What do you do when someone is angry with you and yells at you? Most people react with anger of their own or by defending themselves. Both reactions are wrong! It is true that the angry person is afraid of something, because anger is a mask for fear, but that is their lesson and not yours! Your lesson is to work out why you are having the feelings that you are having. You are reacting because of those feelings and not because of the other person's antagonism. This person was sent into your life to teach you something and your part in the drama is to work out what you have to learn from it.
Do you get angry in return? Why? What hidden fears do you have? Do you feel sad? If so, what sadness do you have buried that you have avoided dealing with? Do you feel that you have to defend yourself? Why? Because there is a sense of insecurity within you that you haven't dealt with.
For many people, they react because they can't handle the concept that there is someone who doesn't like them. There will always be someone who doesn't like you, no matter how kind and compassionate you are. That is just a fact of life and you have to accept it and in fact what other people think of you is none of your business. You have no idea what their life is about. You may bear a physical resemblance to someone who has greatly wronged them; you can't help that. There are many possible scenarios.
The truth is that angry people hurt and they haven’t as yet worked out how to heal that hurt. When you realise that, you may find that your own feelings will change very naturally into compassion.
When someone is angry or nasty don't lower yourself to their level by reacting in kind. Take a moment to think before reacting. Your soul has attracted this person into your life to force you to examine your feelings. If you don't deal with it now, it will happen again and quite possibly in a more dramatic way. Even though it may cause you some discomfit, dealing with it now is much easier than you probably think and will prevent future occurrences.
Of course if you have done anything wrong that can possibly justify the other person's behaviour, then apologise first but don't feel you have to justify your wrong deed; a genuine heartfelt apology is all the you need to give, e.g. "I'm sorry! I was wrong to do/say that." In some cases this is enough to calm the other person down. But if not, then it becomes their problem and not yours.
Once you can face an angry person without reacting then that is good. Then you can help them to see why they are angry. You could ask them, "What are you afraid of?" Of course they may not be ready to accept help just yet but even so you might be planting a seed that they will remember later on.
There are times when a person becomes physically violent, in which case it is wise to retreat, at least until they calm down. But even this you would have attracted for some reason and so you must still deal with your own feelings even if there is nothing you can do to help them at this stage.
Author's Bio
Spirituality is a way of life for me! It isn't just what I think; it is what I feel. I have two spiritually based websites:
"Eye Of The Archer" provides resources for your spiritual and personal development including articles, newsletter and help available by email.
http://www.eyeofthearcher.com.au
"All Things Spiritual" is your one stop website for all your spiritual, new age and metaphysical needs, desires and interests.
http://www.allthingsspiritual.info
Here are some of the latest updates on A(H1N1) previously known as swine flu.
1. According to The Washington Post, the flu's true severity is still unknown.
So is this new swine flu outbreak the next great plague, or just a global spasm of paranoia?
Are we seeing a pandemic or a panic?
The pathogen that has seized the world's attention has an official name (swine-origin influenza A H1N1), an acronym (S-OIV), a nickname (swine flu) and an apparent birthplace (Mexico). But the essential nature of the pathogen, its personality, its virulence, remain matters of frenetic investigation. Like all influenza viruses, it is mutating capriciously and, thus, is not a static and predictable public health threat but an evolving one.
The bug has gone global, having shown up in Asia yesterday with the first reported case in Hong Kong. It also popped up in Denmark, as well as in eight new U.S. states.
But there has been some flu-scare backlash, with some officials questioning whether schools are too quick to close their doors at the first hint of the virus.
To read the rest of the entry, please GO TO THIS LINK.
2. CBC News (Canada) reported that Swine flu roots have been traced to Spanish flu.
Pigs might have spread the current strain of influenza to humans, attracting worldwide attention, but new Canadian-led research suggests that we might have given pigs the flu in the first place, during the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic.
A group of Canadian and U.S. researchers, writing in the May issue of the Journal of Virology, say experimental testing of how pigs responded to the 1918 Spanish flu supports the theory that the virus was passed on from humans to pigs in 1918, during the Spanish flu pandemic.
