organ that pumps blood through your body; it is your essence, your higher self or energy. No one has the power to harm your heart, especially if you don’t allow outside negativity to pollute your spirit like a thick fog.

When you twirl and swirl with your heart, you will be sharply aware of all beauties of the world, things that you had not noticed or given heed to when you were not dancing with your heart. With the dance within you, you will have a broader sense of acceptance of who you are, and therefore your acceptance of others and the world around you will grow and grow to the point that you are spiritually connected with the entire universe—every creation breathes into you and you into it, fusing everything into one.

You will feel awake and alert when you waltz with your heart. Once you start dancing, you will not want to stop because the feeling will be too good and too powerful to let go, and you will crave it when you stop dancing. You will feel at peace with yourself and with the world. You will feel friendly toward those who follow in your dance steps or even toward those who abandon your dance to be lured into darkness.

When you dance, you will feel alive and free and painless, even if your body shouts of old age. Your body will grow older, but your essence will stay as young as a newly blossomed flower, but only with much more wisdom and understanding. Your dance will never grow old with age; instead, it will grow younger and wiser as each day passes for you will connect with all surrounding power to recharge your own energy.

Do I dance with my heart? You bet I do! Many joints in my body have been disfigured by severe juvenile rheumatoid arthritis since infancy, yet my heart dances freely and openly with no restraint. As I dance, my heart tells me all things it sees, so my blindness miserably fails to make me trip on my own feet.

Thus crank up the music, take my hand in yours, and let us dance with our hearts!