As Aristotle and John Stuart Mill observed, the private sphere sets limits, both normative and empirical, to the rights, powers, and obligations of others. The myriad forms of undue invasion of the private sphere - such as rape, burglary, or eavesdropping - are all crimes. Even the state - this monopolist of legal violence - respects these boundaries. When it fails to honor the distinction between public and private - when it is authoritarian or totalitarian - it loses its legitimacy.
Alas, this vital separation of realms is eroding fast.
In theory, private life is insulated and shielded from social pressures, the ambit of norms and laws, and even the strictures of public morality. Reality, though, is different. The encroachment of the public is inexorable and, probably, irreversible. The individual is forced to share, consent to, or merely obey a panoply of laws, norms, and regulations not only in his or her relationships with others - but also when solitary.
Failure to comply - and to be seen to be conforming - leads to dire consequences. In a morbid twist, public morality is now synonymous with social orthodoxy, political authority, and the exercise of police powers. The quiddity, remit, and attendant rights of the private sphere are now determined publicly, by the state.
In the modern world , privacy - the freedom to withhold or divulge information - and autonomy - the liberty to act in certain ways when not in public - are illusory in that their scope and essence are ever-shifting, reversible, and culture-dependent. They both are perceived as public concessions - not as the inalienable (though, perhaps, as Judith Jarvis Thomson observes, derivative) rights that they are.
The trend from non-intrusiveness to wholesale invasiveness is clear:
Only two hundred years ago, the legal regulation of economic relations between consenting adults - a quintessentially private matter - would have been unthinkable and bitterly resisted. Only a century ago, no bureaucrat would have dared intervene in domestic affairs. A Man's home was, indeed, his castle.
Nowadays, the right - let alone dwindling technological ability - to maintain a private sphere is multiply contested and challenged. Feminists, such as Catharine MacKinnon, regard it as a patriarchal stratagem to perpetuate abusive male domination. Conservatives blame it for mounting crime and terrorism. Sociologists - and the Church - worry about social atomization and alienation.
Consequently, today, both one's business and one's family are open books to the authorities, the media, community groups, non-governmental organizations, and assorted busybodies.
Which leads us back to privacy, the topic of this essay. It is often confused with autonomy. The private sphere comprises both. Yet, the former has little to do with the latter . Even the acute minds of the Supreme Court of the United States keep getting it wrong.
In 1890, Justice Louise Brandeis (writing with Samuel Warren) correctly summed up privacy rights as "the right to be left alone" - that is, the right to control information about oneself.
But, nearly a century later, in 1973, in the celebrated case of Roe vs. Wade, the U.S. Supreme Court, mixing up privacy and autonomy, found some state regulation of abortion to be in violation of a woman's constitutional right of privacy, implicit in the liberty guarantee of the Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment.
But if unrelated to autonomy - what is privacy all about?
As Julie Inness and many others note, privacy - the exclusive access to information - is tightly linked to intimacy. The more intimate the act - excretion, ill-health, and sex come to mind - the more closely we safeguard its secrets. By keeping back such data, we show consideration for the sensitivities of other people and we enhance our own uniqueness and the special nature of our close relationships.
Privacy is also inextricably linked to personal safety. Withholding information makes us less vulnerable to abuse and exploitation. Our privileged access to some data guarantees our wellbeing, longevity, status, future, and the welfare of our family and community. Just consider the consequences of giving potentially unscrupulous others access to our bank accounts, credit card numbers, PIN codes, medical records, industrial and military secrets, or investment portfolios.
Last, but by no way least, the successful defense of one's privacy sustains one's self-esteem - or what Brandeis and Warren called "inviolate personality". The invasion of privacy provokes an upwelling of shame and indignation and feelings of indignity, violation, helplessness, a diminished sense of self-worth, and the triggering of a host of primitive defense mechanisms. Intrusion upon one's private sphere is, as Edward J. Bloustein observes, traumatic.
Incredibly, modern technology has conspired to do just that. Reality TV shows, caller ID, electronic monitoring, computer viruses (especially worms and Trojans), elaborate databases, marketing profiles, Global Positioning System (GPS)-enabled cell phones, wireless networks, smart cards - are all intrusive and counter-privacy.
Add social policies and trends to the mixture - police profiling, mandatory drug-testing, workplace keylogging, the nanny (welfare) state, traffic surveillance, biometric screening, electronic bracelets - and the long-heralded demise of privacy is no longer mere scaremongering.
As privacy fades - so do intimacy, personal safety, and self-esteem (mental health) and with them social cohesion. The ills of anomic modernity - alienation, violence, and crime, to mention but three - are, therefore, directly attributable to diminishing privacy. This is the irony: that privacy is increasingly breached in the name of added security (counter-terrorism or crime busting). We seem to be undermining our societies in order to make them safer.
This article was written by Dr. Sam Vaknin, PhD.. His material is copyrighted. Free, unrestricted use is allowed on a non commercial basis. The author's name and a link to THIS LINK must be incorporated in any reproduction of the material for any use and by any means.
I always believe that it is the quality of friendships that matter and not the number of friend that one may have.Through the decades, I have had a few good friends who have remained with me through thick and thin; namely Philip, Marcel, Sandy and a few others. This afternoon, I want to do a tribute to my old buddy Philip whom I have known since 1977 - yes, 32 years of friendship.
