Golfer Goes to the Emergency Room
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.
"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball... stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. "That's when I made my mistake."
"What did you do?" asks the doctor.
"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, Hey, this looks like yours!"
One Man's Torture: A Golfing Tale
One day a man and his wife went golfing, as they frequently did together. They arrived at the 12th hole where the husband promptly hit a tremendous slice that ended up behind an old barn.
"I guess I'll just have to play it safe and chip it onto the fairway," said the man.
"No wait," said his wife. "You can hit the ball through the barn."
The man decided to give it a try. But he sliced the ball, which ricocheted off the barn and struck his wife in the head, killing her instantly. The man was distraught and wallowed in his misery for many weeks, depriving himself of golf the whole time.
Eventually he realized that he must face his demons and headed out to the very same golf course to play. Once again he found himself at the 12th hole and once again he hit a slice right behind the very same barn. As he was preparing to hit out safely to the fairway one of the other players in his foursome asked if he wanted to try and hit it through the barn.
"Oh no," replied the man, horrified. "I tried that last time."
"What happened?"
"I shot an 8!"
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A woman in a grocery store happens upon a grandfather and his poorly behaved 3 year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that Gramps has his hands full with the child screaming for candy in the candy aisle, cookies in the cookie aisle; same for fruit, cereal and soda in their respective aisles.
Meanwhile, Gramps is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, "Easy, Albert, we won't be long -- easy, boy." Another outburst, and she hears Gramps calmly say, "It's okay, Albert, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy."
At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart, and Gramps again in a controlled voice is says, "Albert,Albert, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, Albert."
Very impressed, the woman goes outside where Gramps is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. "You know, sir, it's none of my business, but you were amazing in there.. I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. Albert is very lucky to have you as his grandpa."
"Thanks, lady," said Gramps, "But, I'm Albert -- the little bastard's name is Steve." I'm going to beat the shit out of him when I get him home.
HAVE A NICE DAY!
I used to tell my better half that marriage has its four seasons. Spring - the beginnings of a new relationship, summer when things get hot, autumn when the initial excitement wears out and winter when heart's turned cold. Ideally, each of us is supposed to love our spouses endlessly and cannot imagine life without them. Even so, it is important to keep or to rekindle the flame of love burning bright. Loving our spouses can be quite a challenging process of commitment, renewal, nurturing and an effort to sustain what is fresh in the relationship.
Over the years, it is easy to let a marriage hit the wall and stagnate. Depression sets in and a new lease of life must be breathed into the relationship.
Realistically, we must realize that no marriage is perfect and each would go over bumps along the road. Marriage is not always fair, just, and beautiful. There could be times when we wanted to “throw in the towel” with our marriage. But in the end, it is our desire to save the relationship which is more important their desire to call it quits.
To have a successful marriage, we must also learn to fall in love with our spouses and if we truly want the marriage to work, we must make an effort to overcome the challenges to make it last a lifetime. Just as a car needs to be tuned up during a check-up, we need to do the same in marriage.
Perhaps routine or even our work commitments have distracted us from each other or the desire to have time together. Whatever it is, we all need to keep love alive and fall in love all over again.
First and foremost, remember always to tell your spouse how much you love them and why you do. Never, we repeat, never, make excuses for yourself by saying that you don't have to tell them you love them because they should know already. Never take your loved ones for granted. Start today.
Secondly, have fun with each other by dining out at your favorite restaurant or spend a night in a motel or take a vacation or prepare a meal at home. Do something that takes your relationship “beyond boring.” Do something together that makes your lives exciting and fun-filled. Marriages can fall into the pits but but it doesn’t have to be that way. Rediscover what makes you excited, what gives you a sense of adventure, and what makes your adrenalin flow! Successful marriages are not boring! Plan a passion starter today!
Thirdly, remember the importance of touch as a channel of love. Touch often and touch much. Hold hands when you walk. Feel the warmth. Feel the love. If you pass your spouse 100 times a day, touch them 100 times. By doing so, you are acknowledging their presence and you are telling them how much you love them. You cannot express love without the human touch so use the sense of touch to get closer to your spouse.
Fourthly,engage in a process to re-establish the communication links between you and your spouse. The communicative links between spouses are highly important and no love, no marriage, and no relationship can ever be sustained again without the re-establishment of the communicative ties that bind. Getting serious about communication in your relationship must be among your highest priorities.
All it takes is a little bit of love and kindness, tender loving care and loads of time, patience and effort to fall in love all over again - with our spouses. God bless you with a lifetime of happiness. Have a great day!
*My apologies to those who read this post between 6am to 10.30am and saw some of the typo errors in this post. I fell asleep while writing this post at about 3a.m. and was very sleepy when I was writing it. Alas, some errors slipped through the cracks when I was proofreading and it was only when I logged on and discovered these errors. Sorry!
