Life is a strange journey. Sometimes, I meet people with whom I can click in a jiffy and then in the twinkling of an eye, they disappear as though they had been a figment of my imagination leaving me reeling in shock, pinching myself to see if it was all a dream. Then there are other times when I get to know someone, get along like wildfire and then a small hiccup turns into a major bushfire that blazes into other friendships and the flame of friendship is snuffed out but I recover with good sense and much more wisdom than I had before. Whatever it is, each of them has colored my life in different ways and I have learnt precious lessons from each relationship.
Through blogging, I have met many types of people and made a few good friends along the way. I think the most important element I would look for in a friendship is sincerity, honesty, kindness, love, tolerance and consistency and not those who backbite, criticize, condemn or gossip, heaven forbid! Life is too short and I prefer to fill it with good things, positivism than negativism and other nasty elements.
Amongst the few good friends I have made since I started blogging include Antares(my mentor, buddy, moral compass etc), Angela( dearest friend), Uncle John (who is almost like my godfather !!), Walski (dear friend and IT adviser, Dr. Saravanan (buddy, medical adviser, lifter of my spirits, enourager, friend), CK Saw (dear friend who tells me my sentimentalism is beyond hope and breathes advice and wisdom into my soul with his brand of lighthearted humor) and Crankster (whom I miss dearly-hey sister where r u???) whom I have met.
Then there are other bloggers/readers whom I have never met but whom I regard as very good friends especially Pakac Luteb(who has truly been a sincere, consistent, supportive and earnest friend despite his/her anonymity. I admire his/her zeal and desire to stir the conscience of Malaysians and his diligence in his mission). Pakac Luteb is truly a constant source of wisdom and inspiration to me and his/her writing and messages give me hope that all is not lost because of a person like him/her who cares enough to do what he or she is doing so consistently with so much perseverance and undaunted enthusiasm. Thank you for being there for me and listening to my rants etc. and for breathing wisdom, stability and balance into my life and for constantly making me wake up to see reality as it is...
Of course, there is Ocho-Onda (whose identity is unknown but has been a good friend/blog reader/blogger who is another sincere, earnest, energetic and wise character who leaves many thought provoking comments), Gobloking (who is like the sister I never had), MarGeeMar (comrade, prayer warrior, friend and encourager even though I know not his/her identity), Chahya, Kak Teh, Kak Ezza, Walt, Romerz, Tony and others as well. Indeed I have been greatly blessed by these people and even you, dear reader whom I know visits my blog regularly/frequently but whose identity I do not know.
Tony, who hails from England, lives in Scotland and is married to beautiful Ema and they have an adorable 2-year old girl named Erin. From the first day that Tony wrote to me, a strong camaraderie was developed and I truly appreciate the very deep, mature and thought provoking mails he always sends to me. Indeed, his emails have been a source of strength and inspiration for me and I have invited him many times to write for the blog but he never responded. One day, it occurred to me to ask him for permission to reproduce parts of his emails that could inspire other readers the way it has inspired me and in his last email to me, Tony finally agreed!!! Thanks!!!
So dear reader, the following is an email from Tony which I am reproducing with his permission...Please leave a comment if you like. If you would like to email me, my email address is cocklesofmyheart@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you dear reader. Thanks and have a lovely weekend!
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Hi Paula,
The subject of Education - very tricky.
On reflection I suppose I should divide my education into so many stages of development.Obviously my early days(infant, junior,and senior school) were state sponsored whereby my education was to a fixed curriculum and my progress was monitored by examinations at ages 11, 13 and 16.
At 11 years of age, a very important stage was reached as the results of the 11+ examination determined the academic standard of school you would be attending i.e. a"secondary modern" or a"grammar school" - the latter was the aspiration of most but achieved by only a small percentage. It was supposed that entry to grammar school would portend a professional career...doctor,lawyer or the civil service etc and that the secondary modern would offer education for those that were deemed to only have the intelligence to become "tradesmen. I failed the 11+ with ease and was then streamed into what my father called the "cannon fodder brigade" -children of a certain class that would become either artisans or join the military -so at the tender age of 11 my fate was already sealed.
At 13 I had another chance to improve my lot but as the standard of education,at the secondary school I attended, was sadly lacking in developing a thirst for knowledge I managed to fail this next level examination magnificently. I was doomed.
I plodded on,not really interested in my education as I had already been written off at 11 and 13,until at the age of 16 I suddenly developed an interest in all things mechanical -could engineering be my savior -we would see -I enrolled at the local technical college on a 2 year basic engineering course.
The very first day of the course was a revelation-on reading the prospectus I discovered that we were expected to attend sessions devoted to mathematics and English -why does an engineer need those subjects I,naively, asked my self -well -- over the subsequent few days my question would be answered -and,unbelievably - I fully understood and kicked myself for being so stupid and realised,in those early days, that an open mind that can analyse the stated facts and give,in writing, a clear and concise opinion was foremost in understanding a fundamental problem and and having the ability to communicate the solution to interested parties.It was also abundantly clear to me that I was deficient in my grasp of the English language and so I embarked on a voyage of discovery into the world of literature -English literature -and what a world was opened up for me to explore-in between my engineering studies I devoured all that the college library could offer -Dickens,Pepys,Elliot.T.E.Lawrence( Seven pillars of wisdom-a firm favourite) and of course The Bard.