Both the human influenza virus known as the Spanish flu and a swine respiratory disease occurred at roughly the same time. The first human cases of Spanish flu appeared in spring of 1918 while the first reports of the swine illness were in the fall of that year.
Please CLICK THIS LINK to read the rest of the article.
3. To see the latest confirmed cases in Canada, the U.S., Mexico and other countries around the globe charted in a world map, please GO TO THIS LINK.
4. The Washington Post reports :
The Obama administration has relied on a Bush-era public health strategy aimed at coordinating its response across an array of government agencies in the week since the first reports of a swine flu outbreak emerged, officials say, as it attempts to balance safety concerns with a desire to prevent a panic.
While Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano has become the public face of the administration's effort to manage the outbreak, President Obama has been briefed three times a day on his administration's first public-health crisis. Behind the scenes, Deputy National Security Adviser John O. Brennan is coordinating the response to a borderless threat that draws on almost every Cabinet-level agency.
Kindly CLICK HERE to read the rest of the entry.
5. The New York Times reports that action has been taken to prevent hoarding of flu drugs.
Health authorities and drug companies say that supplies are generally ample for the two drugs that would be vital to treating a pandemic caused by swine flu, but that they are acting to prevent hoarding.
Some pharmacies in the United States and some other countries have run out of the drugs, in part because of strong demand from consumers who are not sick but want to have them — just in case.
GlaxoSmithKline is now allocating supplies of its drug, Relenza, to areas of the United States or the world most in need of it, a spokesman for the company said. In France, where there was a run on Tamiflu in pharmacies, Roche, which makes the drug, has stopped supplying it to drugstores to preserve supplies for hospitals.
Health authorities and the manufacturers say that the supply of the two drugs is best in countries that have built stockpiles in the last few years in preparation for a possible pandemic.
“There are no reports, and we don’t expect any reports, of shortages of antivirals in any states,” Dr. Richard Besser, the acting director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, said Thursday at a news conference.
The federal government has a stockpile with enough medicine to treat 50 million people. Some 11 million of those treatments are now being sent to the states, some of which are carefully guarding the stocks in secret locations.
The government is also sending 400,000 treatments to Mexico, which has been hardest hit by the flu strain. The United States government has already ordered 13 million new treatments to replenish the American stockpile. Health authorities and drug companies say that supplies are generally ample for the two drugs that would be vital to treating a pandemic caused by swine flu, but that they are acting to prevent hoarding.
Some pharmacies in the United States and some other countries have run out of the drugs, in part because of strong demand from consumers who are not sick but want to have them — just in case.
GlaxoSmithKline is now allocating supplies of its drug, Relenza, to areas of the United States or the world most in need of it, a spokesman for the company said. In France, where there was a run on Tamiflu in pharmacies, Roche, which makes the drug, has stopped supplying it to drugstores to preserve supplies for hospitals.
Health authorities and the manufacturers say that the supply of the two drugs is best in countries that have built stockpiles in the last few years in preparation for a possible pandemic.
“There are no reports, and we don’t expect any reports, of shortages of antivirals in any states,” Dr. Richard Besser, the acting director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, said Thursday at a news conference.
The federal government has a stockpile with enough medicine to treat 50 million people. Some 11 million of those treatments are now being sent to the states, some of which are carefully guarding the stocks in secret locations.
The government is also sending 400,000 treatments to Mexico, which has been hardest hit by the flu strain. The United States government has already ordered 13 million new treatments to replenish the American stockpile.
Please CLICK HERE to read the rest of the entry.
6. The New York Times reports about the quick action of HK authorities:
Six years after SARS paralyzed this city and killed 299 of its citizens, Hong Kong is not taking chances with swine flu.
Within minutes of the confirmation on Friday evening of Asia’s first swine flu case — a 25-year-old traveler from Mexico — the police had cordoned off the hotel where the young man stayed for fewer than seven hours on Thursday afternoon and evening.
