I am sure you would agree that there have been moments in our lives when we wished that we had done or said this and that and peerhaps even blame ourselves for not doing enough in our lives. In such vulnerable moments, it is easy to martyr ourselves. That self-destruction mode must be put to an end! Life is about living and cherishing precious moments, not about the losses or mistakes we made.
Lately, I have so much time on my hands which is why I am writing twice a day in my blog - a sharp contrast indeed to the period when I wrote like maybe once a month because I was too saddened by the events in my country. During my moments of reflection, I realized that the tendency to accentuate the negative and to put ourselves down can be traced to our Asian culture and the attempt to remain modest.
Well, for this evening's post, I am going to lead you down memory lane to think of those unforgettable moments in your life...and hopefully to inspire and to remind you that you are a unique person in this world who has blessed many others with your words, actions, thoughts and most of all....your life solely because of who you are.
Do you remember the time when you were there to help your brother or sister when they fell down, hurt themselves or were hurt by others? The times when you gave up your favorite candy or eraser or something precious for them just so that they could smile again and then when they did, you smiled?
Can you recall the time when you felt so weak and yet courageous enough to be present during the last moments when your loved one passed away and how you cried your eyes out and willed yourself to be strong? Then, you found the strength to hold on to the beautiful memories even though sometimes these made you cry? In doing so, you found peace within yourself and moved on...albeit without them beside you anymore. Still, you could do it because they will always remain in your heart.
If you are a woman, do you remember when you gave birth and when you went through before and after the birth of your children? If you are a man, can you remember how you held your wife's hand when you were there for your child’s birth? What about how we survived conflicts with our spouses, children and family members and could still continue to love them?
What about the way you dealt with the challenges in your life? Some of us may have been raised with certain negative patterns of behavior in the family but chose not to continue the cycle. Then there could be others like me who have been challenged with an illness and became healthy again. Some of us could be pet lovers so let us not forget how we survived the death of our beloved pet and could continue to have acres of love for new pets.
Then there could be some of us who were always there for our friends, listening to their struggles and pains and doing whatever we could to help them through their divorce or when they lost their bearings in life...
I am sure some of us have lived through losing a job and then appreciating that it brought us on a new path, one which we would not have chosen if that had not happened to us...and then as we breathe again at the memory of it all, we realize so much about ourselves, about people....
Others could have been through very bad times such as a natural disaster or a financial crisis and walked out of that situation with a stronger connection to humanity as we learn to value things and to appreciate people at a different level from before.
Perhaps some of us, through disappointments and failure, have mastered the art of acknowledging others who are better than ourselves, because of humility that we developed along the journey of life. I guess we became greater when we stopped putting the blame on others and taking more responsibility for our own lives and to detach ourselves from toxic characters bent on hurting us.
I guess if we sit down and reflect on the years gone by, we can be more aware of how we have achieved personal growth such as in the area of communication, or even the way we look at life, ourselves and to deal with whatever cognitive dissonance which may occur. Then, as we take stock, we will realize that we charted our own lives, gave of ourselves, love so much in spite of what others say simply because we dared, we cared and we want to love....
At the end of the day, it is all up to us to give a resounding “YES” to life and in doing so, we gain so much for ourselves because we will become much wiser, stronger, smarter with a greater sense of humor and a huge capacity to love ourselves and others.
So dear reader, when there are times you feel down and out, remember the melting moments of your life...how you loved, were loved and the love you leave behind in the hearts of others...Don't forget you have found your way to live, to love, to make a difference and to give back to others because you want to and not because you have to...
YOU ARE SPECIAL!!!! And please don't forget that!
Have a lovely weekend!
I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.
A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.
Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.
I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'
I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies.
I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.
Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.
Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.
The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.
This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.
MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.
After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.
The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.
At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked..
Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep.
At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.
When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point.
Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand.
There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.
'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me..
'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.
I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.
Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.
On the subject of Colonoscopies....
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!'
2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'
3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'
4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'
5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'
6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'
7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...' (hahahaha!~ I loved this one!!)
