Once upon a time, a wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action.
The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, “You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. In fact, I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I’ll give you each a dollar if you’ll promise to come around every day and do your thing.”
The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trashcans.
After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but this time he had a sad smile on his face. “This recession’s really putting a big dent in my income,” he told them. “From now on, I’ll only be able to pay you 50 cents to beat on the cans.”
The noisemakers were obviously displeased, but they accepted his offer and continued their afternoon ruckus. A few days later, the wily retiree approached them again as they drummed their way down the street.
“Look,” he said, “I haven’t received my Social Security check yet, so I’m not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that be okay?”
“A freakin’ quarter?” the drum leader exclaimed. “If you think we’re going to waste our time, beating these cans around for a quarter, you’re nuts! No way, dude. We quit!” And the old man enjoyed peace and serenity for the rest of his days.
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Why did the zombie baby cross the road?
To wreak an unholy vengeance upon the driver of the car who’s standing there, scratching his head, trying to figure out how a zombie baby’s head can be beneath his car tires but the rest of the body is nowhere to be seen– unless he were to turn around and notice the zombie baby body bearing down on him, coming ever closer, ready with grasping, pudgy zombie baby fingers to tear and rend at the flesh of this self-same driver who ran his head over, on the dark and rain-swept road that snakes down from the castle of the madman who’s creating an army of zombie babies to do his dark, libidinal bidding.
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Confused Child in Wedding Party
A little boy was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride’s side and groom’s side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, “ROAR,” step, step, “ROAR,” all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit.
The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit.
When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear."
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A lady and her baby…
A lady and her baby get on a bus. The bus driver looks at the lady, and then her baby, and then screams, “AHHHH! That’s the ugliest child I’ve ever seen in my life!”
The lady then, totally disgusted, marches up to the back of the bus to sit down.
As she was sitting there absolutely furious, a man asks, “Are you ok, dear?”
The lady replies, “I’m so angry, that bus driver just insulted me.”
The man says, “You go back up there and give that bus driver a piece of your mind, and I’ll watch your monkey.”
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Feet First
One day little Danny was in Sunday School, and the preacher asked what part of the body went to heaven first.
Susie said your heart, ’cause you need it to love.
Richie said your head, ’cause you need it to think.
Little Danny raised his hand and the pastor called on him reluctantly. Danny said, “Your feet.”
Confused, the pastor asked why.
Danny replied, “I was walking past my mom’s room last night and she had her feet in the air and then she screamed, “Oh God, I’m coming!”
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There was a young girl who loved to wear dresses everyday to school.
One day a boy asked her to climb the flag pole for a box of cookies.
She climbed the pole and all the boys in the schoolyard could clearly see her underpants.
When she got home she bragged to her mother that she got a box of cookies for climbing a flag pole. The mother knew that the kids just wanted to see her underpants so she told the girl not to climb the pole again.
Of course the little girl didn’t believe her mom and the next day the boy asked her to climb the pole for a box of candy. She did and they all saw her underpants and laughed.
When she went home she told her mother the news. Her mother was angry. She told the girl she shouldn’t climb the pole. She told her, “They just want to see your underpants and if you climb the pole again your grounded!”
The next day the same boy asked her to climb the pole for more goodies, so up the pole she went.
When she came home she told her mother what she got for climbing the pole and her mother went ape. “I told you they only wanted to see your underpants!” she raged.
“But mommy”, the little girl answered, “this time I was smart enough not to wear any.”
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Test Tube Baby
Q: What did the normal baby say to the test-tube baby?
A: Your dad’s a wanker.
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Pillar Of The Community
What kind of pillar can’t hold up a building?
A caterpillar!
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Turtle Soup
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order.
“I’d like to get the turtle soup, please.” The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead.
“Hold the turtle, make it pea!”
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That Darn Cat
There was this cat who loved to get drunk, who went to the bar on the other side of the tracks.
He stayed all night long and got so wasted he could barely stand up, much less walk.
The cat starts to stumble on home. As the cat comes to the train tracks, he doesn’t notice a train coming down the tracks.
As he started to cross the tracks, the train zoomed by, and cut off his tail. The cat turned it’s head to see the damage, got his head stuck into the side of a speeding box car, and is instantly decapitated.
