If experience is the greatest teacher, and hindsight is 20/20, then what can be said of observation?
Observation is defined as: 1 a: an act or instance of observing a custom, rule, or law b: observance 2 a: an act of recognizing and noting a fact or occurrence often involving measurement with instruments b: a record or description so obtained 3: a judgment on or inference from what one has observed.
No matter which definition one may choose, employing the power of observation is a choice.
What derails us in this decision making process? The fact that we are often so preoccupied with how we are being perceived that we don't - or can't - observe others with the deliberate focus that will provide us with valuable information and insight into a person's character, values, and motives.
By being self-absorbed we miss blatant and random clues that reveal the truth. Egocentricity also mutes intuitive ("gut") feelings that would other wise be heard, but unfortunately get ignored.
Only when we overcome our urge to be understood and accepted, can we fully engage in the process of understanding and accepting. People tell us what they want us to know, not what we need to know about them. The power of observation cuts through smoke screens and delivers clarity.
To activate your powers of observation, two things are required. First, you must shut-up. That's right, stop talking - both to yourself (in your mind) and to others. When your mouth is closed, your ears and eyes magically open wider.
The second step is to gather verbal and non-verbal information without thinking about it. This is easier said than done, but can be mastered with practice.
Writer Malcolm Gladwell refers to this process in his book Blink as "thin-slicing."
Thin-slicing calls upon the use of limited information to come to conclusions. He says that by thinking without thinking (too much), sizing up situations and determining how we feel about someone or something based not on voluminous new information, but rather on our accumulated experiences, is a good thing.
Both "thin-slicing" and using the power of observation, are concerned with the challenge of identifying and focusing on only the most significant information.
Gladwell was quoted in an interview as saying: "We live in a world that assumes that the quality of a decision is directly related to the time and effort that went into making it," he writes. "And what do we tell our children? Haste makes waste. Look before you leap. Stop and think. Don't judge a book by its cover."
The power of observation does not give you the ability to judge a book by its cover; however, it does give you a very strong indication as to what the book is about.
Through the observation of people and their surroundings, you will be able to pick up on key messages about who they are, what they think, what they value, and how they really feel, all without you ever having to ask a question - if you pay attention to the clues and the cues.
How does your boss dress? Meticulously? Or slovenly? Studies reveal that there is a direct correlation between how business owners dress and the way they run their companies. A boss who dresses meticulously is more likely to be organized and pay greater attention to the details of running their business. A boss who is sloven in their appearance is more likely to overlook details and lack vision for the future of the company.
Does your new love interest sit back in his chair while you are talking? Or does he lean forward? Leaning forward means he's drawn into the conversation; leaning back means he's withdrawn and disinterested. Does your boyfriend listen to you with his arms closed? He's sending a clue that he is closed off to what you are saying and is not receptive. Crossed arms also convey protection when a person feels they are under attack and feel the need to take a defensive stance.
These are just some of the non-verbal clues that provide us with honest information during our interactions with others, but the power of observation is not limited to real-time involvement with people. It happens most, and perhaps best, when the person you are observing isn't aware of it or is not even present.
What would someone know about you just by visiting your house when you are not there? What does your office reveal about your personality and work habits? What does the interior of your car say about how you live your life?
An interesting article entitled A Room With a Cue: Personality Judgments Based on Offices and Bedrooms by Samuel D. Gosling and Sei Jin Ko of the University of Texas at Austin examines how people spend many of their waking hours in their personal living and work environments.
They found that everything from the choice of colors, patterns, motifs, and de´cor reveal not only personal taste and aesthetics, but self-directed identity claims intended to reinforce self-views which intentionally communicate attitudes and values to others. These statements might be sincere and intended to convey truthful messages about what the individual is really like, but they may also be strategic, even deceptive statements intended to portray the individual in a certain light.
Their research reveals that personal environments, such as offices and bedrooms, are good receptacles of such interior behavioral residue (Webb, Campbell, Schwartz, & Sechrest, 1966) where individuals spend a great deal of time, and certain behaviors are performed repeatedly in these environments.
The term behavioral residue to refer to the physical traces of activities conducted in one's environment. Although most cues will reflect past behaviors, there may also be some clues to anticipated behaviors; for example, an unopened bottle of wine and a set of beanbag chairs arranged in a circle on the floor may indicate a social occupant who is planning to entertain guests.
So in other words, your office space communicates volumes about you, so does the condition in which you keep the interior of your car - as well as the items you keep in it. These are all indicators of who you are, what you do (have done or will be doing), and how you live.
With consistent practice you will soon learn that it's not what people say, but what their non-verbal messages communicate to you through the power of observation that truly matter.
Author's Bio
Gian Fiero is a speaker and author who lectures throughout the country.
We’ve all paid our dues–at some point–for the sake of our kids, muscling through the parental prerequisite ninety minutes of yet another disengaging children’s movie. Think “Lilo and Stitch” or “Curly Sue”…
On the other hand, we‘ve also experienced the moment, sitting in those same theater seats, when we realized we were watching a surprisingly great work of art–“The Lion King”, “Toy Story” and “Babe”—that makes it all worth while.
In “Finding Nemo”, the voices of our favorite actors brought to life a new underwater world, making us laugh and cry as our children’s eyes widened at the wonder of the big screen. As Nemo’s dad, Marlin, rode the EAC (East Australian Current) with Crush, the surfer Turtle, in search of his lost son, we could easily relate:
Crush: Okay. Squirt here will now give you a rundown of proper exiting technique.