It was way back in 1977 when a mutual friend introduced us because of our love for singing. Philip, aka Voice of Thunder because of his loud booming voice, and I did not really get to know each other until I entered university where I would organize, direct and choreograph musical presentations. With his booming baritone voice, Philip was definitely an asset as his one voice alone was akin to four male voices. We collaborated in many musicals namely Make it Clear (1979), Sonlife (1980), Pursuit (1981), The Greatest Gift (1983), Sonshine (1984)and The Dreamer (1987). In fact, we sang solo at each other's wedding and last year, he sang my favorite song "MOON RIVER" at my 25th wedding anniversary. After that, the only time we sang together was during jamming sessions with the others for we were caught up with other activities such as snorkeling/diving, bowling, holidays, drama productions and so on.
Due to our mutual love for movies, music (as seen in our passion for The Beatles and music from the 1960s to 1980s, guitars, karaoke), a variety of literature (including our mutual love for Marvel, DC, Beano, Dandy etc comics), food and many other areas, we have sustained and strengthened our friendship for over three decades now.
As one grows older, topics of discussion change accordingly. Whereas in the past we would be griping over lecturers or courses to pursue or not to pursue, discussions were steered in the direction of work issues and then now that we are more mature, nothing delights us more than the usual debate over the political scenario in Malaysia.
Philip and I have shared some of the most hilarious moments in various situations.
In 1988, a whole group of us went diving at Pulau Payar. I was footloose and carefree without my boys then. We had chartered a huge boat and I was the official cook for the group of us that numbered 20 or so. It was no joke cooking on a fishing boat with spartan conditions and backward sanitary facilities. Nonetheless, the group did not complain about my culinary abilities or lack of it for the three days and two nights that we were there.
Back in those days, I had not made my contact lenses and it was quite a challenge to dive or to snorkel. I recall one episode where I thought I was being tailed by a shark. I raised the alarm and my flippers moved at turbo speed as we all raced back to the boat. Much later, I was scolded by the others when one of them turned back and took a good look at the marine creature swimming behind us - a huge garoupa.
The most memorable incident was when we were asleep on the upper deck, each beside our spouses in two rows. In the still of the night, our voices reverberated through the cool breeze. Philip's wife listened to our conversation for some time before she finally realized that we were not talking to each other, but talking in our sleep!
On another occasion, we went to Pulau Pangkor in two separate cars. I was driving with my better half as a navigator while Philip and his wife were in the back seat. Out of the blue, he screamed into my ear "TURN LEFT". His booming voice resonated so loudly that I panicked and tried to turn but my car spun out of control, went on TWO WHEELS in Evil Kneivel style and came to screeching halt at the edge of a canal by the side of the road. Silence. All of us were in a state of shock. Upon close inspection of the car, I discovered that my exhaust pipe had fallen off due to the impact of the swing. Not one to be put down by such circumstances, we managed to fix it in a very basic manner and drove at snail's pace before we managed to find a mechanic in a nearby village who fixed it for me for 5RM!!
While at Pulau Pangkor, the whole gang decided to cycle round the island. The romantic sentimental idiot in me asked for a tandem bicycle for my husband and me while the others had a field day selecting the biggest mountain bikes in the bike rental shop. When we were all ready to cycle on our merry way, I realized that the song "Daisy Daisy" was nothing but a silly romantic song...Daisy Daisy,
Believe me, a tandem bicycle built for two is NOT meant for cycling long distance. Just round the corner, hubby and I fell down while making a turn. Most regretfully, we headed back to the shop and ended up with two mini bikes...the others made one push while we had to do two.
Give me your answer do!
I'm half crazy,
All for the love of you!
It won't be a stylish marriage,
I can't afford a carriage,
But you'll look sweet on the seat
On a bicycle built for two !
While going up one of the slopes after Emerald Bay, we were huffing and puffing away as we pushed our bikes. "Pffffffffffffffffffffftttt!!! Fffffft! Ffffft!!!!!! Fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffftttt!!!
Yup! Philip, who was right in front of me, farted right in my face!
Holy smoke indeed! Quickly, I pushed my bike as fast as I could, almost gassed to death!!!
Another time in the 1990's when Marcel came back, we all headed to Inira's Banana Leaf Restaurant. Philip ate five rounds of the banana leaf rice. I am not joking. While at Langkawi on another trip, he also ate five rounds for the buffet breakfast!!!
Ten years down the road, we cannot eat as much any more. But we know that we have seen each other through good times and bad times. We still talk as exuberantly and sing as loudly. Karaoke moments are not the same without Philip gyrating his hips Elvis style doing Jailhouse Rock and Blue Suede Shoes. It is really wonderful to grow old together as friends and to see how our hairlines are receding almost in synchrony. We were there for each other's wedding, the death of his mom, when we were hospitalised for different reasons and so many other memorable moments.
We may not be spending as much time with each other...sometimes not seeing each other for months without even a phone call or a text message. Nonetheless, because of ties that bind, we can just pick up from where we left off the next time we meet - that is the beauty of true friendship. My husband and I are certainly glad that we have Philip to make our lives more colorful, chats noisier, karaoke sessions livelier and moments shared together will always be a very special part of our lives.
Hey, pal - thanks for being a friend after all these years!!! This tribute is long overdue and solely for you.