8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'
9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'
10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'
11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'
12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'
And the best one of all:
13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'
written by Dave Barry
ABOUT THE WRITER
Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.
* Many thanks to Freddie who sent me this post! Have a nice day and a great weekend!
Do you listen? Do you take time to listen to those who talk to you? To those who love you? To those who mean a lot to you, in particular, your children? I hope we do because trends indicate that many parents have lost the art of listening to their children.
One of the most important things that we can do as parents is to listen to our children with an open mind and an open heart. This is so important and yet so difficult as well because both parties always want to be heard, but seldom ready to listen to each other. Parents are the ones with whom kids can say exactly what they’re thinking and feeling without judgment, after all, they created them so to speak.
If we want to leave positive influences on our children's development, we have to practise the art of listening. As parents, we often feel the need to guide or control our children but sometimes, the very best thing we can do is to listen, just listen.
Listen!!!!!
When we do that, we are giving our children one message - that we love them enough to hear what they want to tell us and at the same time, we are willing to give them the chance to resolve conflicts on their own and for them to know that we support them in our own way by being there for them when they need us.
Sometimes, they may rant. It is fine. Even adults rant! I do too! What we need to do is to create a safe haven for our children to express themselves to us openly. And then, when they know that they have our presence, love and support, they are more likely to think and to feel without fear, guilt or shame. Then when they are ready, they will talk to us. When we honor them by listening to them, they can be clearer in their thinking and communication to be empowered and to grow as persons. Sometimes, we may have to listen to what they have to say and then only talk to them but the point is to be able to communicate with them with love and respect. Conflicts may occur but just when we think parenting is difficult, listen. When we listen, it also gives us time to cool down and to be calmer thus defusing the explosive situation. Listening may work miracles, but the truth is, the real miracle is the natural wisdom that exists within our child. In fact, the real miracle is our children - gifts from heaven above for us to treasure, and to love.
The next time our kids tell us, "Hey mom...do you want to know a secret?" - all we need to do is LISTEN. :-). Have a nice day!
*While I was preparing for this morning's post at about 9pm last night, the song "Do you want to know a secret?" came to my mind and I wanted to write something about the art of listening. Then along the way, I wanted to do something on the song....since I could not decide, I have done both :-). Enjoy the following section on the song....:-)
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In 1963, the Beatles had a hit with this song "Do you want to know a secret?" which was written by John Lennon and Paul McCartney. At that time, John Lennon was living with Cynthia Lennon at 36 Faulkner Street in a flat that had been given to the newly married couple by Brian Epstein following Cynthia's pregnancy. The song is basically about John declaring how much in love with the girl in his life.
He was inspired to write this song from a song that his mother Julia used to play for him when he was young. This song was none other that the one from the Walt Disney film ‘Snow white and the seven dwarfs’ when Snow White sings the song I’m wishing to the birds, the song contains the lyrics “wanna know a secret? Promise not to tell?”
On the other hand, the musical inspiration for this hit came from the Stereos song (1961) “I really love you”. Although it was actually John Lennon's heartfelt song, it was actually George Harrison who was the one who had the chance to sing for the recording. Ironically, John Lennin felt that the simplistically of the song would suit George’s limited singing ability as it only had a limited range. If you click on the following youtube video, you can see that the recording itself is very poorly mixed. In fact, if you listen closely, George’s lead guitar is lost down the right channel and the harmonies sung by John and Paul having far too much echo.
The song was given to Billy J Kramer and the Dakotas who performed it during their time playing the circuit in Germany . Billy didn't really like the song unlike the staff at EMI who liked it enough to offer him a recording contract and so he recorded the song for them. Soon, " Do you want to know a secret?" reached number two in the British charts and became the first song written by the Beatles for someone else that charted.
The team:
John Lennon: Backing vocals, rhythm guitar.
Paul McCartney: Backing vocals, Bass guitar.
George Harrison: Lead vocals, Lead Guitar
Ringo Starr: Drums
CLICK HERE to watch the music video of DO YOU WANT TO KNOW A SECRET?
Have a nice day!
