masterwordsmith-unplugged

The past four months have been quite an experience for me. Having faced a variety of challenging situations and meeting even more challenging characters, I have harvested many precious lessons that have taught me so much more than what I have learned in my entire lifetime.

Sometimes in life, we may meet toxic characters; conversely, some may find us toxic! Being alienated by those whom we do not like is not as painful (in fact, to me it is a big relief!!) as being alienated by those with whom we can connect. Now, under the latter circumstance, do we just alienate ourselves like other toxic people who like to ex-communicate those who do not meet their 'standards' or do we struggle within ourselves to continue to love despite unfavorable situations?

For me, I would certainly keep my distance from obnoxious characters lest we ourselves be tainted by their negativism. Being nice to them would be akin to throwing pearls to the swine and a total waste of time for they would not receive it in good faith but would continue to write essays and create tea-time conversations about us!! So, for such "I'm better than you" characters, the best thing to do is to stay away as far as possible! Out of sight, out of mind, out of any potential danger! This is insurance that is good for the soul.

For those whom we may have inadvertently hurt or disappointed, however, I believe we should not just give up; perhaps we should move in tandem with their body language or lack of it and keep a distance if they are keeping theirs...but I believe we should still think of them fondly with no grudges.

From my experience, thinking and caring about others allows a person to learn more about life than thinking and caring about himself or herself alone. Finding an interest in helping others can teach us about how other people live and how difficult life can be in many circumstances. Caring about others opens up your world to new friends and provides a sense of satisfaction in life. More importantly, I believe that we need to teach our children about the value of giving.

I have learnt that teaching our child the value of giving is an important lesson to learn in life. Children who are willing to give a helping hand or think about another person’s situation in life can really make an impact on the world. In business, a caring individual will help others succeed and this can make a great work environment. In the home life, a caring individual will help his or her family to love and be loved. The value of giving can be seen in every aspect of goodness. Ah, if only more in our country can practise this habit of giving instead embarking on fault-finding missions.

Sometimes, when we give, the recipient may not be grateful, worse still, may complain about us but does that matter? I used to get hurt but heck, now I realize that when I give with an open heart and the receiver does not value the gift or my friendship or gesture, if he/she wants to gripe over minor issues, then it is his/her problem. Attitude is very important and as parents, we have to show exemplary behavior and teach our children to give from our hearts.

There are many opportunities for our children to give. They can give their toys away to children without toys or can give money to a child without food. They can volunteer their time helping neighbors take out their trash or carry in their groceries. There are many organizations that provide ways for children to give of their time and assets.

The value of giving can be experienced anywhere you are located: in the home to other family members or in a homeless shelter to people they don’t know. We can sponsor food or stationery and other stuff for orphans. I did this before with my care group in my church and mobilised our kids to perform for the orphans while the adults gave away the freebies. Finding ways to give of oneself offers so many rewards for a child and an adult. In short, parents should support their children in any activity that they decide they want to pursue.

Another very important part of being a parent is ensuring that our children must realize their self-worth and build self confidence. As parents, we need to continually seek ways to show and tell our child how important and valuable he or she is and to guide them into doing what is right, but not at the cost of making your child feel that he or she is always wrong. If you feel like you are continually going after your child to clean his or her room or pick up his or her toys, make sure that you remind your child how much you love him or her and how important he or she is and then emphasize that it is his/her responsibility to take care of his toys. Then, the change will begin...

Children build self confidence when their parents and friends recognize that they are of value. Parents who never miss to attend any of their child’s school activities send a signal to their child that he or she is important. Watching all competitions they play in will give them confidence that they always have a cheering section. Gaining confidence in oneself can be aided by their parent’s constant reminders of love. Almost everyday, I will tell my boys that I love them be it at bed-time, on the phone or just a bear-hug after dinner. To me, those are priceless moments!

Some children have difficulty accepting that they are unique individuals and that it is all right to be different from their siblings and friends. Avoiding comparison of siblings can help to alleviate any thoughts that someone else is better than they are. I made the mistake in the past when I compared my two boys and I have learnt from that mistake, thank goodness! Always recognize the efforts of all children so they know that the part they play in the family is just as important as the other children.

A child who knows that he or she is important will be able to pursue anything he or she put his or her mind to in life. This child will do what’s right for himself or herself and what’s right for others. When children build self confidence, it will follow them throughout their lives and will enrich everything they do.

So, let's continue to give of ourselves to those whom we love and even to those who may not love us that much....As for those who dislike us, we can only keep our distance and pray for them and bear no ill feelings or grudges. No matter how painful it is sometimes, there is value in giving...this much I believe. I should know because my life has been blessed richly by friends and loved ones who gave of their time, love and energy to me...Thanks and may you be greatly blessed as you give...without thinking of receiving...Have a great day!