Here's a list of quotable quotes which I hope you will enjoy. Some are funny, some are full of wisdom and some are just too close to home. Take care and have a lovely evening! I am taking a break from sopo blogging till tomorrow. Swing by again then. Do leave a comment to share your thoughts. Thanks!
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“The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good ... spit it out.“
“I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: ‘No good in a bed, but fine up against a wall’ ". Eleanor Roosevelt
“The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning, and a good ending; and have the two as close together as possible.” George Burns
“Santa Claus has the right idea ... visit people only once a year.” Victor Borge
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” Mark Twain
“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.” Mark Twain
“My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.” Les Dawson
“By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher" Socrates
“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” Groucho Marx
“My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.” Jimmy Durante
“The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things.” Jilly Cooper
“I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.” “I was always a good housekeeper. Whenever I divorced I always kept the house.”
Zsa Zsa Gabor
“Only Irish coffee provides, in a single glass, all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.” Alex Levine
“My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.” Ed Furgol
“Money can't buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.” Spike Milligan
“I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.”
Mark Twain
“Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.” Herbert Henry Asquith
“I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.” Bob Hope
“A woman drove me to drink ... and I hadn't even the courtesy to thank her.” W C Fields
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth, or the fourteenth.” George Burns
“We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.” Unknown
“Don't worry about avoiding temptation... As you grow older, it will avoid you.” Unknown
Doctor to patient: “I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.” Unknown
“By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.”
Unknown
Some interesting and revealing incidents from the life of Albert Einstein, who was recently honored by Time magazine as the Man of the Century.
One day during a speaking tour, Albert Einstein's driver, who often sat at the back of the hall during his lectures, remarked that he could probably give the lecture himself, having heard it so many times. Sure enough, at the next stop on the tour, Einstein and the driver switched places, with Einstein sitting at the back in his driver's uniform.
Having delivered a flawless lecture, the driver was asked a difficult question by a member of the audience. "Well, the answer to that question is quite simple," he casually replied. "I bet my driver, sitting up at the back there, could answer it!"
Albert Einstein's wife often suggested that he dress more professionally when he headed off to work. "Why should I?" he would invariably argue. "Everyone knows me there." When the time came for Einstein to attend his first major conference, she begged him to dress up a bit. "Why should I?" said Einstein. "No one knows me there!"
Albert Einstein was often asked to explain the general theory of relativity. "Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour," he once declared. "Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity!"
When Albert Einstein was working in Princeton university, one day he was going back home he forgot his home address. The driver of the cab did not recognise him. Einstein asked the driver if he knows Einstein's home. The driver said "Who does not know Einstein's address? Everyone in Princeton knows.Do you want to meet him?. Einstein replied "I am Einstein. I forgot my home address, can you take me there? "The driver reached him to his home and did not even collect his fare from him.
Einstein was once traveling from Princeton on a train when the conductor came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger. When he came to Einstein, Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He couldn't find his ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets. It wasn't there, so he looked in his briefcase but couldn't find it. Then he looked in the seat beside him. He still couldn't find it.
The conductor said, 'Dr. Einstein, I know who you are. We all know who you are. I'm sure you bought a ticket. Don't worry about it.'
Einstein nodded appreciatively. The conductor continued down the aisle punching tickets. As he was ready to move to the next car, he turned around and saw the great physicist down on his hands and knees looking under his seat for his ticket.
The conductor rushed back and said, 'Dr. Einstein, Dr. Einstein, don't worry, I know who you are. No problem. You don't need a ticket. I'm sure you bought one.'
Einstein looked at him and said, 'Young man, I too, know who I am. What I don't know is where I'm going.'
Thanks to Angela who sent this to me via email. Have a lovely day everyone!
When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country.
But, it too, seemed immovable.
As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it.
And now as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realize: If I had only changed my self first, then by example I would have changed my family.
From their inspiration and encouragement, I would then have been able to better my country and, who knows, I may have even changed the world.
Words written on the tomb of an Anglican Bishop, Westminster Abbey London