More than 200 guests will be quarantined in the building for a week, just in case they were exposed to the virus.
Roughly 100 hotel staff members will also be quarantined for at least one night at the hotel, and then at government vacation camps that are being converted into quarantine centers.
“No one can enter or leave the hotel without the permission of a health officer,” said Dr. Lam Ping-yan, Hong Kong’s director of health.
Everyone who sat in the five rows closest to the Mexican traveler on a flight from Shanghai to Hong Kong at midday on Thursday is being contacted and will also be quarantined for a week, along with the aircraft’s flight crew.
For the rest of this report, please CLICK THIS LINK.
7. If you wish to know FAQs about the virus, please go to THIS LINK.
A friend shared a wonderful story recently in a seminar on "Smart Parenting." She said that ever since her children were little, she's set aside special one-on-one time with each of her
children. She made a commitment to do this once a week and put it on the calendar. As her children became teenagers, this became harder to do, but yet they persevered.
One time, my friend had an important work commitment that conflicted with the breakfast date she'd made with her 15-year-old son. When she told him that they'd have to postpone, he actually got tears in his eyes, even though they were just postponing the date until the next day.
Wouldn't we all love to have that type of bond with our children, at any age?
We talk a lot about "attachment" when our children are young, but then the conversation fades to other topics. I contend that we must work diligently to make sure our attachment with our children is ever-growing and ever deepening. In fact, I believe that keeping attachment strong
is our most critical task.
Attachment is the basis from which discipline, respect, communication and authority grow. When your attachment is firmly grounded, the other parenting duties are more likely
to be effective.
Many factors contribute to keeping "attachment" strong as our children grow. Being emotionally available to our children, loving them unconditionally, meeting their basic needs, being consistent in our discipline, being responsive to their pain and maintaining open communication, to name a few. But I believe that one of the most concrete things that you can do to deepen attachment is to spend one-on-one "special time" each week with each child.
Why is this so important?
A child is far more likely to reveal intimate feelings to you when you're alone with him or her. It’s highly unlikely that a child, who may be feeling vulnerable already, will reveal perceived weaknesses in front of a sibling. But, given time to let down his/her guard with you, s/he may let you in on struggles s/he wouldn't reveal at the dinner table.
By having your sole attention, your child will feel valued. You're making a huge statement that nothing else is more important to you right now. Your child will treasure this time.
Remember when your kids were little and they’d say, "Look at me!?” They still need us to look at them and let them know that they're #1.
In his book, "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families" Stephen Covey talks about an "Emotional Bank Account" that you can develop with other family members. He says
the Emotional Bank Account "is like a financial account that can make deposits by proactively doing things that build trust in the relationship, or you can make withdrawals by reactively doing things that decrease the level of trust."
Things like being kind, apologizing, not criticizing others, keeping promises, forgiving and providing unconditional love, all contribute to the bank account.
Weekly one-on-one time with each child will contribute a substantial deposit in the emotional bank account from which you can leverage things like compliance to your requests, respect, and honest communication.
Here are some guidelines for getting started:
*Start small. You can commit to as little as 15 to 30-minutes a week.
*Put the special time on the calendar in ink! Try very hard to keep that commitment.
*Let the child choose how you spend your time together. The child's inner needs will direct them to choose an activity that brings them joy. Let the child be the leader for a change! (Before you get started, feel free to set boundaries about the activities, such as the amount of time or the cost.)
* Make positive statements about your child during this time.
*Enjoy!
Given that attachment is the base from which all other aspects of parenting flow, I hope you'll consider making this weekly "investment" that is guaranteed to bring you even closer to your child.
written by Toni Schutta
Author's Bio
Toni Schutta, Parent Coach, M.A., L.P., Families First Coaching, is Self Growth’s Official Guide to Parenting. Visit getparentinghelpnow.com to receive the free mini-course “The 7 Worst Mistakes Parents Make (and How to Avoid Them!) and to preview 17 on-line parenting classes that solve the most common parenting problems you face.
