As I went through the different cupboards to look for these mementos from the past, I realized what a terrible hoarder I am, just like my hamster.
Each morning, before I hang my clothes, I will call out "Mishy' and he will gladly climb to the top of the cage and after which I will give him his usual pat, stroke, 'manja' routine and then give him his yoghurt treat. Later, whatever sunflower seeds I give him will be hoarded in his cheeks..in fact hamster means 'hoarder' in German.
Different people hoard for different reasons and they hoard different items too. Some hoard plastic or paper bags, napkins, boxes, used wrapping paper, mementos of the past such as children's clothing, broken toys and the list is endless. Me - I hoard photos, books, paper bags and other stuff - too many to list.
Why do we hold on so tightly to these items and hoard them even though they should have been thrown away because their usefulness has expired? Surely when we die, our children will not be thrilled to inherit the tons of garbage that we left behind for them.
Actually, I think it is because for some of us who are like me, we hoard memorabilia because it showcases the natural history of our life; the stages of life that we went through and even people who touched our lives.
We hang on to them because these items can help us to relive past events by bringing to remembrance again our memories of the past. Deep inside, most of us could be sentimental hoarders stemming from a desire to know our roots and to treasure those things that meant so much to us at one point in time. Perhaps we want to leave something behind as well to tell other people about our lives and what made it so unique and unforgettable. Well, that's also one of the reasons why I blog - to allow my children and hopefully grandchildren to open a window and look into my life years down the road...
As for me, I still have my boys' umbilical cord, their hair from the first haircut, their milk teeth, favorite toy etc. because these have traces of their childhood that I want to treasure and want them to cherish when they grow up and I know that no matter how hard I try, I can never get these again because I reaped them from one moment of time in their lives.
To me, these keepsakes are definitely real and tangible reminders of what happened in our past as contrasted to our memories of the past which will fade over time.
It was with deep reluctance that I threw away my sons' kindergarten books and other stuff. However, I still have samples of their first picture drawn, samples of their writing and so on because these remind me of their childhood more powerfully than photos can.
When my dad passed away in October last year, I kept behind his clothes, old photographs and other mementos - something which I did when my mom died more than 35 years ago.Such sentimental objects keep me connected to them in a very personal and comforting way.
Recently, I reconnected with old friends. As we exchanged recollections of our younger days, I realise that as I grow older, most of us, myself included become more cognizant of the passage of time.
Time passes by pretty fast. I know I cannot hold on to moments...the same way I wish my younger boy could be 10 years old forever ....but we can hold on to things that represent those moments. Each time I give away their clothes, I will keep aside a few for remembrance sake. It is because I am aware that I do not want those precious moments to disappear and that those souvenirs from the past are all that I have left. So I hoard and hoard and hoard, gloating over my 'treasures' without the least being embarrassed by my sentimentalism.
Whenever I do spring cleaning, I never cease to be amazed by the amount of junk I have amassed over the years. If only these were house title deeds - dream on honey. Each time, I have to go through the painful process of analyzing its usefulness and utility or possibility for recycling and each time, the answer is the same - throw it away but sentimental me says - I will throw it the next time. In the mean time, let's hoard it!
One thing is for sure - I will always hoard the most beautiful memories of my life. The bitter ones I will KIV for references and revision so to speak lest I forget the lessons learnt from those experiences. Truly, I am so thankful that I have snapshots of some of the best moments of my life for me to relive those wonderful times.
These are some of my favorite photos ... my friend has not returned my printer/scanner so I had to take pics of my fav pics...This is my beloved cousin Hoy who lives in San Franciso. That's the two of us in a Japanese restaurant downtown in Frisco after we watched Phantom of the Opera. He is my closest living relative and I had a wonderful childhood because of him and his family whom I love dearly...er...I stopped wearing contact lens last year.
My aunts from US whom I miss so much. Having lost my mom at the age of 11, my First Aunt and especially my Sixth Aunt nurtured me and I do not know where I would be today without their love. Third aunt who is in her 80s is recovering in Sausalito. First aunt (who is 94 years old) lives with Third Aunt while my sixth aunt lives in Bay Area. I love this pic taken in Napa Valley...And I really miss them so so dearly...
Believe it or not, this is my ravishing sixth aunt who is already **years old but looks so much younger than me!!! She is a wonderful ballroom dancer and competes in many competitions and even in Blackpool almost every year and is the one who got me hooked on Latin American dances such as salsa, rhumba, cha-cha, merengue (which is the easiest Latin dance!!!)
Life is indeed short. I cannot imagine what my life would have been without them, my family and friends. It is not easy to grow old. We go through the different stages of life and in the twinkling of an eye, we slip into middle age and then it is a totally different ball game with different rules and concerns. It is so easy to be caught up with so many issues or distractions and then to lose sight of what is truly important to us...I only hope that by the time I reach my twilight years, I can be as robust, zestful and positive as my three aunts and the other important people in my life....
Abraham Lincoln once said, "And in the end it is not the years in your life that counts. It is the life in your years." How true indeed!!!
Starmandala You too huh? Well, if it's any comfort, this post has inspired me to devote some energy real soon to throwing out at least 50% of all the "memorabilia" I've accumulated since the early 1970s!