masterwordsmith-unplugged

1) Funny Valentine Quotes

'I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.'
Dorothy Parker.

'Women are cursed, and men are the proof.'
Rosanne Barr.

'Women with pasts interest men... they hope history will repeat itself.'
Mae West.

'Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.'
Mickey Rooney.

'I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell my children that, they just about throw up.'
Barbara Bush.

'My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.'
Rita Rudner.

'The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.'
Ann Landers.

'Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.'
Groucho Marx.

Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults.
Thomas Szasz

2) Romantic Valentine Love Quotes

If you are in love and wish to make up your own Valentine's Day quotes either use these or else modify them for your own true love.

The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed.
J. Krishnamurti

All you need is love.
John Lennon

One makes mistakes; that is life. But it is never a mistake to have loved.
Romain Rolland

Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.
Lynda Barry

Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.
Thomas Robert Dewar

A heart that loves is always young.
Greek Proverb

But I have seen thee
And thou art enough.
G. Moore

Your words are my food, your breath my wine. You are everything to me.
Sarah Bernhardt

Friendship is one mind in two bodies.
Mencius

If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Winnie the Pooh

3) Ten Valentine Quotes

1. There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved.
   George Sand
2. Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, falling in love with you was beyond my control
3. Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.
   Aristotle
4. The heart has its reasons that reason does not know.
   Pascal
5. The risk it takes to remain tight inside the bud is more painful than the risk it takes to blossom.
   Anais Nin
6. You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.
   Barbara DeAngelis
7. Love, like a river, will cut a new path Whenever it meets an obstacle.
   Crystal Middlemas
8. Greater Love has no man than this: that a man lay down his life for his friends.
   Jesus
9. The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.
   Eden Ahbez
10. It's not that I can't live without you...it's just that I don't even want to try.

4) Extra Valentine Quotes and One-liners

It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.'
Alfred, Lord Tennyson

True love begins when nothing is looked for in return.
Antoine De Saint-Exupery

Love, you know, seeks to make happy rather than to be happy.
Ralph Connor

True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
Charles Caleb Colton

We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.
Tim McGraw

Hold a true friend with both your hands.
Nigerian Proverb

My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.
Lee Iacocca

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
Anon

Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say.
Anon

If you walk in front of me, I may not follow.
If you walk behind me, I may not lead.
If you walk beside me, I will be your friend. Albert Camus

5) More Good Advice - Valentine Quotations

• When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
  Mark Twain
• Because when we love, we always strive to become better than we are.
  Paulo Coelho in The Alchemist
• A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; A woman loses hers after four. kisses.
  H.L. Mencken
• Don't wait for the one you can live with, wait for the one you can't live without.
• Love is like a river, always changing, but always finding you again somewhere down the road.
  Kelly Elaine
• One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.
  Sophocles

6) Another Tranche of Lovely Valentine's Day Quotes

• I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. David Bissonnette
• I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. Henry Youngman
• It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week. Laurence J. Peter
• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Anonymous
• If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question? Lily Tomlin
• Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock. John Barrymore
• A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point. That's basic spelling that every woman ought to know. Mistinguette
• Absence: that common cure of love. Miguel De Cervantes