WHAT ARE LAWS IF THERE ARE NO VALUES, MORALS OR ETHICS GOVERNING ONE'S ACTIONS & WORDS?

Posted by Unknown On Monday, July 20, 2009 2 comments

In today’s highly competitive modern world, we can read more and more press reports about unethical behaviour in business, politics or even social activities. And how do we feel about it? Indifferent? Emotional? Have we become blase, numb, calloused or de-sensitized because such news seems to be the norm more than ever? Or are we part of the voice that is rising in crescendo to object to current trends?

In the light of recent events which have triggered silent national outrage, some leaders seem to have forgotten that values underpin the rules by which one can make responsible and sane decisions about good and bad, right and wrong, or simply about our likes or dislikes. What happens when one goes about one’s duties without an upright value system?

What about morals? Morals are about good and bad. People are judged more on their morals than values. A person can be described as immoral, yet there is no word for them not following values. What happens when one's action, even in the line of duty, reflects a lack of morals?

Let's not forget professional ethics. They are the rules or standards governing the conduct of a person or the members of a profession. Any organization will have a code of conduct for its members. One begins to wonder if that particular organization which is making headlines has a code of conduct and, if so, what is being done to ensure that its staff members adhere to this. Or is it a free for all with no cctv cameras around? Far too many unanswered questions have stirred the rumblings from the north to south, east to west and these rumblings are rising to a higher pitch day by day ...

The bottom line is that morals, values and ethics are more than just sayings, rules or laws. They imply a duty or action that one should take. But they also imply that taking these actions is “right” or “good”. Not performing in that way is “wrong” or “bad”.

One of the problems of upholding morals and values in business is that the morals and values of one person may differ from that of another, even that of the majority of society who do not conform to negative influences. But what happens if its leaders do not seem to place an emphasis on fairness, justice and non-discrimination?

It is therefore an obligation of leaders to define basic values, morals and values that they want their staff members to adhere to. This can be done in team mission statements or when defining team goals or business policies. One cannot attempt to reduce the collateral damage inflicted by irresponsible members by hypocritical, trite or overgeneralized, illogical, ridiculous and implausible statements that attempt to rationalize the questionable, unethical and irresponsible acts!

One’s morals extend beyond merely knowing a policy or even knowing the law. Very often, people who are sentenced admit that they knew what they did was wrong, but they did it anyway!

Some people do not answer the question: “Is it right?” before they carry out a task. They simply see the task as a way of getting what they want by obeying instruction even if it goes beyond sane limits and they simply carry out the act.

Any organization or leader must encourage honesty and high moral standards as the actions of an individual in the team can impugn the moral ethos of the entire team or organization as recent events have shown. And this cannot be an overnight affair. In the first place, one must look at the life of the leader and assess if she has displayed exemplary behaviour and if not, why was he or she chosen to lead in the first place?

One cannot fool the people all the time. It only takes one or two people to realise what is going on, to expose the poor morals and bring disrepute to the organization. It is obviously a worry if that unhealthy trend or practice is in the ascendant. The more frequent the errors made, the bigger the implication of moral decline in the organization.

Most people say their conscience bothers them when they do something wrong. This conscience is both intellectual and emotional. It involves both knowing right from wrong and having a good or guilty feeling or notion about what you are doing. What happens if the evidence shows that some have acted with no conscience, accountability and humanity?

Most religions teach us that each of us has an inner voice or conscience. This conscience may be stronger in some people than in others. So why then is conscience absent? Can those who are responsible for misdeeds sleep in peace, eat normally and smile at the rest of society and say all’s well that ends well? Or are they haunted by the ghost of their past misconduct? In every way they turn, will they hear the voice of their inner man beckoning them to confession?

Studies have shown that people with low self-esteem, who are not properly socialized with the correct value system are more likely to act immorally as they do not care enough about themselves to consider their actions to be important. Their belief in their lack of importance makes doing either right or wrong seem unimportant, and diminishes their conscience or guilt. At the end of the day, one may be motivated by false ideological aims or even material gains or blind obedience to masters. Is this the way Man is progressing in what is supposed to be a modern society? How pathetic!

