The situation in our country reminds us of one startling fact - there are idiots everywhere especially you-know-where!!!Obviously, I am unable to criticize you-know-who over you-know-what lest I end up in you-know-where so this is the best that I can do to DESTRESS. :-) Have a good laugh and try to make sense of the nonsense we see around us!!!
_________________________________________________
IDIOTS AT WORK...
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.
ADVICE FOR IDIOTS...
An actual tip from page 16 of the HP "Environmental, Health & Safety Handbook for Employees: "Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes."
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD...
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE...
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce. "He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
IDIOTS IN THE NEWS...
Buffalo Channel 4 News on October 20th,1999 informed its captivated audience that when selling their computer, the best way to erase the files on your computers hard drive is by drilling a hole in the drive its self! "By drilling a hole in the drive its self, you make it impossible for the new owner to get your files." No kidding, idiot!
IDIOT SIGHTINGS...
Sighting #1: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know? "He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."
Sighting #2: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red. She responded, appalled, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"
Sighting #3: At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager spoke up and said, "This is fun. We should have lunch like this more often." Not another word was spoken. We just looked at each other like deer staring into the headlights of an approaching truck.
Sighting #4: I worked with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her could not understand why her system would not turn on.
Sighting #5: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger's side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open." Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" "I know," answered the young man.- "I already got that side."
Sighting #6: I work in a hospital and one day the doctor and I were asking a pregnant lady some questions upon admission to the maternity ward. When we asked her who we should call in case of an emergency, she stated "911".
Sighting #7: My daughter was going over to the neighbors house to visit but didn't want to miss a call from her boyfriend so she took the cordless phone with her. While at the neighbors she wanted to check back at home to see if her younger brother was okay. My daughter then picked up the neighbors phone and dialed our number. While waiting for someone to answer the phone at home, the phone she brought over with her began to ring. She immediately hung up the neighbors phone and answered our phone. There was no one there. She wanted to know who it was who called so she used our phone to call our house. The line was busy. Getting very frustrated she left the neighbors to go home and see who was on the phone. No one was on the phone. My daughter could not figure out what was going on until someone explained it to her.
Sighting #8: As systems manager of an answering service a few years back I had the pleasure of working with an especially ignorant doctor. Our system was trying to fax her messages to her place of business when a message came back informing us her fax was out of paper. When I called her office and told her about this she replied, "Oh, I'm all out of bond paper. Could you fax me some?" I'm right on it, Babe.
Sighting #9: I was in McDonalds one time when the lady in front of me ordered a cheeseburger and requested no cheese. Now I don't know about you but that sounds like a hamburger to me.
Sighting #10: Many years ago I worked in a delicatessen. The assistant manager had burnt something in the oven and smoke was pouring from the kitchen area. When the store manager came by and asked why she hadn't opened the emergency fire exit door to allow the smoke to go outside she said, "I thought about it but I couldn't find the key!"
Sighting #11: I was sitting at my University bar with some friends the other day when we overheard a man talking on his mobile phone. He was saying that he wanted to "buy, buy, buy" some shares and "sell, sell, sell" some shares. Unfortunately for him, his mobile phone actually began to ring!!! The laughter in the bar was heard for miles!! Now that's what I call an IDIOT!
Sighting #12: A friend of mine and I were on a little road trip with his wife driving. Everything was pretty quiet when she turned to us and asked, "If you are driving 70mph, about how far would you go in an hour?" Oh yeah, she's a smart one.
Sighting #13: Calling the telecommunication company to inform them my phone didn't work and that when I picked up the receiver its completely dead, the technician said from the other end "Are you calling from the number of the phone that does not work?"
_______________________________________
Do leave a comment if you wish. Feel free to add to the list. Thanks! Have a lovely evening!
As a mother of two boys, my heart goes out to the loved ones of Teoh Beng Hock, particularly his longtime sweetheart Soh Chor Wei on the day he was supposed to be married on July 17th last year. Malaysian Insider HERE reported about the imminent birth of their baby.