The moral of the story — don’t lose your head over a piece of tail!
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Ford HippoVan
How do you get a hippopotamus in a mini-van?
Kick one of the elephants out.
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Fly vs. Mosquito
What is the difference between a mosquito and a fly?
A fly can fly but a mosquito cannot mosquito.
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Have a nice day and keep that smile on your face! :-)
A baby boomer is a person who was born during the demographic Post-World War II baby boom. People born before 1946 were called The Silent generation. The term "baby boomer" is sometimes used in a cultural context, and sometimes used to describe someone who was born during the post-WWII baby boom. It is impossible to achieve broad consensus of a precise definition, even within a given territory. Different groups, organizations, individuals, and scholars may have widely varying opinions on what constitutes a baby boomer, both technically and culturally. Ascribing universal attributes to a broad generation is difficult, and some observers believe that it is inherently impossible. Nonetheless, many people have attempted to determine the broad cultural similarities and historical impact of the generation, and thus the term has gained widespread popular usage.
In general, baby boomers are associated with a rejection or redefinition of traditional values; however, many commentators have disputed the extent of that rejection, noting the widespread continuity of values with older and younger generations. In Europe and North America boomers are widely associated with privilege, as many grew up in a time of affluence. As a group, they were the healthiest, and wealthiest generation to that time, and amongst the first to grow up genuinely expecting the world to improve with time.
One of the unique features of Boomers was that they tended to think of themselves as a special generation, very different from those that had come before. In the 1960s, as the relatively large numbers of young people became teenagers and young adults, they, and those around them, created a very specific rhetoric around their cohort, and the change they were bringing about. This rhetoric had an important impact in the self perceptions of the boomers, as well as their tendency to define the world in terms of generations, which was a relatively new phenomenon.
GENERATION X
Generation X, commonly abbreviated to Gen X, is the generation born after the baby boom ended, with earliest birth dates seen used by researchers ranging from 1961 to the latest 1981. The term Generation X has been used in demography, the social sciences, and marketing, though it is most often used in popular culture.
In the U.S. Generation X was originally referred to as the "baby bust" generation because of the drop in the birth rate following the baby boom.
In the UK the term was first used in a 1964 study of British youth by Jane Deverson. Deverson was asked by Woman's Own magazine to interview teenagers of the time. The study revealed a generation of teenagers who "sleep together before they are married, were not taught to believe in God as 'much', dislike the Queen, and don't respect parents," these controversial findings meant that the piece was deemed unsuitable for the magazine. Deverson, in an attempt to save her research, worked with Hollywood correspondent Charles Hamblett to create a book about the study. Hamblett decided to name it Generation X.
The term was popularized by Canadian author Douglas Coupland’s 1991 novel, Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated Culture, concerning young adults during the late 1980s. While Coupland's book helped to popularize the phrase “Generation X,” in a 1989 magazine article[13] he erroneously attributed the term to Billy Idol. In fact, Idol had been a member of the punk band Generation X from 1976-1981, which was named after Deverson and Hamblett's 1965 sociology book—a copy of which was owned by Idol's mother.
Generation Y
Generation Y, also known as the Millennial Generation or Generation Next or Net Generation, describes the demographic cohort following Generation X. Its members are often referred to as Millennials or Echo Boomers. As there are no precise dates for when the Millennial generation starts and ends, commentators have used birth dates ranging somewhere from the mid 1970s to the late 1990s. This generation generally represents an increase in births from the 1960s and 70s, not because of a significant increase in birthrates, but because the large cohort of baby boomers began to have children. The 20th century trend toward smaller families in the West continued, however, so the relative impact of the "baby boom echo" was generally less pronounced than the original boom.
Characteristics of the generation vary by region, depending on social and economic conditions. However, it is generally marked by an increased use and familiarity with communications, media, and digital technologies. In most parts of the world its upbringing was marked by an increasingly neo-liberal or market oriented approach to the politics and economics.The effects of this environment are disputed.
Why do we call the last group Generation Y? Recently a cartoonist explained it very eloquently below... lease do not be offended ok? I just added this to bring a smile to your face on a lovely Friday morning!
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Have a nice day and keep that smile on your face! Cheers!