At the rate events unfold, it is imperative for all quarters from the family to school to wider society to the authorities concerned to value the inputs of each employee and, treating these with respect, to encourage high self-esteem actions and eschew whatever prejudices, wrong attitudes – admittedly a monumental task indeed – and develop into wholesome individuals of a society that is united, fair and equal, admittedly a tall order, but nevertheless a worthwhile dream.

The current negative political climate whereby dirty linen is washed in public and members of one party attack another is most unhealthy. How one feels about others also determines one's moral sense. If one values others highly, one will be considerate and act with compassion and moral sense. One will consider the effect one’s actions will have on others and will want to do what is right and good.

However, if one feels that others have hurt one and are against one, one may lose empathy for their feelings. And that is exactly what we can see in the current scenario. One may not recognise their value and worth and may not feel compassion for their welfare. No wonder, some show no compassion at the death of a poor young man with a promising future.

Many books or theories highlight personality types, especially the defunct, who are empathy-challenged in that they may have an empty or a limited capacity for empathy. In fact, they could be so narcissistic that they view themselves as a gift to the world, perfect and the epitome of the perfect leader to lead society ... may I add – to destruction.

When looking at “the enemy”, narcissistic leaders will not have compassion for them. Their conscience, if it exists, is in abeyance when acting against an enemy. A good example is in the business world where people may incorrectly see their competitors as the enemy and engage in immoral business practices to “beat” or financially disadvantage the enemy. Stealing is stealing, and if you acquire money immorally at someone else’s expense it will eventually backfire and reflect negatively on you or the business you represent. But what will happen if such characters become political leaders? Would criminalisation of politics crystallize, especially if one has power, money, influence and status?

Being the idealist that I am, I believe that human nature is basically good and most people will not try to “gain” or “win” at the expense of harming or disabling another – unless they are evil personified and one can tell by the wake of evil deeds these black sheep leave behind.

Ultimately, it is important to remember that somehow, we are all connected and any action that we take in life or business should not hamper the success, health or welfare of another. As humans, it is our obligation and duty to contribute to the growth and success of us all but alas, as society progresses, Man seems to have regressed in many ways and what we are witnessing in many parts of the world is the de-fragmentation of society.

The current mood is quite depressing. The situation seems bleak with little hope of change and wherever we turn, we can read more and more depressing news. In fact, I know of many who have stopped caring but indifference and passivity can only exacerbate matters and stunt growth or catalysts for change. We can do something in our own little ways as long as it does not break the law. All it takes are small steps we take to stir the collective consciousness and moral ground of others for them to know that the next time round, they must vote by their conscience and not by party or any other reason to right the wrongs in our beautiful country.

In closing, when I was in Year 1 in the late 1960's, I sang "Berjaya" proudly. My parents thought I was beyond redemption but even at that young age, I remember how my heart swelled with pride and how I stood upright and sang one of my favourite songs with so much gusto. That song still holds meaning for me because no matter what, if each and every citizen or leader were to speak, act and work with a clear conscience and full realization of their vital role in nation-building, certainly Malaysia will 'berjaya" (succeed)....

I know only that what is moral is what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after. – Ernest Hemingway in "Death in the Afternoon."


WILDLIFE PHOTO CONTEST WINNERS

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Many thanks to dear Angela who sent me the following pics in an email. Please CLICK THIS LINK and then enjoy the fantastic photography of wildlife. Have a nice day!


DO YOU PRAISE YOUR KIDS?

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Why don’t you ever praise me?

The dictionary defines praise as the act of expressing approval, admiration or commendation. Every one of us desires praise at some level, and in one form or another. Praise is a member of the family of emotional needs: validation, recognition, approval, acceptance, support, encouragement, significance, self-expression, bonding, friendship, and so forth.