I cannot imagine how life must have been like for Cher Wei during the past six months of her journey to motherhood. I am not going to blog about the possible emotions and trauma she must have gone through because no matter what, we will never be able to imagine the magnitude of her grief, pain, anguish and the saddening journey to motherhood she must be going through.
For those of you who have never gone through the journey to motherhood, please go to THIS LINK and imagine that lonely road Cher Wei travelled and how the foetus developed without hearing the sound of his father's voice reverberating through his mom's stomach.
The last stage of pregnancy is the most difficult. Tears are in my eyes as I type this. I pray TBH's spirit and soul is with Cher Wei as she prepares herself to bring to this world the legacy TBH left behind - his son. I hope that she will have a safe delivery and that TBH will be there with her, holding her hand, enveloping her with his presence and his love and letting her know somehow that he is there with her as she goes through labour pain.
And when the cries of the new born babe are heard in the delivery room, I pray his voice will be like that of TBH. May the baby have his face to remind his dad's perpetrators that they took away his dad's life but he will live to be a wonderful man and uphold the principles that his dad held to honor integrity, honesty and dignity and not to be cowered by intimidation.
When Cher Wei holds the babe in her arms, may she be reminded of the depth of love Teoh Beng Hock had for her....the wonderful times they shared and the unforgettable moments which will always be her source of strength in moments of weakness.
And when she holds him in her arms may she say, "Your father is not here but HE IS A HERO. Remember he died that freedom and truth may live in Malaysia. Grow well, my son, for you are all I have of your dad."
As she prepares herself to walk that lonely road of single motherhood, may people who come into contact with her NOT JUDGE HER OR HER SON. May genuine compassion be in their hearts and eyes and may they may moved to extend to Cher Wei and her son, whatever help they need.
Malaysian Insider reported:
The matter of “Baby Teoh” bearing the father’s name on the birth certificate, however, is still undetermined.
Laws in Malaysia require proof that both parents are married or in a case where a child is born out of wedlock, the father must be physically present, in order for the birth certificate issued to carry the father’s name.
While Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak is reported to have personally assured the Teohs and Soh and directed the Attorney-General to help the family last year, it is not the policy of the National Registration Department to register the father’s name for a baby born out of wedlock.
Any delay in giving this innocent baby a birth certificate that bears his parents' names will only prolong Cher Wei's agony and inflame the already heated sentiments of the rakyat with regards to TBH's tragic demise. May sense and sensibility, love and compassion be in the hearts of the authorities concerned and may they give this child what he rightly deserves. As it is, he has been cruelly robbed of his father and will have to live with that for the rest of his life.
May TBH's spirit and soul rest in peace and may justice prevail in his court case. May the Almighty continue to bless TBH's family, Cher Wei and their precious son to be born soon in Johore.
Whenever a man has something to say, you can be sure a woman always has to have her say in the end. There have been times in my life where I end up laughing halfway during an argument and then all's well that ends well...Here's a selection of hypothetical exchanges between a man and his woman which might ring familiar to you :-). Have a good laugh and cherish those moments with your wife or loved ones.
________________________________________________________
He said... Want a quickie?
She said... As opposed to what?
He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said... You wear briefs, don't you?
He said... Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune?
She said... Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money.
He said... This coffee isn't fit for a pig!
She said... No problem, I'll get you some that is.
She said... What do you mean by coming home half drunk?
He said... It's not my fault...I ran out of money.
He said... Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way.
She said... Well, you succeeded.
Priest... I don't think you will ever find another man like your late husband.
She said... Who's gonna look?
He said... You have a flat chest and need to shave your legs, have you ever been mistaken for a man?
She said... No, have you?
He said... Why do you women always try to impress us with your looks, not with your brains?
She said... Because there is a bigger chance that a man is a moron than he is blind.
He said... Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
She said... Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
He said... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said... I would, but you're never there.
He said... Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly.
She said... Well, you succeeded.
He said... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said... That's a good idea... You stand by the ironing board, while I sit on the sofa and fart.
He said... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said... Turn sideways and look in the mirror you fat soul.
_____________________________________
Do leave a comment if you wish. I would love to hear from you. Enjoy the weekend and may the Almighty keep you and yours safe and sound.
