Ever since my older boy went away for his studies, life has not been the same again. The most conspicuous change is the fact that I seldom cook and that my kitchen has now become another storage area for my books. How can that be possible? In my house, my books are stored in every nook and corner of the house, even in the bathrooms!
Anyway, coming back to the main point, these days, my family eat out on weekends and it is a real chore to decide where to go. After being with him for more than 32 years of my life (he survived being with me hehe), either one of us will pop the question as early as 4 p.m. in the afternoon. I am sure this scenario is quite common for many couples....
From my experience, men are usually quite 'scared' of three responses.
RESPONSE NO. 1 : WHATEVER
Man: Where shall we go for dinner?
Woman: Whatever..
Man: Shall we have steamboat?
Woman: Don't want. Eating steamboat can cause tummy upsets.
Man: Alright, let's have Indian cuisine.
Woman: Yesterday, we already had nasi kandar, have you forgotten?
Man: Hmm..... I suggest we have seafood.
Woman: Seafood is not a good idea. I might get diarrhea.
Man: Then what you suggest?
Woman : Whatever..
RESPONSE NO. 2: ANYTHING
Man: So what should we do now?
Woman: Anything.
Man: How about watching a movie? It's been a long time since we went to the cinema.
Woman: Watching movies is not a good idea and a sheer waste of time.
Man: How about bowling or exercising?
Woman: Exercising on such a hot day? You've got to be joking! Don’t you feel tired?
Man: Then we can find a café and have drink.
Woman: Drinking coffee or tea at this time of the day will affect my sleep.
Man: So, what you suggest then?
Woman: Anything!!!
RESPONSE NO. 3 : You decide
Man: Then we can just go home lo.....
Woman: You decide..
Man: Let’s take a bus. We have not had a bus ride for years.
Woman: Gosh! Buses are so dirty and crowded. Don't want!!!
Man: Ok we will take a taxi.
Woman: Not worth it la... for such a short distance.
Man: Alright, then we walk lo. Take a slow walk.
Woman: I am so hungry now and with my empty stomach how do you expect me to walk?
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: You decide
Men: Let's have dinner first
Women: Whatever...
Men: Eat what?
Women: Anything
(Look around... if no one's here, just kill her....)
Dear reader, tell me honestly....do the above responses sound familiar????
Have a nice day!
The laws of golf
LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime.
LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.
LAW 3: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.
LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.
LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly chant "You looked up," or invoke the wrath of the universe.
LAW 6: The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor.
LAW 7: Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate golfers. The shorter the hole, the greater its desire.
LAW 8: Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture known to man.
LAW 9: Palm trees eat golf balls.
LAW 10: Sand is alive. If it isn't, how do you explain the way it works against you?
LAW 11: Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point from the clubhouse.
LAW 12: A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and an IRS agent -- or some similar combination.
LAW 13: All 3-woods are demon-possessed.
LAW 14: Golf balls from the same "sleeve" tend to follow one another, particularly out of bounds or into the water (See Law three).
LAW 15: A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty.
LAW 16: "Nice lag" can usually be translated to "lousy putt." Similarly, "tough break" can usually be translated "way to miss an easy one, sucker."
LAW 17: The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the one who beats you.
LAW 18: The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.
LAW 19: Golf should be given up at least twice per month.
LAW 20: All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until the sunset.
A Golf Lesson
The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson.
"Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t?'' she asked the instructor.
"P-u-t-t is correct,'' he replied.
"Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."
The problems with golf
The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people always end up behind you.
Religious battle golf
The Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, the former leader of Israel. "Your holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior, by challenging you to a golf match." The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held a golf club in his life.
"Not to worry," said the Cardinal, "we'll call America and talk to Jack Nicklaus. We'll make him a Cardinal, he can play Shimon Peres... We can't lose!" Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made and, of course, Jack was honored and agreed to play.
The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of his success in the match. "I came in second, your Holiness," said Nicklaus.
"Second?!!" exclaimed the surprised Pope. "You came in second to Shimon Peres?!!"
"No," said Nicklaus, "second to Rabbi Woods."
