masterwordsmith-unplugged

Ever wonder ...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

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Male or female?

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

* FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

* PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.

* TYRES: Tyres are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.

* HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their arse.

* SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

* WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

* TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

* EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

* HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

* THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: it easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.