I completed the course with honours -now to further expand my knowledge -I had my foot on the first wrung of the ladder -which direction should I follow -which fork in the road should I choose -believe it or not.....I choose the Military...don't ask me why....I was 18.....I was a greenhorn...I knew nothing of life...and,oh boy,was that about to change.
My basic training was completed at Catterick Camp - a cold,desolate,ball-busting place where I,and all the other recruits, were screamed and yelled at,marched until feet bled, from 6-00am until , collapsed from shear fatigue,lights out at 9-00pm.It was 6 weeks of hell -but the Tony that emerged from those 42 days was a honed,slim-hipped,barrel-chested,six foot tall,member of Her Majesty,s armed forces.
In those very short 42 days I had learned more about myself than in the previous 18 years,I had learnt the merits of discipline,the true meaning of the word "comradeship" but most of all I had self-respect and a healthy respect and regard for the officers and men of my regiment -I had (and still have)regimental pride-there was no prouder a soldier at our passing out parade than me.Now I was a member of R.E.M.E.- The Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers -Our motto..Arte et Marte....By skill and By Fight -the reeeemeee was now my family -I was nurtured,I was fed,I was housed and I was taught the skills of an army engineer and I was also taught the skills of a soldier -both these skills were to stand me in good stead in the coming years(and still do).
After a year at our base near Reading in Berkshire I was transferred to Germany for a few months then on to sunny Cyprus -Ah Cyprus -on my second day stationed there part of the local populace decided that the welcome extended to myself ,and my comrades in arms, by our new sergeant major was not as deservedly warm as they wished it to be... so they threw grenades at us and ran away.This was my first experience of somebody trying to kill me -and it was not to be the last.
Education - - don't you just love it.
To be Continued -maybe!
Tony.
4 comments to MEMOIRS OF AN ENGLISHMAN
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Unknown Dear Walt,
I see you have an inspiring tale to tell too! Please share with me.
Now I can see how the strong steadfast character of yours was developed. I wanted to send my son to military school after his Year 9 but he was not keen on it ...
Do share with me one day ok?
Thanks for your comment. Take care and have a blessed weekend with your loved ones.
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jonno1951 Paula
Godfather!!!!! Blush. OK, you may kiss my hand when we next meet but I am happy with just a hug. HAHAHAHAHA.
You know that being Chinese, we have been drilled from birth that education was paramount and with that ingrained in my brain, I succeeded in my studies and ended up with 3 degrees. Why, I have no idea as all the very successful people; Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and many other multi billionaires are all Uni drop-outs.
I can relate to Tony's experience in the military as I spent 7.5 years in the military (AirForce) and while I did not undergo the same hardship Tony experienced as a foot soldier (Officers training was a bit more civilized but nonetheless tough). At least our Warrant Officer Disciplinary (equivalent to his Sargeant Major) was abit more polite (we were afterall officers) but he did reserve some choice words for our more naive officer trainees. However, I must rate my time in the military as my most formative years as I learnt discipline, leadership and most importantly, respect for others (OK lah, Chinese are brought up to show respect to their elders), especially those who are not only superior but subordinate to us. As Tony alluded, the comradeship is something that one cannot find in normal life. I guess this is because in the military, life and death in conflicts dictate that we depend on each other. Also tradition is very much ingrained in us during training and our time in service.
Life has alway been a learning experience for me and I shall never stop learning til the day I leave this earth. The people I meet and learn from are my most treasured assets. It must be Karma that I met you and your lovely family. You are one amazing woman who is so prolific with her writings that I struggle to read everything you post. How do you find time for your hubby and kids?
While I still don't have any grand kids (yet), I would be so proud to have grandkids like your two boys. You are indeed blessed. Maybe as Godfather, I can "borrow" them until my own offspings can produce some. At least I don't have to baby sit yours.
Hugs
John
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Unknown Dear Uncle John,
Haha! Sure! It is our pleasure to show love in as much as it is natural for you to show us love!! :-) Nick always asks about you.
Your life story has always been an inspiration to me - how you struggled to make it to the top and even to marry the woman you love!!! Amazing!
I was unaware of your military background till now but now I understand how and why discipline became your foundation to achieve success.
Thanks for your compliments re my writing/posts :-). *blush* It is because I read a lot and don't have much to do apart from housework, reading and other work stuff (very little in fact) so what else is there but to blog, keep sane and stay connected....Amazingly, I still have time for my better half and son...hubby is the first to read my posts :-) and to give his comment as to whether it is acceptable or not, except if I post it after his bedtime haha!
It will be my pleasure to loan you my boys - I can imagine my older one playing DOTA with you while Nick prepares dinner for you guys LOL!!!!
Take care and know that you hold a very special place in our hearts!!!
hugs and much love always
Walt There are no good wars, but military training is a good experence to have. There is no graduating class that I am more proud of.
In 1958, as a young child with dyslexia, there was no help for me. My first four years in school were hell, My teachers knew nothing about dyslexia, and thought I was just a fool. My future looked dark for a long time. It was the army that gave me a chance to excel.