Children and praise

Many of my adult clients suffer from various emotional symptoms as a result of not receiving praise as a child which is also equivalent to validation and guidance. Adults who didn’t receive praise as a child often suffer from self-doubt, insecurity and a lingering sense of not being or feeling good enough. Some turn into perfectionists, workaholics, or highly judgmental people. Unfortunately, today, the balance has tipped in favor of unhealthy praise by parents for their children.

Unhealthy refers to false praise which can create even more emotional problems into adulthood such as narcissism, vanity, depression and the inability to form meaningful and fulfilling relationships.

Healthy praise is the act of expressing approval, admiration, commendation, congratulations and credit for specific reasons and particularly for accomplishments.

The key to all praise is that it be deserved. Here are some other tips for praising children:

* Praise a child based on her own progress (teach her to improve her own performance rather than compete with others)
* Encourage good behavior with praise
* Reward the attainment of specific goals, not just participation
* Praise small improvements and successes
* Be descriptive and specific with your praise

Few adults, business leaders and even CEOs of major companies know how to praise properly and effectively. Most of us don’t realize that whatever it is that you praise, you will get more of. I was training a group of hotels from one of the world’s largest hotel chains. I asked participants to take turns in giving praise to fellow team members. I asked one gentleman to stand up and praise the head chef. This man stood up and proceeded to congratulate the chef for the superb Seafood Omelette, mentioning how much he enjoyed it. I asked the participants if they believed the chef would want to cook that same omelette again. The answer was a resounding yes. Now I began to praise the chef for the same omelette: I mentioned the creativity, presentation, hard work, thought, care and time the chef had given to prepare this omelette as well as the result and pleasure I received from it. I asked the chef which praise did he prefer, mine or the other man’s. He said mine. Why? I praised his specific qualities and dish rather than just the specific dish; my praise encouraged him to express more of these qualities rather than cook more of the same omelettes. Unbeknownst to me at the time, the man who gave the initial praise was a manager of one of the hotels. Later, when we spoke, he said he now understood why his wife cooks the same dish almost day after day - he kept praising just the dish and not her qualities, and, so she gave him more of what he praised!

Incidentally, in the corporate world, more emphasis is placed on criticism than praise and encouragement. For that reason many people resent their job, boss and company.

We express praise in many ways. We applaud the performance of singers, dancers and actors; we cheer for our sports teams and players; we tip waiters and other hospitality staff; we express affection - we hug friends and family. The praise most of us seek is from our loved ones and the people closest to us - parents, siblings, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc. Most of us believe that if the person is important to us, then what they say is also important.

I never received the praise of my father so I never believed he was interested or proud of my achievements or accomplishments. In fact, he focused on criticism rather than praise and it takes six times more praise to neutralize one criticism. Nonetheless, one of the results for me was that I never learned to enjoy, appreciate, acknowledge or recognize my accomplishments. Instead, I simply turned my attention to the next challenge. The benefit was that I created and accomplished a lot in a very small amount of time. The disadvantage was that I would hover between bouts of apathy towards praise and bouts of seeking, desiring and almost demanding praise in relationships. Worse, I did not know how to praise nor understand the significance of praise. Remember, you cannot speak or express a language that you have never learned. Accordingly, I made a concerted effort to learn to give praise.

And this is the key: begin to praise others and yourself - recognize your own achievements, successes and accomplishments as well as those of others. The more good you see in others, the more good you will see in you, and the more good you see in you, the more good you will see in others. Begin today to learn the language of praise by expressing it: applaud, honor, congratulate, pay tribute to, credit, respect, commend, admire and approve others. Write it; say it; express it today! And when you do it, don’t do it expecting a response from the person receiving it - simply give it away! You might need to push yourself at first to notice praiseworthy things and to express praise, but you will see small yet powerful changes as you keep doing it.

Author's Bio
PATRICK WANIS is a Celebrity Life Coach, Human Behavior & Relationship Expert who provides weight loss hypnosis programs and many other Hypnosis programs.


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