It is Boxing Day today and some may still be in a festive mood or suffering from a hangover from partying too much. Here is a delightful selection of jokes to brighten your Boxing Day. Smile a lot and stay happy always. Have a lovely Boxing Day today!
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Christmas Breakfast
This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his home town for the holidays. After looking over the menu he says, ''I'll just have the eggs Benedict.'' His order comes a while later and it's served on a big, shiny hubcap. He asks the waiter, ''What's with the hubcap?'' The waiter sings, ''O, there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!''
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Specially for Cat-in-Sydney
Cats' Top Ten Favorite Christmas Songs
10. Up on the Mousetrap
9. Have Yourself a Furry Little Christmas
8. Joy to the Curled
7. I Saw Mommy Hiss at Santa Claus
6. The First Meow
5. Oh, Come All Ye Fishful
4. Silent Mice
3. Fluffy, The Snowman
2. Jingle Balls
1. Wreck the Halls!
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15 reasons why Santa is a woman
15. Santa *remembers* it's Christmas. 'Nuf said.
14. Reads children's letters in office instead of in bathroom.
13. Never explains what exactly you did to deserve that coal in your stocking -- if you have to ask, maybe that's the problem!
12. Employs little people in a sweatshop and co-hosts TV talk show, "Regis and Santa Lee."
11. Despite the closet full of red coats with big black belts, *still* insists she has nothing to wear on Christmas Eve.
10. "Mrs. Claus" wears work boots, has a crew cut, and drives a '68 El Camino.
9. A man simply would not care if you were naughty or nice.
8. Actually seems to shake like TWO bowls full of jelly.
7. Bowl full of jelly, my ass. It's water retention.
6. Constantly whining about equality until it's time to clean out the reindeer stalls.
5. Matching shoes and belt? Only a woman would accessorize a pantsuit like that!
4. No guy would ever name his animals Dancer and Prancer.
3. Santa never, ever observed peeing off of rooftops.
2. The North Pole Blockbuster's been out of "The Horse Whisperer" for weeks.
1. With the way they build chimneys these days you'd *have* to be a waifish super model just to get in!
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One for the ladies and kids, maybe husbands too???
CHRISTMAS FRUITCAKE RECIPE
Items Needed:
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4 Oz. Fruit Bits
1 Railroad Tie
Wood Saw
Large Rubber Mallot
Safety Goggles
WEAR YOUR SAFETY GOGGLES. (Children: Get help from an adult!) Cut a one-foot section from the middle of your railroad tie. The resulting block of wood should be the size and shape of a loaf of bread.
Then, take some fruit bits and pound them into the block with your rubber mallot. Spread the colors around, or you might wind up with an ugly fruitcake. Don't be afraid to throw some elbow grease into that mallot! Good fruit bits should be much harder than the railroad tie, so you can't break anything.
For best result, you should pre-treat the fruit bits by setting them on top of your garage for a year (or by microwaving them on HIGH for 30 minutes).
Finally, cover it tightly in platic wrap, and give your loved ones the timeless and enduring gift of fruitcake!
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Have a lovely day!
Today is Boxing Day which falls on the 26th December - the day after Christmas Day. In the UK, this day is celebrated by watching (or playing) a little festive sport. If Christmas Day is for the family, then Boxing Day is when the men go out and watch the big local derby football game.
Canada, Australia, and New Zealand also celebrate Boxing Day is big. Could it be that the idea of Boxing Day is spreading to the USA? Usually it's the other way around we English import American concepts like Santa (Father Christmas).
Boxing Day history goes back at least to Medieval times in Britain. Christmas is a day for celebrating Christ's nativity. Then, Boxing Day or St Stephen's Day was the time for giving and receiving gifts. For the ordinary country working man, a Boxing Day present from the lord of the manor was particularly welcome. Incidentally, the 26th of December is also known as St Stephen's Day.Boxing Day Jokes
The origin of Boxing Day has nothing to with the art of pugilism, and everything to do with 'Christmas Box'. The idea started with a clay box used in artisan workshops. Apprentices, their masters, and their customers, would put gratuities into the box, which acted like a 'piggy bank'. Then on the day after celebrating Christmas, the box would be ceremonial smashed and the money shared among the workers.
Thus the origin of Boxing Day was all to do with a Christmas present or bonus. The phrase 'Christmas box' lives on as gift householders give to postmen, paperboys and dustbin [garbage collectors] that visit their home. It is NOT a time to punch your siblings or spouse or friends :-) although many do so in jest.
Nowadays people open their presents on Christmas Day so Boxing Day traditions involve visiting members of the wider family circle on 26th December. One by-product is having two Christmas meals in two days. By then, many are unsure if turkey is more
tasty hot on Christmas Day, or cold with mashed potato and pickle on Boxing Day.
In the UK and Ireland Boxing Day is a associated with fox hunting. Horse riders dressed in red and white riding gear, assisted by a pack of foxhounds, chase foxes through the countryside in the hope of running them to earth and killing them.
Townies think this barbaric and in 2004 British MPs voted to ban hunting foxes with dogs. This proved a particularly tough law to enforce, given that the majority of country people actively or passively supported fox hunting. Rightly, catching foxhunters was never going to be a police priority, and the foxhunters shrugged off their "hooray Henry" images when it cam to fighting case in court.
St Stephen's Day is always celebrated on 26th of December, however, Boxing Day, as in the public holiday, is celebrated on Monday 27th December whenever the 26th falls on a Sunday. The public holiday situation is even more complicated when Christmas Day falls on a Saturday, in these years Monday 27th and Tuesday 28th are public holidays to make up for the festivities falling at the weekend. As time goes on, this seems less of a problem has people have a Christmas week or even a Christmas fortnight of holidays.
This post was taken from THIS LINK.
Happy Boxing Day! Swing by later for some Boxing Day jokes which will be put up at 1.45p.m. Have a nice day!
