masterwordsmith-unplugged

When I started my career as a student in the late 1960's, life was not a beach for me. During my Year one days, I discovered to my horror that my classmates were mostly brain boxes and since I was the only child in the family, mom wanted me to be at the top and it was an extremely competitive environment. Today, of my Year 1 classmates, one became a professor at Harvard university, another one also did the same in a top university in Australia, then there are in total three gynaecologists, a few accountants, one optometrist, a few teachers, stockbrokers and businesswomen while a significant number gave up their careers to be full-time mothers.

Can you imagine how I felt then? Well, have you ever sat or stood in front of a certain person in whose presence you feel less good and less intelligent? It did not make it any easier when I was selected to skip Year 4 to go to Year 5. Believe me. The stress was terrible and the competition extremely keen not forgetting the pressure that mom put on me. Therefore, when my older boy qualified for the PTS exam and was selected to skip a year from Year 3 to Year 5 , I put my foot down and refused to let him do that. At that point of time, he was so furious with me. Years down the road, he told me how thankful he was that I did not let him jump to Year 5. Yet, both my son and I went through different degrees of peer pressure to conform. The point is - when we were young, each one of us was vulnerable to being hurt in different ways and to different degrees and if we do not learn to handle our emotions, but to let our emotions handle us, then we are robbing ourselves of a very fulfilled life that we can actually enjoy.

Along this road of life, we sometimes encounter characters who love to unleash negative and destructive statements and order others around as though we owe him/her an eternal debt. The person might or might not belong to the top echelon of an institution or could be suffering from a superiority complex to mask an inferiority complex because something is lacking in him or her. That character could actually be weak and insecure. Things come to a head when there are certain qualities in your personality; certain skills or potentials in you that threaten his/her well established inflated ego. If you are less good or less intelligent as he wants you to believe, he would have ignored you to wallow in your forest of ignorance instead of putting you down. But sometimes these characters just love to attack people and go on a 'rampage' of character assassination. I have learnt that we have two choices. We can either allow the negative seeds he is trying hard to plant in your mind to take root, grow, and make a mincemeat of us if we permit. But if, on the other hand, we comprehend the psychological chess he is playing, and we are sure of ourselves, we better “demolish” the “construction” he has erected in our image and convert the debris from the psychological stumbling blocks into marvellous stepping stones. There are many historical personalities who went through this process.

Did you know that Winston Churchill was treated disdainfully by one of his mathematics teachers? Churchill was told that he was a disaster and was advised to quit school and become a brick layer. Now - let's think carefully. Had he permitted his teacher’s remarks to take root in him he would not have been listed as a distinguished Prime Minister Britain ever had. He led Britain through the World War ll. His diplomatic initiatives, administrative acumen and political know-how were brought to bear on the Second World War and he succeeded in establishing his footprints on the sand of time.

Physicists attempted to dampen the initiative skill of the Wright Brothers. When they embarked on inventing an air plane, those who chose to distract them reminded them about the Law of Gravity and its negative impact on their initiative. They were advised to channel their energies into something else instead of pursuing unachievable goal. Their critics lived to eat their words.

Another example that I can think of is Jesse Owen - the African-American legend who was humiliated by Hitler at the 1936 Berlin Olympic games. His presence was a source of irritation to Hitler with regard to the outcome of the game and in order to nib in the bud, the emerging threat, Hitler inaugurated a psychological warfare. By snubbing and humiliating Owen, his calculation was to disorganise his mental equilibrium, lower his morale as to induce a poor performance. But Owen knew the secret of transmutation. That is, he knew how to change base metals into gold. This he demonstrated by absorbing the humiliation and transforming it into extra-energy, and directed it to his leg muscles. Then came the ritual of : “on your marks, set, go” Owen made an impressive display of talent blended with style. He returned to the USA with five gold medals. His imposing monument stands like a colossus in Ohio State as a gesture for his contribution to his country. Owen refused to be put down. Frankly, I used to be such an emo wreck in the past especially from November '08 to Jan '09 but then again, it was because I felt very vulnerable due to the challenging circumstances. When under siege, I was flustered etc but now - what the heck? I would just smile, shrug it off and walk away! It is not important and I will not sweat or lose sleep over such any trivial remark/person/situation. I have learnt to let go. I have learnt NOT to get angry or offended or to feel indignant or to be a victim! I realised that I became the victim only if I allowed myself to be put down by another person.

Albert Einstein was not spared. One Thomas Jefferson Jackson See, a mathematician, Doctor of Philosophy, astronomer and biographer ridiculed Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, stating that Einstein’s Theory “has set Physics and astronomy back 1000 years”! His anti-Einstein statement was made with much prejudice. Einstein knew this very well and was not moved or separated from his pipe. The rest of us know how he persevered until the world knows the importance of Einstein's theory from then till today.

Another example is Christopher Columbus was teased and laughed at when he presented his voyage plan to Spain’s geography experts. They looked at him directly in the eyes and branded his initiative a “mission impossible”. His boiling zeal was not dampened one bit.

All the people mentioned above have shrugged off the wet blanket thrown at them and refused to be put down. What about you?

Have you found yourself in a situation where someone/persons jump at the opportunity to put you down like those mentioned above? Chances are the person has a mean streak and does not even see the value in a human being apart from himself or herself. Did you use your fist to deliver a blow to the person who attempted to put you down or complain too much like Iago in Othello? No. Never repay evil with evil. Did you accept the image he made of you by quitting your institution or your trade?No. Don't do that because that person will be jumping around gleefully that he or she managed to get at you where it hurts most. Or did you neutralise his remarks as the persons mentioned above did?

The choice is ours dear readers....To be a victim or to rise above circumstances. Let's turn stumbling blocks to stepping stones to growth!!! Then we can truly live live to the max and be happy and fulfilled.

Today, when I meet up with my old classmates or anyone for that matter, I do not feel the sense of inferiority, neither do I feel a sense of superiority. It does not matter if they earn mega dollars and I don't. It matters not to me if they are wearing branded watches and I don't. What matters most to me is that I know who I am, and I am in touch with myself, I love myself for who I am and change what needs to be changed and improve in areas of weakness. So what do I do? Hold my head up high, smile, know who I am and try to the best of my ability to be the best person that I can be because I want to live my life to the max - and not because I yearn for approval or acceptance. In this harsh and cruel world, I have discovered that there are more who are mean than those who are kind so what I need to do is to spread a little love and kindness and if my love and kindness are not appreciated, no worries because it means it is time for me to move on and to try a little bit of kindness on someone else.

Have a great day and a great life and may God bless you!