Squirt: Good afternoon. We’re gonna have a great jump today. Okay, first crank a hard cutback as you hit the wall. There’s a screaming bottom curve, so watch out. Remember: rip it, roll it, and punch it.
Marlin: It’s like he’s trying to speak to me, I know it.
Marlin [to Squirt]: Look, you’re really cute, but I can’t understand what you’re saying. Say the first thing again.
One of the characteristics of a magnificent work of art is the non-verbal reference to the human condition. Who would have ever thought that surfing turtles and animated fish would give us such an exquisite lesson about riding the current of our own lives?
According ancient Taoist beliefs, there is, in fact, a current for each of us. This current is one we can choose to struggle against, trying to gain control, turning variables into fixtures…or one we can choose to succumb to, allowing ourselves to relax and let go, accepting that there is a universal energy meant to carry us along as our lives shape and form into the way they are meant to be.
English writer Aldous Huxley (1894-1963) was considered a high ranking intellectual and leader of modern thought. He discussed the very idea of swimming against the current long before Nemo pixilated into our lives. He explained, “There is a Law of Reversed Effort. The harder we try with the conscious will to do something, the less we shall succeed. Proficiency and the results of proficiency come only to those who have learned the paradoxical art of doing and not doing, or combining relaxation with activity, of letting go as a person in order that the immanent and transcendent Unknown Quantity may take hold. We cannot make ourselves understand; the most we can do is to foster a state of mind, in which understanding may come to us.”
We all have phases during which we’re at the mercy of the surge and swell of life, when we do not progress forward despite expending great amounts of energy to move our heavy legs through the strong, murky water…when the sound of our voice bubbles from our mouths like it did when we were ten, having a tea party through the caustic lighting of the water at the bottom of the pool.
But the sooner we realize the times when our exhausting struggle is not simply a wave—when we are actually moving against the natural flow of our life–the sooner we will discover the free flowing current—our very own EAC—right in front of us. And we will see how easy, upon surrendering, it is to submerge and be propelled forward in the direction of our own personal destinies.
And, like Marlin in Nemo, we will finally find what we have been looking for all along.
written by Wendy Brache
Published in The Broomfield Enterprise, 12/16/07
A doctor on his morning walk, noticed an older lady sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said, "I couldn't help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?"
"I smoke ten cigars a day," she said.
"Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don't exercise at all."
"That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?"
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"Thirty-four," she replied.
* Thanks to Freddie who sent me this post.
So often we mention the importance of preparation without discussing what it means and what it entails. That's a mistake.
The definition of preparation varies from one person to the next; therefore it is possible to lack preparation from the very beginning of any process in one person's view, and to be totally prepared in another's. It happens all the time and it shouldn't - especially in team situations where individual preparation is key to the collective preparation of the team.
Merriam-Webster defines preparation as the following: 1 a: a prior action that takes into account or forestalls a later action b: the act of looking forward; especially: pleasurable expectation.
Looking forward is anticipation. Because we are conditioned to think of preparation in terms of "levels," anticipation is often overlooked as a major component to being fully prepared. According to George Vaillant, professor of psychiatry at Harvard, anticipation is an "adaptive mental mechanism." He defines anticipation as "the capacity to perceive future danger effectively as well as cognitively and by this means to master conflict in small steps" (Vaillant, 2000).
The concept of being fully prepared, for many, means the amount of time that you spend in preparation; physically, academically, or experientially. What about mentally? The greatest anticipation there is, is knowing what is likely to occur or what we are likely to experience in any conceivable situation or scenario.
From professional sports teams who spend hundreds of hours studying film of competing team's tendencies in order to better anticipate what they may do when they play them, to companies who conduct exhaustive background checks on executives to examine their past behavioral tendencies in an effort to anticipate how they will perform in a new position in the future, anticipation enhances and solidifies the aforementioned forms of preparation.
Though many reports say that 9-11 could have been prevented, the reality is that it occurred because it was not anticipated. Experience and imagination is the key to anticipation. The 9-11 attacks were both heinous and unimaginable. We were not prepared to defense such an attack simply because we could not imagine it. After the experience of 9-11, we are better prepared to prevent and defend such an attack because it is now within the realm of our imaginations, and thus can be anticipated. Our focus should now be on anticipating the next unimaginable attack.
Bill Belichick, head coach of the New England Patriots, said that the most important part of coaching is getting the players prepared to anticipate any and every scenario that can arise in the scope of a game. No wonder his quarterback, Tom Brady, has been so effective at engineering wins in the waning moments of football games: he practices those scenarios.
But it was the New York Giant's quarterback Eli Manning and wide receiver Plaxico Burress who put in more time anticipating a last minute drive, capped off by their end zone throw-and-catch which won the game for them in the Super Bowl which effectively ended hopes of the Patriots completing what would have been the first perfect season - of any sports team - in history.
Announcers showed footage of the two rehearsing the winning play over, and over, and over again before the game which they showed when it ended. The Patriots did not get out played in their historic Super Bowl run; they were out anticipated.
Whether we are preparing for an interview, our first day on the job, a project, a venture, or for athletic competition, being able to anticipate any and every scenario that can arise which may pose a threat to our success or pleasurable expectations is vital.
If you lack experience, tapping into someone else's experience will enable you to better anticipate what you may encounter in a given situation or scenario. If you have experience, think imaginatively. What types of questions are least likely to be asked? Prepare for them. What type of circumstances are you least likely to face? Anticipate what you will do if you find yourself facing them. Once you do this instinctively, you will not only arrive at a higher level of preparation, but will step into a different dimension of preparation; one which others seldom enter.
Author's Bio
Gian Fiero is a speaker and author who lectures throughout the country.
